When I Need You (Need You #4)

“So, uh, thanks for sticking around and helping tonight. Especially after Calder got sick on you. If your clothes are ruined I’ll replace them, just let me know how much they cost. And how much do I owe you for the—”

“Would you stop?”

I didn’t meet his gaze until his shadow fell across me.

“Come here,” he said gruffly.

“Jensen, you don’t—”

“Shut up and let me hold you. You’re shaking.” He wrapped me in his arms.

That felt good. He felt good. Solid. Comforting. I closed my eyes and sank into him.

After a bit, I said, “I’m sorry. I doubt you saw the night ending this way.”

“I don’t assume anything, Rowan.”

“Oh.” Not what I’d expected.

Maybe you should change your expectations when it comes to this man, since he’s exceeded all of them.

“You settled enough to listen to me?”

That caused me to bristle.

His mouth brushed my ear. “Why did that simple question get your back up?”

“Because it’s not a simple question. It sounded accusatory.”

“Maybe it was. So I’ll lay it out. You pissed me off tonight, Coach.”

My back went even more rigid.

“I wasn’t pissed because your son got sick. I’m pissed that you think so little of me. You assumed because we were interrupted that I’d be mad. That I care about sex—or lack of it—more than your son’s well-being and your peace of mind.”

I didn’t deny it; I had thought that.

“Why did you assume I’d kick you out of my apartment and leave you to deal with everything on your own?”

I tried to squirm away but his hold tightened.

“See? When push comes to shove . . . you shove. If I hadn’t been around to help you tonight, I’ve no doubt you would’ve done it all yourself.”

“How would that have been different than any other night in my life? It’s no reflection on you, Jensen, that I’m resistant to accepting help. I’ve never been in this situation before. Where I’m . . . on a date or hookup or whatever it was and I get a call that my son is sick. I don’t date. Because of exactly what happened tonight! Calder getting sick was the universe reminding me I am a single mother and I don’t have the luxury of going out and acting as if I don’t have a responsibility in the world.” I managed to hold it together—just barely.

“So I’m just a hookup? You’d bang me, get it out of your system and assume things would go back to the way they were between us before?” he demanded softly.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking clearly. It was a whirlwind. A night of fun at a funky bar. And afterward, the way you touched me . . . the way you wanted me. For a little while I got to have the fantasy. So thank you. But this is the reality of who I am.”

“You think I don’t know that about you?”

“Knowing it and experiencing it are two different things.” I kept my gaze aimed at his chest. “Calder comes first for me. Every single time.”

“As he should.”

“But?”

Jensen nudged my chin up to look into my eyes. “No buts. Your dedication to being there for your son will never be an arguable point for me.”

“Then what are we arguing about?”

“Nothing. I had to force you to take my help tonight. All I’m asking is, next time? Don’t fight me on it. Save us both the time and wasted energy and accept it.”

I blinked at him. “There’ll be a next time?”

“Well, if I have any say in it . . . yes.”

My eyes searched his. “Why aren’t you running the other direction?”

He laughed. “I have no fucking idea.”

I laughed too. At least he was honest.

“Do you want me to go?”

Did I? I wasn’t naive. Things had changed between us tonight, but I wasn’t ready to embrace all of it. Maybe that was the problem. I wanted to compartmentalize everything just like my brother did. I would’ve thrown myself into a wild night of sex with Jensen, but I balked at the idea of him falling asleep and waking up with me in my bed in front of my son. That wasn’t fair. Maybe I had to send him away until I could accept all of what was growing between us and not just the easy, obvious parts.

“Rowan. Sweetheart, that wasn’t a trick question.”

“I know. I just . . .”

“I’ll go. Do me a favor. Shut down that hamster wheel in your head. Whatever is spinning in there will keep.” He pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. “Try and get some rest. If you need anything, call me or text me. I’ll have my phone right next to me.” Then he gave me a little head-butt. “Don’t be stubborn.”

“I won’t be. I promise.”

Jensen turned toward the door. But then he turned back. “Oh. One more thing.”

“What?”

“This.” He slanted his mouth over mine and brought me flush against his body. He kissed me with all the fire and finesse he’d shown me earlier, but this kiss had a sharper edge to it. As if to remind me that he could be helpful, thoughtful Jensen, but he was also one hundred thousand percent a hot, hungry male who would bide his time, but in the end, he would have me.

“Lock the door behind me,” he murmured against my mouth when we came up for air.

Then he was gone.





Eighteen


JENSEN




I hadn’t heard from Rowan, so I assumed Calder had settled down for the rest of the night.

Although I’d been up late, I rolled out of bed at my usual time and met with Dante at the training center. None of my teammates had shown up, so it was a quiet but intense workout. Especially since Dante seemed more preoccupied than usual.

Legs wobbly, arms aching, I parked myself in front of the industrial fan in the locker room, letting the sweat drip off my face and hair onto the towel between my feet.

“What’s going on with you lately?” Dante said, startling me.

I didn’t bother looking at him. I’d grown tired of defending myself at every turn. I’d proven myself to anyone in the organization who’d demanded it of me, whenever they’d demanded it. “I more than kept up today and you damn well know it. The amount of speed I’ve lost since the surgeries is nominal and will have zero effect on my ability to run the ball. I’m stronger, more agile, so I can block faster. I’ve never been in better shape so I seriously don’t know what you want from me, Coach.”

Silence.

Dante laughed. Not a nice laugh either. “Coach, huh? Guess you put me in my place. So much for my belief we’re friends outside of me being your trainer.”

I said nothing, because knowing Dante as I did, he wasn’t finished.