What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours

“I still don’t think it’s true,” Aisha said. “He couldn’t have done something like this.” When Noor put on his solicitor voice to point out that the video had been up for half a day, had a view count of half a million, and would have had Matyas Füst’s team of lawyers swinging left and right if the content hadn’t had any basis in fact, Aisha said through gritted teeth: “But he hasn’t said anything at all.”

“He’ll probably make a statement in the morning,” Noor said. We were failing as the men in Day and Aisha’s life. We weren’t doing what we were supposed to do. This came through very clearly in the way that Day and Aisha were looking at us, or more not looking at us, really.



THE MORNING brought no statement from Füst, and Noor sounded relieved (and ashamed of his relief) when he said: “Looks like she hasn’t got any proof and he’s going to ignore or deny it.” In the afternoon there were reports of an eyewitness to the beating coming forward, and about an hour after that Füst’s legal team announced that he’d voluntarily made himself available to the police for questioning.



AT THE CLINIC my concentration was poor and I mixed up checkout forms so that departing clients got to read details of each other’s low self-esteem and experience the outrage of not being unique. Tyche Shaw and I were on the same shift again, and got authorization to offer free secondary sleep sessions all round so we wouldn’t be sued. But like Aisha, Tyche was addicted to the YouTube clip. She spent her break time watching it over and over on her phone and ran the battery right down.

“I found that one tough to watch,” I told her.

“Really?” she said. “But it’s just someone talking about this time she got beaten up. No bullets or gore or bombs or anything. This is nothing compared to other things you can see on this site.”

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t explain it.”

“Well, I hope she sees the view count and accepts that as an answer to her question about whether people care. These numbers are up there with the numbers for footage of the world’s most brilliant strikers scoring the decade’s most brilliant goals. So it’s not that we’re indifferent . . . we care . . . just in a really really really fucked-up way . . .”

Matyas Füst’s fiancée released a statement as we were leaving work: She was shocked and upset to hear of “the events described in the video” and would be paying the victim a visit to see if there was anything she could do for her. She had never seen a violent side to Matyas’s character but it was now undeniable that he’d been struggling with some issues and they’d be spending some time apart while he completed a course of anger management therapy.

“No jail time for Füst . . . just a fine and some therapy,” Tyche predicted, even as she admired the photo of the prima ballerina, who was elfin and ethereal and all the rest of it.

“Yeah, well, I beg to differ,” I said.

Tyche stuck her hand out. “Bet you a hundred pounds.”

“I suppose this is all just a joke to you, but I know a girl who’s pretty badly shaken up by all this.”

Tyche sighed. “She was a fan?”

“She’s still trying to be one, I think. Clinging to every possible delusion.”

Tyche’s sigh deepened. “Let me know if intervention’s required.”

“OK, thanks . . .” I had it in my mind to ask Tyche what she thought she might be able to do for a girl she’d never met—in a spirit of curiosity, not hostility—but had to hurry over to the House of Locks. Terry, the man who maintained Boudicca’s fish tank, was waiting for me to let him in. After Terry left I stayed a few more hours, reading Matyas Füst updates aloud to Boudicca, who looked suitably incredulous. YouTube woman was glad she’d had the chance to meet the woman she’d found herself taking a beating for and wouldn’t be pressing charges. She’d hit Füst first—that was an excessive response to some words he’d said, and his response in turn had been excessive; all she asked was acknowledgment of that. A sincere apology. So Matyas Füst was preparing a sincere apology.



HAS SHE READ ANY OF THE COMMENTS? That’s what I wondered. Did the woman from the YouTube video understand that the public wasn’t on her side? She made her requests with such placid mirth, as if talking into a seashell or a shattered telephone, as if Matyas Füst fans weren’t actively looking for her, probably in order to finish her off. Even those who’d begun to condemn Füst believed his apologies should be directed elsewhere (“It’s his fiancée I feel sorry for in all this . . .”). Those who claimed they wanted to feel concern for YouTube woman didn’t like that she’d filmed her allegations while high. And yet she might not have been able to talk about it sober.



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