James dropped Eliza off first, of course. No discussion necessary. I’d never seen Eliza’s house and she never talked about it—she never talked about her family at all—so I wasn’t sure what I expected. Certainly not a McMansion in a subdivision called Morningside Meadows. She climbed out of the van and didn’t look at any of us. James followed, walking her past a Mercedes parked in the driveway and around to the back of the house. He returned a minute later.
“Dude,” said James to Max when he slid behind the wheel again. “Why was it me who just did that?”
Max gave him a dirty look and pulled out his earphones. “Can we get everyone else home now, please?” He leaned his forehead against the window. Kendall stared straight ahead.
When we pulled into Kendall’s driveway, she gave an unashamed sigh of relief. I found myself hopping out of the van with her.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly so nobody would hear.
“What do you have to be sorry about? I’m the one who kissed another girl’s boyfriend and caused some kind of nuclear reaction. By the way, that was both amazing and scary as hell, what you did.”
I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Way to make your first kiss extra memorable.”
“I’m glad you can joke about it. Guess who has to deal with the fallout while I skip town?”
Oof. This reminder hit me square in the chest.
“You leave in what, two weeks?”
“Eleven days.”
“At least you’re not counting or anything . . .”
Kendall gave me a bittersweet smile. “We’ll hang out between now and then. A lot.”
“Do you want me to come in with you?” I asked. “I could stay over.”
Kendall’s smile disappeared. “You can’t avoid going home, Ari.”
“I know that. But I don’t want you to be alone.”
Kendall searched my face and then glanced quickly at the van. “But actually I do. Want to be alone. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
“If my parents haven’t killed me or taken away my phone.”
I hugged her tighter than she hugged me back, then watched her hurry into the house. When I turned back to the van, I saw that James had been watching her, too. There was an expression on his face that I could only describe as suffering, and I instantly knew there was more to this story.
“Where to, lady?” James asked me after I got back in the van. He’d regained his composure.
I finally forced myself to glance back at Camden and Max. Max was staring at Kendall’s house, where her bedroom light had just turned on. Camden was staring at me, a thousand questions in his eyes.
“I’d like to go to the Barn,” I said.
Camden nodded, and James made the van move again.
In my message to my parents, I said I’d be home by eleven. We’d left the SuperCon two hours early, and now it was only a little past nine. That gave me almost two hours before I had to face their music.
But first, I had to face Camden.
The front steps felt rigid, unwelcoming as I climbed them. The porch light was off and there were many more shadows than usual.
I followed Camden inside. “Be right back,” he mumbled, then went straight upstairs.
I went into the bathroom, pulled a T-shirt and jeans out of my backpack. Taking off Satina’s uniform in the same place I had first put it on, that felt important. I knew I’d never wear it again.
When I came out, everything was still dark and too quiet. What was the Barn without Eliza in her captain’s chair at the big table, Max’s oversize figure filling up all this empty space? The banter and the chatter of a very different, truly wonderful kind of family: one that had chosen itself.
I opened the sliding glass door to the patio and stepped out into the night. So strange, that it had been right here, not long ago—that moment at his party with all of us dancing and the air thick with unfiltered Possible.
“Hey,” said Camden behind me. His voice was strained, tired. He’d changed, too, into shorts and a T-shirt. He looked wrong and it took me a few seconds to figure out why.
“You’re not wearing a button-down,” I said.
He surveyed himself. “They were an experiment.”
“I thought they were your thing.”
“Really?” He seemed genuinely surprised, but not flattered. “I didn’t feel that. I tried them because I thought somehow they’d make me feel more normal. Mainstream. But that was really a form of cosplay, too.”
I stepped close to him. Every time he opened up a secret like this, it drew me that much nearer.
“I liked the button-downs,” I said, and touched his arm where the sleeve of the T-shirt stopped at the curve of his bicep. “But I like this just as much.”
His skin tensed where I touched it. I looked up to see his jaw tightening.
“Tell me,” he said. “Tell me why you did that to Eliza.”
“Did you see what she did to Kendall?”
“Yes.”
“Kendall was scared. I reacted.”
“No kidding.” His voice was icy now.
“That’s not me. You know that’s not me.”
“Do I?” He searched my face. “Based on that, I’m not sure who you are. Not the person I thought, for sure.”
I felt a burst of heat on my neck, the back of my ears. “Well, then. That makes us even, doesn’t it?”
He considered that, and his shoulders slumped. Everything about him softened. He sank down onto the patio sofa.
“Yes, it does,” he said.
“You know why Eliza did what she did, right?”