“For things that strike me as beautiful, yes.”
Those green eyes searched into me exactly the way her son’s did. I felt revealed.
“Ari goes to Fitzpatrick,” said Camden after a pause, making it sound like an interesting fact.
“Fitzpatrick,” Maeve repeated, unsure.
“The public high school you wouldn’t let me go to?” Camden turned to me then. “I wanted to. She was against school for me, period. Dashwood was a compromise.”
“Dashwood was the right choice,” said Maeve, reaching out and tucking some of Camden’s hair behind one ear. It seemed like he wanted to shrink away, but forced himself not to. “Not Fitzpatrick. Classes where you have to sit at a desk? Tests? Homework? I couldn’t do that to you.” She turned to me. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be insulting to your school.”
“You can be as insulting as you want,” I said. “It’s nothing special.”
“See?” said Maeve to her son. “You’re special, Camden March Armstrong. You don’t belong somewhere that’s not special.”
Maeve was a parent who was against her kid having homework. Maeve casually said things to her son like You’re special. Maeve helped her son throw a party with the Plastic Masks.
“Are you real?” I blurted out.
Maeve looked confused for a moment, then threw her head back and laughed. “Yes,” she said. “We do exist, the cool parents.” She glanced at Camden, who was examining his fingernails. “As do the children of the cool parents.”
Camden raised his head to glare at her for a second, then touched my shoulder and motioned with his head toward the dancing. There was something pleading in his eyes, like Get me away from this. I nodded yes.
We wove ourselves into the knot of people until we found a little loop of space. He spun toward me and smiled, all dimples and dazzle. As if everything was a private joke between us—the party, the music, the thousand stars in the purple sky. He struck a Saturday Night Fever disco pose, and I laughed, and then it was happening. We were dancing. Together.
And he was dressed like Atticus Marr.
I got that feeling you get when you want to enjoy every second of an amazing situation, and you totally would, if the amazingness weren’t completely freaking you out.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. There was Kendall, smiling her old smile for me. It took me a few seconds to realize there was a boy dancing with her. Blond curls, thick glasses. Dorky adorable.
Kendall leaned in close and said, “James.”
I just said, “Nice.”
The four of us danced in a square, and I could feel the awkwardness falling away until we were practically trampling it.
Suddenly, Eliza appeared between Camden and me, pulling Max along behind her. She turned and wrapped her arms around Max’s—well, not his neck because she couldn’t reach that, but his chest and back—and kept them moving all over. She pressed her body into his and they both had their eyes closed. Satina Galt dancing with Bram, breaking all the rules of the Silver Arrow universe. Not even caring.
Camden pushed them aside.
“Get a room, you guys!” he yelled as he moved closer to me. Eliza flashed him a devious glance, and I wondered why she’d done it, placed her bump-and-grind couplehood in between us like that. Was it for Camden’s benefit? Or mine? There was no trace of jealousy on Camden’s face. Only annoyance.
Camden took my hand and raised it high so I could twirl all the way in one direction, then all the way back. When I was done, I found myself releasing his hand and taking a step back. James had pulled Kendall into a close dance hold, like they were about to do a waltz, and she laughed loud above the music.
Atticus Marr and Bram and Satina Galt.
Around us, almost everyone in pairs, most of them close or touching. The air thick with anticipation and meaning. The intensity of it, and the effort it took to pretend I didn’t notice the intensity of it.
So much like another night, at another party, at another boy’s house. Lukas and I had been dating for three months, and there had been expectation that night, too. When the party started to disperse and I let him lead me down to his basement family room, I’d felt like I was keeping an appointment it would be rude to cancel at the last minute. There was pressure to be part of the program, to go along with the plan.
So I’d done things I didn’t want to do. They made me feel meek and malleable, a feeling that threatened to knock me off the delicate balance I’d gained at the time. After that night, everything was different between Lukas and me. After that night, I began to push him away.
This is different, I said to myself. And also, Camden. Camden, Camden.
Eliza pulled Max’s head down so she could lasso her arms around his neck, then jumped onto him so her legs were wrapped around his waist. They were kissing madly.
Camden stopped dancing so he could watch them.