“Do you think she’s going to be all right?” Charlie asked.
Audrey’s eyes were half closed—she never could hold her liquor—but she said, “It was probably false labor. Sometimes it happens.”
Diego and I agreed, but I’d seen the blood on Zooey’s hands and between her legs. I didn’t know what it meant, but I doubted it was good.
“Well, she’d be the first Denton in history to be early to anything.” I tried to loan Charlie my smile, but he wasn’t in the mood.
“Zooey’s always early,” he said. “If she’s not at least fifteen minutes early to wherever she’s going, she starts to get physically sick.”
Audrey said, “I thought I was bad.”
“You are,” I said.
Charlie wasn’t listening to us so much as talking to fill the void where Zooey should have been. “She has this saying: ‘Early is on time, on time is late, and if you’re late, don’t bother showing up.’”
“I’d hate to work for her.” Diego couldn’t figure out which cup of coffee was his and so just took one at random. He grimaced. “This is worse than what they served in juvie.”
Audrey blinked to clear the sleep from her eyes, and tried to sit up straight. “What was it like?”
Diego’s back stiffened, and he bit the corner of his lip. He hadn’t talked about it, and I hadn’t asked. I was about to change the subject, when he said, “At first it’s scary. When you go inside, they strip you and search you in the most humiliating way imaginable. Guys’ll hide drugs and weapons anywhere they think they can get away with it, but I think the strip search is more about the guards showing you that your ass is theirs. No matter how tough you think you are, you’re their bitch.”
I wondered if that’s why the sluggers always sent me back without my clothes. They had the technology to travel the universe and draw out my memories; surely, they could have returned me to Earth fully dressed.
“I tried to keep to myself, and read every book I could get my hands on, but it’s tough. Most every kid in juvie is inside because they screwed up pretty bad, but they’re all just boys hiding under layers of false bravado. They act like thugs, but most of them miss their mothers. Most still believe they can do anything.”
“Do you believe that?” Audrey asked.
Diego nodded. “If a kid looks like he doesn’t give a shit, it’s not because he doesn’t believe in himself anymore; it’s because no one else believes in him.”
I thought about Jesse. I wondered if that’s why he killed himself. If he thought no one believed in him and that his only escape was at the end of a noose. I wondered about Marcus, too. People believed in him, but the person they believed in was a lie. I don’t know when Marcus stopped being himself and started pretending to be the person others expected him to be.
Charlie was chewing on his fingers again, biting the skin around the nail, and Audrey looked like she was going to fall asleep. “Did it work?” I asked. “Juvie, I mean. Did it change you?”
Diego cocked his head and looked at me as if that wasn’t the question he’d expected me to ask. “People don’t really change; they just find something else to give their life meaning.”
“Do you regret what you did?” Audrey asked.
“Sometimes . . .”
I sensed Diego was going to say more, but Charlie stood up, drawing our attention. I followed his line of sight to the doctor walking through the double doors. She was short and stocky, and carried herself with confidence. Charlie rushed to meet her, and Diego held my hand while we watched. I knew it was bad news the moment I saw her pinched lips and tired eyes. Charlie went rigid, offering the doctor robotic nods as she explained what happened. We were too far away to hear.
“They’re going to take me to see Zooey,” Charlie said when the doctor left. “You should go home.”
“What about you?”
“Just . . .”
Audrey stood, her keys jingling in her hand. “We’ll drive your car here and leave it in the parking lot.”
Charlie nodded, but I doubted he’d heard the words.
“Mr. Denton?” A nurse stood waiting by the doors.
“I’m gonna . . .”
I slugged Charlie lightly in the arm. “She’s okay. You’re both going to be okay.”
“Yeah, Henry. Sure.” Charlie followed the nurse into the bowels of the hospital, and I watched him go. I jumped when Diego touched my shoulder.
“We should get out of here,” he said. “Clean the house before your mom gets home.”
“What do you think happened?” Audrey asked.
“I think I’m not going to be an uncle anymore.”
? ? ?
Audrey tried to make me sit in the front seat on the way home, but I refused. It was her car, after all. I stared at the streak of blood on the leather and wondered if the baby were already dead or if it had offered the world one mewling cry—a first and last protest—before succumbing to gravity.