“But?” He picked up on her pause.
“But . . .” Vhalla didn’t know where her hesitation stemmed from. A sense of direction was pulling at her, telling her that the Golden Guard was not what she was meant to be.
“What do you want, Vhalla?”
“Freedom, peace,” she breathed longingly. Her mind drifted over the Knights of Jadar, the Emperor, the War in the North. War, bloodshed, turmoil—it seemed her world had been punctuated by them since she was a girl. Before she really saw it all for what it was. “I think real peace begets freedom. So, more than anything, I want peace.”
“What do you want,” Baldair emphasized. “Not for the Empire, for you.”
Vhalla thought about it a long moment. “Peace, still?”
“Will you ever find it when my brother marries his Northern bride?” She stiffened instantly at the younger prince’s soft words. “What will you do then? Will you always wonder what could have been?”
“Why are you asking this?” Vhalla looked to the door, praying Aldrik would walk in and save her.
“I need to know.”
“Why?”
“Because I told you something in that very room,” Baldair replied with a nod at the door with a tired smile, evoking memories of the day he taught her to dance. “I told you that you deserved some sort of real thanks for your service to the Empire, and it fell to me to give it to you. If anyone deserves peace, Vhalla, it’s you.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” She grabbed the watch around her neck tightly, her heart aching.
Baldair’s eyes focused on the token she held, but his inquiry remained. “Indulge me one question, and I’ll ask nothing more. Would you be with him still, after everything? Does love spring eternal between you both?”
“I—” She relented and didn’t push the ailing prince further. “It does. I would stand at his side until my dying day.” Vhalla shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. “It doesn’t matter. We’re not, we can’t be anything because my peace, as you call it, isn’t worth the Empire’s.”
“They don’t have to be exclusive.” Baldair leaned forward, squeezing her hand. He opened his mouth to speak again but devolved into an aggressive coughing fit. Vhalla was up, rubbing the back of the younger prince when Aldrik returned almost immediately after.
Aldrik placed the carcivi board on the table. Vhalla assumed her previous seat, beginning to pull out alabaster tokens from a garnet colored bag. Unlike the carcivi boards she’d used before, these had small sculptures of the warriors, archers, and sorcerers on them.
“It’s weird.” Vhalla paused, staring at two sorcerer tokens. “I never thought about it before; all sorcerers have the same range. . . . But a Groundbreaker would need to attack much closer than a Firebearer.”
Baldair burst out with laughter that dissolved once more into coughing. It sounded wetter. “Brother, didn’t you have the same argument with me once?”
“Perhaps.” Amusement lit Aldrik’s eyes; his mask hiding the grin Vhalla knew was there.
“You two would think alike,” Baldair chuckled.
“Would we?” Aldrik pulled away the partition in the middle of their board, revealing the full field of play to Vhalla and Baldair.
“She’s the only one who’s ever been able to stand you. It makes perfect sense.” Baldair smirked.
“Brother, your words just warm my heart,” Aldrik muttered.
“As if you have one,” the younger prince said in obvious jest.
“You are quite right,” Aldrik agreed. Baldair paused to look at his brother curiously. “I gave it away long ago.”
The golden prince wheezed in amusement, his eyes fluttering partway closed.
“Baldair, it’s getting late. Perhaps we shouldn’t begin a game,” Vhalla suggested thoughtfully.
“What? And miss out on this beating that I was promised from you?” Baldair’s brave smile looked exhausted.
“You’re sure?”
“Now I just think you’re scared.” Vhalla watched as he made his first move, using it as an opportunity to assess his condition. The prince was worn thin, his cheeks looked more hollowed than yesterday. His skin was almost translucent.
“Perhaps I am a little scared,” Vhalla remarked. Aldrik glanced at her, and Vhalla held his stare from the corners of her eyes. For once, he seemed to miss her nonverbal concerns.
“My brother favors the direct approach, if that surprises you,” Aldrik commented on the board instead. “Don’t be looking for subtlety or finesse.”
“Do you play?” Vhalla tried to ignore the worrying panic creeping up her spine.
“To whom do you speak, my lady?” Aldrik smirked at her foolish question.
Vhalla rolled her eyes at the elder prince.
“Brother, I am truly glad I was able to see this.” Baldair smiled weakly, countering Vhalla’s move.