Was it any wonder his marriage had failed? Was it any mystery to anyone in this town why it had? Not long after Macy had set him straight on her feelings, he’d tried to date. What a disaster. He’d felt so dead inside when he kissed another girl, there’d been no need to even attempt to take it further. The ghost of another woman clung to him everywhere he went, infiltrated every desire, kissed him while his lips were on someone else’s.
Ghost. The word had crept into his thoughts, and it would be forever tainted with the image of the man who held Macy now. It was like a shock to his heart, causing it to recoil in pain and struggle to reclaim its beat. If he hung around Starla, there would be more face-to-face encounters with Ghost like the one last night. If he had many conversations with her, surely the name would appear with some frequency. Maybe her very presence would always elicit this response for Jared. No, he didn’t know if he could take that, remembering how close he’d been to having it all—or so he thought—then having it snatched so cruelly away.
“Are you all right?” Starla asked as they reached his front porch and took the five steps up. The girls had already gone inside, leaving the front door open for them. “You seem to have left me for a minute.”
Get used to it, he reflected, even the thoughts in his head grumbling. Once Macy permeated his brain, she was usually there to stay. “Nah, I’m fine.”
“That’s good, because I am about to take over your kitchen and blow your mind. Can you handle it?”
He couldn’t help but grin at the way she tossed that question at him, the same way he’d asked her if she could handle his girls. So far, she was handling them like a champ. “Awesome. I’m starving. But while you do that, I hope you don’t mind if the girls and I go feed the animals real quick.”
“No, that’s fine, go do what you gotta. I’ll be slaving away over a hot stove. Do you have an apron I can wear?” She winked at him.
“I probably could scrounge one up, if you really need it. I’d hate for you to mess up your pretty shirt.”
“Aww, aren’t you sweet. Nah, I was kidding. I’m not the apron-wearing sort. Although I may very well be cursing this choice before the night’s over.”
“You look really nice.”
“Thanks. And—wow. Holy sh— I mean, great house.” They’d entered the front door, and she’d gotten her first look around.
“Oh, it’ll do.”
She looked at him with wide brown eyes. He was glad for the chance to finally see their color. Very nice, like warm melted chocolate. “What exactly do you do for a living, Jared?”
He chuckled. “I do cattle and horses, obviously, but it’s more of a hobby. This place was my grandparents’, and when they passed on, no one else in the family wanted the responsibility of it except me. So I moved in and remodeled. Actually, I’m an electrician.”
“Ooh, electric. I like it. You work on power lines and stuff?”
“No, that’s a lineman. I’m strictly indoors. I work for my dad. He has an electrical contracting company.”
“Seems dangerous.”
“It can be. You definitely gotta respect it, not get too comfortable or too cocky.” He led the way through the living room and into the kitchen, where he hefted the bags onto the island. Starla put the cookies on the counter. The girls must have forgotten all about them and scampered off to their room.
“Ever taken some volts?”
“Oh yeah. Not fun.” He watched as she began removing items from the bags, decided she was a woman after his own heart foodwise, and relaxed a little. Besides worrying she’d only been joking about making dinner, he’d also wondered what strange concoction she might thrust upon them tonight. Pork and potatoes and cookies were just fine with him. “Pops your elbows, leaves you all jittery for the rest of the day. What about you? I figure you have some occupational hazards too. I wouldn’t like working with anything where I come into contact with blood.”
“Yeah. I’m so paranoid about it too, it’s like a phobia. If I could wrap myself in plastic, I would. I remember telling…I told Brian I wish I could get over it. He said, ‘Don’t.’ It’s like you said, I guess. Can’t get too comfortable.”
“Hmm.” He wondered how long she’d been hung up on Brian. She couldn’t say his name without faltering. Well, that was probably for the best if each of them had someone else heavy on their thoughts. It would keep things from getting confused between them.
Relieved with that epiphany, he left her in the kitchen and went to get his girls ready.
Chapter Six