“I heard they caught that guy.”
“Yeah.” That was one good thing that had come out of the last couple of weeks. Max had confessed. The police had confronted him with the most incriminating evidence of all, a drop of his blood at the scene of Brian’s attack. His pitiful, black-eyed mug shot had been all over the local news, turning Jared’s stomach daily. He almost regretted not adding to the damage on the guy’s face, but at least Brian had gotten his shot in. That was all that mattered. And Brian was going to be fine. Last Jared had heard, he was out of the hospital.
“So…what, you’re done with us damsels in distress? Too much work for you?” Shelly teased. They were both getting a few curious glances from passersby, fuel for the gossipmongering.
He had to chuckle. “That’s not it.”
“She was cute. Not what I expected for you, of course, but cute. The girls still talk about her.”
She was beautiful. He missed her throaty chuckle. He missed watching his fingers stroke her colorful skin. He missed her dirty mouth and her peachy scent; he missed teasing her clit piercing until she came apart against his mouth…
“Jared, you’ve been like a ghost lately. Mimi has even said you’re acting weird. Not to sound presumptuous, but look, if you’re worried what I think given some of the stuff I said, it’s okay. All right? I’m good.”
He turned that over in his mind and decided that Shelly’s opinion had held more weight than he would’ve liked it to. She was the mother of his children, after all, and she deserved that respect. Still, she didn’t know all the lurid details.
“I appreciate it.”
“And I’m sorry. I came into our marriage knowing I was living in someone else’s shadow, and even though you were never anything but good to me, I let that consume me. It was a hard place to be in, though, you have to understand.”
He stopped to look at her. “You were my wife. I gave you everything I could.”
“Which was everything but your heart. No, don’t deny it,” she added quickly when he opened his mouth. “We’ll just have to agree to disagree if you do. Let me say this. I think you carry a lot of guilt when you shouldn’t. At least some of it belongs to me. I didn’t let you…I don’t know, I didn’t let you try.”
He cast a glance around. The girls were waiting for them beside their mom’s car, both of them occupied for the moment by a teammate. “What do you mean?”
She took a shuddery breath, and he worried she might start to cry here in front of a good portion of the town. Her pretty dark eyes glistened, but any tears that might be coming forth stayed put. “I know you wanted things to work for us. You worked hard for things to work. I didn’t help. I freaked out. I felt like a failure. I’m only saying… I don’t know what I’m saying. Just that you deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who’ll help you work toward being happy, and not throw it in your face if you’re not.”
“You deserve to be happy too, Shell. You deserve it with someone who doesn’t have to try, or work for it. I want that for you.”
“Yeah.” A breeze blew a strand of hair across her face. Not long ago, he would have swiped it away for her. She tucked it behind her ear instead. “I do too.”
He found himself driving by Dermamania even though it wasn’t on his way home. It looked busy and Ghost’s car was there, but Starla’s wasn’t. Even if it had been, what would he have done? Nothing. She probably wouldn’t even want to talk to him. But if she was there, at work with her friends, he would know she was okay. That she wasn’t working when the place looked wrapped up with clients disturbed him.
Still, he drove home, where the only company he had was his animals outside. He ran his horses for a while, but all too soon the sun went down, and he was forced to face the empty house alone. Eating alone. Netflix alone. Empty bed. This house had never been so empty, not even after Shelly left. Starla’s presence was just so bright and vibrant. It felt as if a light had gone out.
He flung his remote control aside and tossed over onto his back, cramming the heels of both hands into his eyes. Dammit.
He couldn’t go through this again.
Chapter Twenty-seven
“I love it, girl. Love it.”
Grinning, Starla popped off the top of a beer. “Sorry I don’t have any furniture but my bed.”