But it also reminded me of the difficulty of the situation that I find myself in right now.
I never thought, when I started this thing with Vaughn, that it would move beyond anything other than sex for him. I knew I was falling for him; it’s impossible not to. But, when he said he wanted people to know about us, it made me realize that, when he’d said he was serious about me, he really meant it.
Honestly, in that moment, I panicked. I acted like a coward. I used a half-truth to keep things the way they were, keep our relationship hidden from the world.
I don’t know how to tell him the truth about my situation. If I can tell him the truth. I trust him, but telling him…explaining it is a whole different story, and it would also mean putting him in a position that I don’t want him to be in. But, if he finds out any other way, he won’t understand. He’ll be hurt, and I don’t want that either.
So, for now, until I can figure this out, it’s best to keep our relationship as it is—between us.
I need to talk to Nick. He’ll know the best way to handle it. I just don’t seem to have time to call him at the moment. Between nights spent with Vaughn and going out on the odd occasion with Ava and Logan to see the sights of Vegas, we’ve been filming nonstop.
Filming has stepped up, as Vaughn has a three-day break in his filming schedule coming up.
Apparently, it was written into his original contract. I found out about it from Ava when I got the shooting schedule for next week, but she doesn’t know why he’s off or where he’s going in those three days.
And I don’t know because he hasn’t told me. He hasn’t even mentioned that he’ll be gone for three days, which has left me feeling a little weird. I mean, why hasn’t he told me where he’s going? But I’m not going to ask him. I’m going to wait and see if he tells me.
I’m on set now. We’re out in the desert, and it’s nighttime.
They’re filming a scene where Vaughn’s character, Drew, and Natasha’s character, Lexi, are burying a body in the dead of night in the desert. Natasha’s character killed someone, and she called Drew to come help her.
We already filmed those scenes back in the hotel yesterday. Now, we’re filming the burying-the-dead-body scene. I spent most of the day getting Vaughn’s clothes ready for it. He needs sets of the same suit but in different degrees of dirtiness.
As he won’t actually be burying the body, he won’t get as dirty as his character would, so I had to prepare five different suits, dirtying them up to varying standards with blood from the dead guy when he’s lugging the body around and dirt from the digging.
They’re getting ready to film. Vaughn and Natasha are in makeup, but I need to go get him from there, as it’s time to put him in his first suit of the night. I also said I’d retrieve Natasha for Logan, as he’s just putting some final touches on the dress she’ll be wearing for the first part of filming. I have no clue where Ava is. She went to go get coffee, and she hasn’t come back yet.
I step out of the wardrobe trailer, and the heat hits me immediately. It’s nine p.m., and it’s boiling. I’m just glad I’m dressed in jean shorts and a T-shirt. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like for Vaughn wearing those suits. He’ll be melting.
I head over to makeup, knock on the door, and step inside. But Vaughn and Natasha aren’t there.
“Where are Vaughn and Natasha?” I ask Grace, one of the makeup artists. “They’re needed for wardrobe.”
“Oh, they’re out on set with Brandon. He wanted to go over some things with them before they started shooting.”
“Cool. Thanks.”
I head back out of the trailer and around the back, heading for the set, which is lit up with floodlights, and the car Vaughn’s character drives the dead body out here in is set in position.
People are milling around on set, but I don’t see Vaughn, Natasha, or Brandon.
I head over to John, one of the camera crew guys, who’s setting up his camera. “Hey, John.” I smile.
“Hey, Charly.”
“Have you seen Vaughn and Natasha? I need them for wardrobe.”
“Coffee.” He jerks his head in the direction of the catering van.
“Thanks.”
I head toward the van, coming up to the side, where I hear Vaughn and Natasha talking before I see them.
“So, not long till Sasha’s wedding then?” Natasha says.
I know Sasha is one of Vaughn’s sisters, but I didn’t know she was getting married.
“I bet she’s getting excited. I remember what I was like in the run-up to my and Carter’s wedding.”
“Yeah, she’s driving my mom nuts. Bridezilla at its worst.”
“Are you taking Charly with you?” she asks in a lower voice.
The mention of my name makes my feet stop just before I’m about to round the corner.
Natasha knows about us? He never told me that.
“I don’t know. I haven’t mentioned it to her.”
“You haven’t told her that your sister’s getting married?”
“No. Why?”
She laughs. “God, you men are clueless. Do you want to take her with you?”
I hold my breath, waiting for his response.
“I don’t take women home.”
“Yeah, I know that. But I didn’t ask if you took women home. I asked if you wanted to take Charly home with you.”
There’s a long pause.
His lack of a response makes my chest ache. I rub a hand to the spot.
Then, Natasha speaks again, “Well, if you do decide you want to ask her to go with you, don’t leave it much longer because, otherwise, she’ll feel like you just asked her as a last-minute choice.”
I don’t want to hear any more, so I trace my steps back and go around the back of the van.
I stop at the other side and paste a smile on my face, shrugging off the hurt I’m feeling.
Then, I step out. Vaughn’s eyes instantly come to me. He smiles at me. That secret smile he always gives me, one that usually turns me to jelly…not this time though.
“I need you in wardrobe,” I say to him, fake smile on. Then, my eyes move to Natasha. “Natasha, Logan asked me if I would bring you along, too.”
“Sure thing,” she says, tossing her coffee in the trash.
Vaughn follows suit, tossing his coffee.
And we all walk over to wardrobe, Natasha and Vaughn talking over their upcoming scene while I totally zone out.
His sister’s getting married, and he didn’t tell me. Okay, that’s not such a massive thing because he’s a man, and men don’t think like women.
But Mr. I Don’t Take Women Home doesn’t want to take me with him? Well, okay, he didn’t exactly say that. But he didn’t say he wanted to take me either. He didn’t say anything.
I mean, rationally thinking, he probably hasn’t asked because I pushed to keep us a secret, and if I go to his sister’s wedding, we definitely wouldn’t be a secret…which brings me to the fact that Natasha knows!
How many other people has he told?
And why do I feel so weird and bent out of shape about this?
Why is it bothering me so much that he hasn’t asked me to his sister’s wedding?