Wardley took a deep breath, choking on a sob.
“And gods, did I love her. I began bringing her gifts, leaving them at her door. I wrote her letters, and she wrote me back, sharing stories of the sea, fairy tales of flying boys, talking animals, and wondrous creatures of the deep. My letters were confessions of love. Hers were stories, though her affection for me grew in each stroke of her pen. She was lonely. The King of Hearts treated her terribly, as did Cheshire. The king forced her to become what he wanted in a daughter—someone who would someday be a meek queen, silent and content to let her father do the ruling. He was sculpting her into everything you could and would never be.
“You and I, we went into the Black Towers like foolish children on a treasure hunt, and for that the king beheaded Faina, her mother. I will never forgive myself for causing her that pain. After that, Alice told me the truth—where she was from, her real name, and the vague inkling that the king was planning something sinister. She tried, so many times, to befriend you, and you—you stubborn, wicked girl—would have none of it. She could have been a sister, an ally, and you made her your enemy, though she never viewed you that way.”
Dinah could take no more. Hearing of their love was like a black root twisting into her brain, each curl penetrating into her deepest secrets and desires. He had lied to her. So many lies, she couldn’t even trace where they began. Everything she believed about her life had been untrue, and now the tapestry of her existence was nothing more than a pile of string. All those imagined passions between her and Wardley—they were nothing now. Anger rose inside her. Dinah had told herself to be patient, to listen, but she felt a pressing and silly need to defend herself. Wardley needed to know.
“She stole my crown. She took the crown made for me and wore it upon her head. She was a stranger, and you knew it!”
Wardley leaped to his feet with a roar, the chains rattling in front of him.
“She never wore your crown! She never wanted the crown, never! All she longed for was a quiet life by the sea—with me!”
He took a deep breath, and it seemed to Dinah that he hadn’t taken one in a while. A smile crept over his face and he closed his eyes.
“We began meeting, in secret. It was like coming home, only my home was her hair—which smelled like salt water and honey. With her, I was completely at rest. Completely myself. Whenever we could manage it, we would stay together until the sun rose in the west, tangled together, in sweat and tenderness. In love.”
A sharp corkscrew was turning into Dinah’s chest now, silver and hard. She ached with longing for this to be her story, but it wasn’t.
“I loved her more than I’ve ever loved anything, or anyone. It was as if my soul had taken residence in her body. That day, when you found Charles thrown out the window, Vittiore woke me from slumber and told me that the king was in a fury, telling people that you killed the prince. I ran to the stables to meet you—”
“And you sent me off. Into the Twisted Wood, alone.”
“Dinah, I couldn’t leave her! I knew you didn’t kill Charles, but if the King of Hearts was willing to kill his own son, what would he do to Vittiore—to my Alice? I couldn’t leave her behind, defenseless. But as you rode away, as I lay bleeding on the stable floor, a part of me was ripped away. My loyalty was torn. I felt I had done something shameful.”
His brown eyes met hers, and Dinah’s guilt was overwhelming as she saw the pain in them. The pain she had caused with the single stroke of a sword. A pain that she could see now would never be forgiven.
“You were my best friend, like a sister. I knew that you wanted me to be more, but since the day I saw Alice, I have never been able to even see another woman. Dinah, I was destroyed when you left. I kept imagining you lost, alone in the Twisted Wood. I stopped sleeping. My nights were filled with the joy of Alice’s lips, but my days were torturous, thinking I’d betrayed you, my queen. When Cheshire approached me with a plan to convince the Spades to join your side, I leaped at the chance. I should never have sent you out on your own, without my protection.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Of course, now I would have fed you to that white bear myself. Alice told me to go. She promised she would wait for me.”
His mouth trembled with anger. Tears dripped down his cheek as he screamed in her face.
“Do you understand? I left her for you! We both knew that we couldn’t stay together once you became queen, and I became king, but I could no more avoid her than I could stop breathing. I love . . . loved her. Then you came that night. . . .”
The wind howled, and the trees of the Twisted Wood answered with a low moan, a sound that Dinah knew well. She turned for just a moment. Wardley moved swiftly, pushing his chained wrists out from his body and leaping forward, knocking her to the ground. The man she loved was on top of her now, the irons of his chains pulled tight against her bare neck. Dinah choked as she stared up at him.
“You killed her . . . the woman I loved! You cut off her head because you couldn’t have me, and couldn’t love me, even though there are thousands of men in Wonderland who would have you!”
Dinah began to struggle, her hands reaching for his face.
“You burned her body! You burned her eyes, her curls, my Alice! Now I can’t even say good-bye. You took everything from me!”
His tears dripped on her face, and Dinah stopped struggling. She dropped her arms to the ground and lifted her neck.
“Do it,” she coughed, barely able to speak. “Do it. I deserve it.”
She would rather die than face the pain she had caused him. The world around her began to fade into spotty blackness as the chain pressed harder against her throat.
Wardley was looking down at her now, his face contorted with pain as he pushed the life out of his best friend. Finally, with a loud cry, he sat back and jerked her up to a sitting position, the chains still around her neck. Ki-ershan stood silently nearby. Ki-ershan had let this happen to her, because she needed it. Wardley needed it. The love of her life began sobbing into his open hands.
“Why? Why did you do this to me? You were my best friend. I would have gladly died for you.”
Dinah rolled over and put her head against his knees.
“I love you, Wardley,” she whispered. “I wish I could say more, but . . . I love you. I’m so sorry. I know you will never forgive me, but know that I will live with the guilt over the pain I caused you both for the rest of my life.”
Wardley brought his elbow across her nose, and Dinah felt blood begin to run down her face as her nose went numb. Hatred contorted his face as he hissed damning words at her.
“You are just like your fathers. Both of them. You are the worst of both of them. I see you now for who you really are.”