“Getting him to eat anything healthy was like pulling teeth,” she told me like she was sharing just any tidbit of information with anyone from friend to stranger. “I gave up about six days into our marriage.”
“Thank fuck,” Logan muttered.
Okay.
Hmm.
I didn’t know what to think about that.
What I did know was that I wasn’t sure I was up for a trip down the memory lane of their marriage even if that marriage wasn’t full of joy, love, and laughter.
I said nothing, just aimed a noncommittal grin to Deb as we moved to the cash register.
There, Logan made it clear he was paying for all of us. Deb made it clear she didn’t think that was necessary and offered to pay. They had a mild fight.
And I didn’t know what to think about that either.
To end it, I said to Deb, “Sorry, but I’m a little hungry and I know you have to get back to work, so do I, so why don’t we let Logan pay and if we do this again, we can take turns.”
“Good idea,” she replied on another natural smile and headed to the salad bar.
We got our food. We took our seats, me pinned in our side of the booth by Logan.
And after taking them in, I didn’t know what to think about the state of our trays.
After getting his tray, Logan didn’t even bother walking the salad bar. He went straight to the hot stuff at the end. Therefore, he had a bowl of chili, a plate full of nachos, two pieces of corn bread, three garlic sticks, and four cups—one filled with pound cake, one filled with whipped cream, and two filled with vanilla pudding.
Halfway through the salad bar, I’d given up on the plate idea since I was piling it on so my salad dripped off the sides. I also had two garlic sticks and two cups, one filled with pound cake, one filled with pudding topped with whipped cream.
Deb’s salad was an eighth the size of mine; she apparently was using cottage cheese as dressing (about a tablespoon of it) and she also had two dessert cups. One filled with pineapple, one filled with strawberries.
I’d never had an issue about my body or the food I ate. This was because my parents didn’t have an issue with either. They gave us healthy food. We were also free to eat whatever treats we wanted. And they complimented us frequently on a variety of things, including telling me and Dot we were beautiful.
Further, I’d garnered male attention from early on. Not any of those males seemed to have a problem with my curves.
Primary to this was hooking up with Logan at an early age.
He’d not only not had a problem with my curves, he showered attention on them. Never had he given me any idea that he wasn’t fiercely attracted to all that was me.
Not even a hint.
But he had two children with Deb, which meant something drew him to her in the first place.
And she was not one thing like me.
“Shit,” he muttered. “They didn’t have taco shells when I went through and just put ’em out. Gonna get some tacos.” He looked to me. “Want some, babe?”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head.
He took off, not bothering to ask Deb because it was clear he knew her answer would be no.
I watched him go, then picked up my fork and started stabbing at my salad, feeling strange.
“You’re not what I expected.”
Deb’s words made me look at her and brace.
“No?” I prompted, even though I didn’t want to and even though I felt the same thing about her but had no intention of sharing that.
She dipped her head my way. “He said you had history, met when you guys were young. I expected total biker babe. Leathers. Harley tees. Stuff like that. Not a class act.”
Well, that was nice.
However.
“Years have gone by, Deb. I’ve changed,” I told her. “I never wore leathers but I used to be top to toe old lady. My cutoffs and halter top days are over but I gotta admit, I kinda miss them.”
She shrugged through a grin. “Life surprises us. Stuff happens, we change. Not that I’m saying if you showed all biker babe, I’d think anything bad,” she assured me quickly. When I nodded, she continued, “No matter what, seeing what I saw, it’d be good because that was cool.”
“Sorry?” I asked, not knowing what she meant.
“You. High. Seeing him laugh like that. I swear, Millie, never saw that.” She smiled. “He said you made him happy. He didn’t lie.”
Suddenly, the depth and breadth of my salad didn’t enter my mind.
“Never?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Nope. No wonder Cleo likes you. She and High are close. Two peas in a pod. You make him laugh like that, she’ll love you to the end of time.”
That felt good.
But.
“Things haven’t been...” I hesitated and decided to say,“such that I’ve had many chances to make Logan laugh like that around the girls.”
Or at all.
She nodded and speared a spinach leaf. “I hear that. Princess Zadie.” It was then she shook her head. “Love that girl but so does High. If he could build her a princess castle that had turrets that reached to the clouds, he would. He’d do the same for Cleo but she’s got her feet on the ground and she thinks of other people as well as herself. She knows not even to ask because doing it might break her dad’s back. Zadie’s thought process doesn’t go that far.”
I decided not to respond to that.
“She gets there, though,” Deb assured me, finishing with, “Eventually.”
“It’s really kind of you to wade into all this,” I told her.
She’d shoved the spinach leaf into her mouth while I was talking so she flicked her fork out to the side when I was done.
Once she swallowed, she said, “This kind of thing is the way it is now. Families aren’t like they used to be. Don’t know, didn’t live back in the fifties where women had zero choice, even if they were stuck in a marriage that wasn’t working. But my guess is, this way is better. People adjust and if they don’t know how to do that, they should learn. We’re adjusting.” She shrugged. “Making a new family for the girls.”
I tried not to look like I was staring at her.
But.
Could she honestly be this cool?