“You do know, Snooks,” I said quietly, “that you teaching her that lesson, one that will be hard to learn, when I came into her life means she’ll associate that hard knock with me.”
“She can’t sort her head out and see that her father’s happy. Fuckin’ unbelievably happy. Straight up, no shit fuckin’ with that, for the first time since she’s been breathin’, know that comes from me havin’ her, her sister, and you, and she doesn’t want that for me and holds a grudge against you, then I failed at teachin’ her to learn that lesson right.”
I couldn’t argue that.
But I wasn’t even thinking of arguing that.
I asked, “You’re unbelievably happy?”
“Baby, are you back?”
Oh God.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Millie, I was given one good thing in my life, the family I was born into. I found one good thing, my Club. I made two good things, my babies. But in all my life, I only earned one good thing. That’s you.”
Oh God.
Feeling so much, I could do nothing but continue to whisper, “Low.”
“I’m gonna fix this, beautiful. I promised myself I’d fix you when I got you back and this is part of that. I’m gonna fix it and I’m gonna do it how I gotta do it. But it’ll get done.”
“I...?okay, Logan,” I agreed shakily.
“Want you touchin’ base today. You wanna call, do it. You wanna text, do it. Don’t matter I have the girls and they might hear or see. But I wanna hear from you and know you’re thinkin’ about me.”
“Oh, I’ll be thinking about you.”
He fell silent.
I didn’t.
“I love you, Logan Judd. I earned a lot of things in my life, worked hard for them, but the most precious of those is you. And I’ll say right now that you come with your girls. So I’ll do what I can to help you with Zadie. Do we have a deal?”
I heard the smile in his voice when he replied, “We got a deal, babe.”
“Okay, I’ll share my exciting day with you sometime today and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Right.”
“And, Logan?” I called.
“Right here,” he answered.
“Nothing wrong with dreaming. But you got it right. Best way to dream is do it, then earn it, no matter how that happens.”
“Damn straight,” he muttered, still sounding like he was smiling.
“Okay, have fun with your girls. Love you.”
“Back at ya.”
“?’Bye, baby.”
“?’Bye, beautiful.”
We disconnected and that didn’t make me happy.
But we disconnected having a plan. A plan that centered around building a new dream.
Logan had been right. He said if he’d been around when I found out I couldn’t give us a family, he would have helped me build a new dream.
It took time.
But now he was doing it.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Kitties Who’re Really Pretty
High
HIGH STOOD LEANING against the kitchen counter in the RV, watching his girls scarf down cereal in preparation for hitting school.
Yesterday, he hadn’t gotten in Zadie’s face about whatever went down with Millie. He’d just told them their plans with Millie were off.
Cleo looked disappointed but also relieved. She was likely disappointed for him because she’d seen he’d been happy the day before. But she’d been relieved because Millie was right. Even Cleo needed a break.
That sucked and it meant Millie was right about something else.
He was pushing too fast, too soon.
But Zadie had smiled her cat-got-its-cream smile. She tried to hide it but it was clear she thought she’d gotten her way.
His baby girl was not going to get her way.
Though High had no clue how to go about doing it. He just knew he had one shot at giving Millie any kind of family. Maybe not of her blood but something that was still beautiful.
And because of that, he had to pull out all the stops.
“Before you go to school, got somethin’ I wanna tell you,” he said.
Cleo looked from her cereal bowl to him, attentive as usual.
Zadie looked to him, happily encased in the knowledge things had gone her way.
She grinned and asked, “What, Daddy?”
He stayed where he was and replied, “Worried you’re too young to share this with you. Worried you’re too young to get it. But it’s important enough I gotta give it to you.”
Cleo’s attentive look went guarded.
His baby’s eyes narrowed as the first suspicion she might not have gotten away with being a snot started to hit her.
High ignored that and kept talking, hoping the way he was going to share what he had to share would hit somewhere in Zadie she understood.
“Long time ago, I walked into a party and saw the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. Fell in love with her right then and there. Fell in love the minute I locked eyes on her.” He looked between his girls and went on, “Millie did the same.”
Zadie’s mouth got hard.
Cleo stared at her dad.
“For three years we lived happily,” High told them, and looked to Zadie. “But we didn’t live happily ever after.”
When he said no more, Cleo asked quietly, “What happened, Daddy?”
High turned his eyes to his eldest. “We both wanted a family. We both wanted kids real bad. Knew it before I had it with you two that you were the only things I wanted on this earth. My own babies. Kids I could love and help to grow up strong and good. Millie wanted that too. We talked about it all the time. Had names picked out and everything. Out of the blue, she split with me and it was over.”
“That wasn’t very nice,” Zadie snapped.
“It was,” High disagreed. “It was the most generous gift anyone could give seein’ as she found out she couldn’t have babies and she made it so I could go on in my life and have you.”
Zadie blinked.
Cleo’s mouth fell open.
“Best Millie can do is have cats,” High told his girls. “She wanted more. A lot more. We were gonna have tons of kids. Four. Five. Boys. Girls. We didn’t care. Now all she’s gonna have is cats.”
Cleo’s lower lip started trembling so she bit it.