My muscles are sluggish and my thoughts are slow, like I’m dreaming while being aware.
“...could have been the Riot.” It’s Eli. I’d know that serious-as-a-freshly-dug-grave voice anywhere.
“I’ve thought of that,” says Cyrus. “I flipped through the police reports on the other truck robberies. This hit was different. In the other incidents, they attacked as soon as the driver got out. In this hit, they waited too long and they waited for Pigpen and Man O’ War to be out of range—for you and Razor to be alone.”
“Think the Riot knows the detective talked to Razor?” Eli asks.
“I sure as hell hope not,” Cyrus answers. “If so, our boy has a huge target on his back I’m not sure we can erase.”
Erase...
Erase...
Erase... The word seems important. It referred to another word, another idea that also felt critical, but it fades with a hand that grips the back of my neck and lifts my head.
“Drink, son.” It’s a voice that’s familiar. Low. Rough. “You need to drink.”
Sounds like my dad, but Dad hasn’t given a shit about me in weeks. Gotta be one more jacked-up dream in the line of dozens.
Something grazes my lips and cold liquid sinks down my throat. When my head rests against the pillow again, the pain slips away and I finally can sleep...
There’s a caress across my forehead and my hair moves with it. I should open my eyes. It’s what the soft voice is insisting I do, but instead I attempt to shift again. I want to sleep on my side. Maybe then, I can sleep deep without the dreams.
“Has he responded to you at all?” the soft voice says, and I angle my head to the sound. It’s Oz’s mom—Rebecca. She’s nursed me back to health several times in my life. Damn—when the hell did I get sick?
“What he’s doing now?” Dad says. “He turns his head toward whoever’s speaking.”
“What did you give him?” Rebecca asks.
There’s an answer I can’t discern and Rebecca curses. “I told you Tylenol. You fucking men drive me crazy. Give him any more of that and I’ll castrate all three of you. He’s always been sensitive to drugs, or do none of you remember his appendix surgery? I should shoot you. Lord knows there’s enough guns in this place that I can find a spare.”
“We gave him something different,” Cyrus says. “We gave him—”
Rebecca cuts him off with a “Fuck each of you,” then descends into another rant.
I almost died after the appendix surgery. I was six and Dad said Mom rocked me in an ICU room for hours begging me to wake up. I’m allergic to some shit. Something I should remember but can’t as the need to sleep threatens to drag me under a black veil.
There’s another brush of fingertips across my face and Breanna appears in my mind. The bed dips with her weight and she touches my hand. “Thomas, I need you to open your eyes.”
Thomas. I told her to call me Razor, but I like the idea of her saying my real name. My hand twitches as I capture hers. She’s here and I want her to stay. Everyone else can leave and I need her to lie beside me. Maybe then I can sleep. Deeply.
“That’s right,” Breanna says again, but she sounds off—more like Rebecca, but it’s her hazel eyes that bore into mine. “Come back to us. You did great with taking my hand, but I need you to open your eyes.”
Damn, I’m trying, but they’re glued shut.
“We need to take him in.” There’s an edge in Breanna’s tone and also a hint of fear. I don’t like her scared. Not with me. I rub my thumb over her skin. Don’t be scared with me.
“There’s no way to hide the gunshot wound,” Eli says. “The hospital will call the police. Razor understood what he was taking on when he agreed to let us patch him here.”
“You’re putting him through this to save an account with your company?” she spits.
“I’m doing this because we don’t want the police to know he’s been hit. It’ll be public information then. Fuck the company. This could be the Riot, and I will not have them thinking he’s weak. If they think that, I might as well sign his death certificate now.”
“He’s our family, Eli! Basically my son! I can’t let him die because of an allergic reaction!”
“He’s my son, too, my fucking brother, and I’m trying to keep him alive!” Eli snaps, and I grasp firmly on to Breanna’s hand. Damn, I need to open my eyes. Going toe-to-toe with Eli is like playing with a loaded semiautomatic weapon with the safety off.
“You don’t think it’s killing me to see him like this?” Eli yells. “You said the shit we put in the IV would help!”
“I said it might help!” she shouts back. “But he’s not
responding!”
I swallow and it’s like the middle of Arizona in my mouth. “Don’t, Breanna.”
Silence.
“What the hell did he say?” asks Eli.
Another squeeze of my hand. “Open your eyes, Thomas.”
Too many muscles involved in hoisting my lids. I crack them open and blink to force the blobs of color to merge into something recognizable.