Dear Kara,
I know I’m probably the last person you wanna hear from right now, and I know a drunken email is probably not the best way to mend a relationship. I would have sent a real letter but there isn’t enough time. They’ll send you and Vincent to fight again and I think there are things you should know before you go. As for the drinking, well, I was already drunk. I would have liked to sober up some first, but like I said, there isn’t enough time.
You have a child in Puerto Rico, a daughter. I think she’s about ten or eleven. She lives in San Juan, at 559 Concepción. Alyssa took out some of your ova (I think that’s what they’re called) while you were unconscious and put them inside some woman in Puerto Rico when she escaped. She used Vincent’s stuff, so he’s a father too.
I feel terrible because I’m the one who helped Alyssa put you out so she could do this, but I swear on my brother’s grave I had no idea what she planned to do. I thought she just wanted to do some tests. When I found out she was trying to make babies, I got you and Vincent out of there as fast as I could. I didn’t know she was going to put your child inside another woman. She said she wanted to try, but I thought I could stop her. I thought I did. I didn’t know she had actually done it until today.
That’s what I wanted to tell you. I was supposed to go to San Juan today with Delta Force to bring her back here, but we’re not going anymore. There might have been some Russians on their way to get her too. I don’t know if they’re still going after what happened tonight. Your daughter might be in danger if they are. My job was to knock on her door and try to convince her to come back with me so Delta wouldn’t have to take her by force. I think if anyone knocks on that little girl’s door, it should be you, not me or some Russian guy she doesn’t know. Of course, she doesn’t know you either, she has parents, but you’re her mother so she should meet you, not me.
I had it all planned in my head. I had a great story. She would have left with me and we would have gotten to know each other on the plane. Then I could have introduced her to you, you know. I think it would have been better for her if she already knew someone when she met you. I would have liked to see the smile on your face when you found out she was your child. I don’t know. Maybe you wouldn’t have smiled right away, it’s a lot to process, but I would have liked to be there.
I think you’d be a great mother. Well, you’re already a mother, but I think you’d be great with the kid. You can be a little rough sometimes, and you don’t always react well to change, so it might take a little while before you’re comfortable with her, but it’s OK. She’ll need time too because she’ll have lost the only parents she’s ever known if she comes here. Still, once you’ve both gotten used to your new life, I think you’ll be great.
I know what you’re going to say: I should have said something, but I didn’t know about the child. I only knew about the ova. When Alyssa escaped, our friend with no name said he wanted to wait until Alyssa got caught before he told you. I said you deserved to know, but he insisted, so it’s not my fault. I would have told you. In hindsight, it’s probably a good thing I didn’t. You would have been worried for nothing all this time. Ten years is a long time to wonder if someone is making your babies in a lab, somewhere.
I want you to know I’m not a bad person, even if you think I am. I made a mistake. Several mistakes, really. What I did to Vincent is awful. But after that, all I tried to do is help. I saved him after that. That should count for something. I saved you too. I’m not saying we should be best friends, but maybe we could.
When we were training together, all I could think about was you. I wanted you to open up to me. When you didn’t, I felt like I was the one with a problem, like I didn’t deserve you. Now I know it had nothing to do with me, that you just weren’t ready. I wish I had figured that out at the time. I would never have hurt Vincent if I had. I wouldn’t have sent you running into his arms by being so pushy. I realize that now. I know it’s too late for us to be together, especially now that you and Vincent have a child, but I think we’d be good together, even as friends.
Being a parent is a lot of work, and with everything that’s going on, you’re going to be really busy. You could probably use all the help you can get. I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anything. Your daughter isn’t a baby anymore, so I’m not offering to be your nanny, but I could be like a big brother to her. I can give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it. You know, I just want to be there for you.