Anyway, I’m about to try to replicate what I did. I managed to wiggle Themis around so I’m facing in the opposite direction. With any luck, I’ll get frustrated the same way and end up right where I started.
Before I inadvertently blow myself up, I have a message for my wife … Kara, I love you. I’ve had two days to just sit and think about how crazy my life has been since they asked me to sign an NDA and go look at some panels in Chicago. I found myself feeling … grateful. Grateful Rose trusted me. Grateful we found this big-ass alien thing. But the thing I’m most thankful for is meeting this crazy, stubborn pilot with a chip on her shoulder. Kara, none of this would have been as much fun without you taking jabs at me every step of the way. I got to have my legs crushed, got turned into a T-800 … We blew up an airport! I wish we hadn’t killed Rose, but it turned out OK, sorta. Hell, we got to wrestle with aliens! Who gets to do that? Anyway, if I don’t make it, please don’t feel like I was robbed of anything. I lived plenty. I had a blast.
I never got to tell you how sorry I was. I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to be something you weren’t. I’m sorry I made you … dim your light, when all I ever wanted was for it to burn brighter. That sounded good.
I want you to be happy. Find someone. You have my blessing if he’s not a dick … and not too good-looking. Don’t be too happy with him though, but … you know … be happy. Of course, if you can be happy without the guy. Just … I don’t know what I’m saying … I … I don’t want you to be miserable because of me. If I’m dead, I’m dead. You can’t hurt me. Do what you need to do. I won’t be looking down on you from the heavens. I doubt they take pretentious assholes with an accent, and you know how much I’m afraid of heights.
I guess that’s it. Oh! Almost forgot! If you find Themis and I’m dead, you might want to clean the floor right behind your station. Seriously, give it a good scrub.
OK. Here we go! Hold. Two. Two. Release. I love that sound. Two. Go. Nope.
Hold. Two. Two. Release. Two. Two. Go … Nope.
Release. Two … I just did that. Let’s do this again. Ho—
…
Ah ben calver! It worked! I moved again! It’s still dark, so I must not be too far from where I was. I have no idea what direction I’m moving in, but I’m moving! I can do this!
Kara, forget everything I said about meeting someone. Screw him. I’m gonna make it.
Hold. Two. Two. Release …
FILE NO. 1539
INTERVIEW WITH RYAN MITCHELL, SECURITY GUARD
Location: Michigan Science Center, Detroit, MI —How long have you worked here, Mr. Mitchell?
—About a year, sir. Why?
—Do you enjoy your work?
—I … What do you want?
—I sense anger in your tone. Are there unresolved issues we need to discuss?
—Ha! You’re kidding, right?
—Do you believe I am being facetious or was that a rhetorical question?
—I spent four years in jail after I rescued Kara and Vincent!
—Why would you expect otherwise? There were four years left on your sentence for crushing Mr. Couture into a wall with your vehicle. You had to serve the entirety of your sentence after violating the terms of your parole by leaving the state to join Alyssa in Puerto Rico.
—You could have gotten me out, sir.
—The US Government wanted to charge you with treason. You could be meeting your lawyer to appeal your death sentence. Instead, you are scolding children for running inside a museum. I fail to see what you have to complain about.
—You could have gotten me out!
—Let us not waste time pondering what each of us could have done differently, shall we? You and I both know this conversation will not end with any great moral victory on your part.
—Do you know what I talked about at Fort Carson, before I went to Puerto Rico?
—I have a feeling I am about to find out.
—Nothing. I talked about nothing. Rose visited me a few times, but she’s about the only one I talked to. I stayed in my cell as much as I could. They took me to the yard, twice a day, but I mostly kept to myself. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had done to Vincent. I— —Is that really what you thought about?
— … You’re right. I kept thinking about what I had lost, about Kara. I couldn’t … I imagined the way she must have felt about me and I couldn’t stand it. I hated myself. I hated myself for a long, long time. I … I wanted her to like me again. I kept thinking of the ways I could make it up to her, what I could do to make her see me as a human being again, not as a monster. I’d come up with completely insane scenarios in my head. You know, she gets captured by terrorists and I save the day, that sort of thing. Took about a year for me to stop torturing myself and actually face what I did. I still hated myself, but at least I wasn’t living in a fantasy world. It wasn’t about Kara anymore.