Before she could conjure enough bravery to mention the subject, Max glanced at her from over his shoulder. "I hope you like your steak rare. Personally, I prefer when the meat is warm, but tender, easy to slice and chew, the blood running hot and thick against the tongue."
Her smile wavered, dark thoughts a shadow over the enjoyment she should have felt about the evening. “Rare is fine. Just as long as it’s warm and not mooing at me from the table.”
Winking his eye in response to her answer, he turned his back on her again to chop the slab of meat into individual steaks.
“Hey, Max?”
The motion of his hand didn’t stop when she spoke, the rhythmic chopping never paused or faltered when he answered, “Hey, Alice.”
Swallowing down her pride, she squeezed her hands into fists on her lap, her nails cutting ridges into the skin of her palm.
“I need to tell you something.”
The chopping stopped, his head spinning just enough where he could cast a cursory glance at her from over his shoulder. “Cold feet already?”
Soft laughter bubbled up from her lungs. “No, nothing like that. Although,” her voice lowered to a practical whisper, “You might have cold feet after what I have to say to you.”
The cleaver fell heavily on the counter to his side, his entire body turning now so he could give her his full attention.
“I doubt there is anything you can tell me that would cause that to happen. We all have secrets, Alice. Some of us far darker than others.”
Shifting restlessly in her seat, Alice failed to notice the shadows behind his eyes as she clenched and released her hands in her lap, pins and needles shooting along her arms with how hard she curled her fingers.
So focused on her own insecurities, she missed the dark secrets behind his words that should have been the first sign there was more to Max than she knew.
“I assume, and I may be wrong, but I assume you want me to sleep in your bed tonight.”
His eyes were wary, his full lips pulling into a thin line. She wasn’t sure what thoughts were running through his head, or if she’d just invited herself to a place where he hadn’t yet intended for her to go. However, it was a subject that needed attention, regardless. Max had every right to know.
Forcing herself to speak clearly, she finally blurted out, “I have certain issues that I’ve had since I was a young child. Issues that, for the most part, are the reason I don’t speak to my family much anymore.”
Stepping forward, he rested his forearms on the kitchen island, his eyes level with hers when he said, “You have my undivided attention.”
Her eyes closed and she breathed in a steadying breath to ready herself for a conversation that revealed something about herself that only her family, and a psychologist who treated her as a child, had known.
“I don’t sleep like normal people,” she admitted. “From what I know, it wasn’t always that way, but at some point when I was younger the problems started.”
Silence fell between them, her entire body trembling from the fear that he’d reject her as soon as he knew.
“And those issues are?”
His voice was so soft, so hesitant, that she wasn’t sure if he hadn’t already been chased away by her confession.
“I have sleep disorders. Strange ones, and they happen every night no matter what I do. It’s the reason I’ve never really dated, and the reason I’ve always lived alone.”
Max didn’t comment further, just sat patiently with rapt attention on her.
“Have you ever heard of parasomnias? There are multiple types and I, unfortunately, suffer from several of them.”
Beyond nodding his head, he didn’t move otherwise. “Like sleep walking? Stuff like that?”
She swallowed down the churning of her stomach, the acid that had forced its way up her throat. “That’s one of them, yes.”
Where she’d expected concern behind his ice blue eyes, there was interest instead.
“I’ve heard of conditions such as those, but never seen it myself. Why do you feel the need to tell me this?”
Her hands continued wringing nervously in her lap. “Because of the severity. It’s caused problems for me in the past and I wanted to warn you because I didn’t want it to be a surprise if you witness it. I don’t remember most of it because I’m asleep when it occurs, but from what I’ve been told, it can be somewhat bothersome…or scary.”
Pushing up from where he’d leaned over the island, he rounded the side to stand next to her. His hands grabbed the armrests of the chair and swiveled it so that her knees rested between his partially spread legs. They were as close to each other as they could comfortably get with her sitting and him standing.
“Tell me all of it. And don’t worry that I’ll judge you or hold it against you. It’s like I said,” his voice dropped to a darker tone, his eyes shadowing over to a point where the chill of ice blue churned with the dark gray of a thunderstorm. “We all have our secrets. We all have things that we hope those closest to us can accept and understand.”