I grind my teeth, closing my eyes. “Okay. I’m gonna play this smart, I swear.”
Jamie’s quiet for a moment, and then he huffs out a deep breath. I can imagine the look of worry on his face right now, as he paces back and forth in the Widow Makers’ clubhouse. “All right, dude. I’m trusting you,” he says. “Don’t fuck this up. Don’t put the club at risk. And whatever you do, don’t get yourself fucking killed.”
******
The next morning, Harrison drags me out of bed at 6 a.m., and Fernando questions me relentlessly about where I disappeared to with his daughter for four hours. His anger is palpable—the kind you feel like a slap in the face. The man is all over the place. One minute he’s asking me to stay away, the next he’s telling me to take his daughter out into the forest. Now it seems as though we’re firmly back in “stay-the-fuck-away-from-her-asshole” territory.
“I am sure you’ve had a chance to speak to your employer by now, Kechu,” Fernando snaps. “When can we expect his royal highness to arrive?” Fernando grins, baring his teeth, and it’s not a happy grin. It’s a death mask, and I want to smash my fist right fucking through it.
“He’s dealing with a private matter at home,” I say. “He should be here in no more than a week or so.” A week should be enough time for me to get my shit together and make this man dead. A part of me doesn’t know why I’m stretching this out so ridiculously. I could slip into his room at night, one way or another, and put him down the same way I did to Julio. I could wrap the cord from the light pull around his throat right now and strangle the bastard to death; the struggle probably wouldn’t even alert the guys standing guard outside his office. There are a million ways I could get what I want and get the fuck out of here, but I’m dragging my heels. I know I am.
It boils down to the fact that I’m a pleasure delayer. The wait, knowing what’s about to go down, knowing that he won’t see it coming, is almost too sweet and satisfying to turn away from. And now, there’s also Natalia. I fucked her. I shouldn’t have, but I did, and what stands between us isn’t as simple as a casual hookup. I look at her and I feel bottomless. I feel like I’m falling. I feel responsible, and protective, and violently angry all at once. It’s fucking scary.
I’ve avoided feeling this way about a woman since before I was deployed. I don’t want or need to be feeling this way now, but I have no choice in the matter. She’s under my skin, now. I try not to think about what will happen to her when I leave here, because the truth is I just can’t see it. I can’t see me leaving her, period, and I have no idea how the fuck I’m going to make that work.
So fucking dumb.
“A week is too long, Kechu. I’m beginning to think your boss does not respect my time.”
“He does. He’s also a loyal man, though, and he won’t leave his family when they need him. Like you, I imagine. If Natalia was sick, or in some sort of trouble, you wouldn’t leave her side, would you?” I know this is a tricky hand to play as soon as the words are out of my mouth. Fernando’s expression is thunderous.
“You would be wise to leave Natalia out of this, Kechu. Don’t think to use my love for my daughter to excuse your Louis James’s behavior.”
I hold my hands up—I surrender. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to use Natalia. Mr. Aubertin will be here as soon as he can, you have my word.” I don’t give him Jamie’s word, though. He hasn’t given it, and I don’t want to sully his reputation as an honest man. I’m more than happy to give him my word, though. I’ll make promises all day long, and I won’t give a shit about breaking them. Later, when I’m killing the son of a bitch, how will any of it matter anyway?
“All right. You may leave now. Perhaps you ought to get out of the house today, Kechu. We are expecting guests who might not be happy to see you. Word of what happened to William has spread among even more of my clients. These are volatile men with volatile habits. I cannot ensure your safety while they are here.”
“Understood. I’m happy to make myself scarce.”
I am, too. Jamie might have pissed me off, but in fairness he has a point. I should probably have some sort of contingency plan in place, for when the time comes and I need to make a quick exit.