Surprised, I turn to find Sabine approaching from behind. Somehow, she always seems to move silently through the rooms of Whitley, and appears when I least expect her.
“How did you know?” I ask, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Only a crazy person would do something like this, yet Sabine isn’t acting like I’m crazy. She’s calm, she’s quiet, she’s respectful.
“As long as you know the difference between reality and your thoughts, all is well,” she tells me easily, as though she’s a guest at the White Rabbit’s tea table.
I swallow hard because I’m the rabbit.
“He’s at peace now, you know,” Sabine tells me, sitting down next to me. “Demons chased that boy. They don’t now.”
I suck in a breath, glancing at the old woman. “How did you know that?”
She shrugs. “I know things.”
I swallow hard. I sense she knows things. So many things are in her eyes, so many truths. It scares me a little.
“He first started seeing things when we were in kindergarten,” I tell her quietly, my memories bitter in my mouth. “He saw demons. He’s seen them for years. He’s medicated now. I mean, before he died. Sometimes, he forgot to take them…”
Sabine nods and I know she understands. Somehow.
“It’s good for you to be here,” she tells me seriously. “Away from death. Your mother would think so, too.”
I look at her quickly. “You think so?”
“Yes,” Sabine answers. “I knew her well. She’d want you to focus on yourself here without inhaling death in the air. It’d be good for anyone. We absorb the energy that’s around us, you know. Energy never goes away. It just goes from thing to thing to thing.”
That actually makes sense. In fact, it’s a scientific fact. The law of conservation of energy states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change form. Here outside of the house, the energy is quiet and peaceful.
I definitely should absorb some of that.
“Where do you think my brother is?” I ask hesitantly. “If energy can’t be destroyed, I mean.”
Sabine crosses her arms. “You carry him with you,” she says confidently.
I fiddle with my fingers. “I know. I…yes. But where do you think he actually is?”
Sabine looks away, far off into the distance, and when she answers, it’s slow and sure.
“I have many beliefs, Calla. And I’m not sure you want to hear them all. Just know that you’re not alone. You’re never alone.”
I’m not sure if that’s comforting, actually.
But she’s already changing the subject.
“I’m an expert in herbs, Miss Price. I learned from my mother, who learned from her mother, who learned from hers and so on. I can give you a tea to help with your sleep. I wish I would’ve known your brother. I have a feeling I could’ve helped him, too.”
I immediately shake my head. “I don’t think so. Your herbs might’ve interacted with his meds. He took some pretty strong medication. He had some pretty crazy days.”
But then again, I should talk.
“You never know,” Sabine tells me. “But know this. You shouldn’t dismiss your brother as ‘crazy’. People like him, people who suffer from that type of affliction, their minds are open; they don’t see things for what they were supposed to be, they see things for what they are.”
I’m confused now, and a little bemused. “So you’re saying that the demons my brother saw were real?”
Even I can hear the humor and condescension in my voice, and I try to check it. At the very least, Sabine is my elder and I need to respect that. She shrugs.
“Perhaps. Who are we to say?”
“People like Finn are more inclined to trust their intuitions,” Sabine continues. “They’re very intuitive. You should take a page from that book.”
My head snaps around and she chuckles. “No offense intended, of course.”
“Of course,” I murmur.