Olivia’s voice reverberated against the walls, the tone sweet and measured as she sang the first verse of the song Judy Garland made legendary. Alexander closed his eyes, losing himself in the music. For the first time all day, he let himself feel Melanie’s absence. He could almost hear her laugh as she spun and twirled around the room, dancing to “mommy’s music”, her sweet, innocent voice shouting “again, again” after Olivia had finished one song.
He glanced at his wife as she sang the bridge at a languid tempo, her voice becoming strong and impassioned. A memory rushed back, hitting Alexander hard, leaving him almost breathless. They were still living at Alexander’s penthouse on the waterfront in Boston. Olivia had turned his music room into a playroom for Melanie. He was sitting on the couch and Olivia lay on the ground, a play mat and various toys scattered around her as she played with a babbling Melanie. At the time, she wasn’t yet one. She had been taking a few uncoordinated steps here and there, but still hadn’t been able to master the art of walking.
He could almost hear the muddled cheers in his mind that erupted from both his and Olivia’s mouth when Melanie took that first unassisted step, then another, and another, babbling “Dada” as she stumbled toward Alexander, her arms outstretched.
She was always a daddy’s girl, he thought to himself.
He lowered his eyes back to the black and white keys that had become blurry through his tears, the memory of Melanie taking her first steps making his heart ache. He feared that, no matter what he did to get her back home, it wouldn’t be enough. Nothing had gone right since this all started. Now he was at risk of not only never seeing his daughter again, but also losing his wife. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at it, the pain of everything almost unbearable.
When a glimmer caught his eye, he shot his gaze to a sterling silver frame sitting on the corner of the piano. Melanie couldn’t have been more than a week old at the time. He sat in a glider, a little bundle wrapped in a pink blanket in his arms. His forehead was pressed against the baby’s, her body tiny compared to his tall, muscular frame. Alexander was grateful Olivia had captured the moment. In all the months of her pregnancy, it had never sunk in that he was about to be a father. Even after she had given birth, it still didn’t seem real, complications with labor and delivery preventing a true celebration. But once they were released from the hospital with this human who now needed comfort, food, and changing around the clock, it finally set in.
Alexander had never dreamt of starting a family and being a father. He didn’t exactly have the best relationship with his own father when he was alive. He had no desire to repeat the cycle of disappointment. But in that moment, his life changed. He was so moved with a love he had never experienced before, he couldn’t imagine life without the small bundle in his arms.
Now, she was gone.
Tears fell down his face more steadily. He tried to hide them from Olivia. He needed to keep himself together. He couldn’t fall apart in front of her, not when she was about to put her own life on the line.
Consumed by the pain that had been eating away at him all day, he didn’t notice when the music stopped. In an instant, two arms were around him as he struggled to hold himself together.
“I’m sorry,” Alexander whispered, clearing his throat, wishing there were something that could take this pain away. He raised his hands, about to wipe his cheeks, but Olivia grabbed his arms, preventing him from doing so. She peered into his eyes. He could see his own pain staring back at him.
“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “As much as you want everyone to believe you are, you’re not a stone wall incapable of feelings. You’re hurt. You’re angry. You’re lost. Don’t bottle it up, Alex.”
He shook his head and looked away, hating that something as innocuous as a song, a series of notes and rhythms strung together, could be the thing that broke him.
“I need to keep it together. It’s the only way—”
She grabbed his face, forcing him to return his teary eyes to her. Smiling, she kissed his cheek.
“A wise man once told me it’s okay to show weakness.” She winked, reminding him of something he had told her time and time again. “You can’t carry the weight of this alone. Let me help shoulder the burden. You can’t save the world all on your own, ya know.”
“You can’t, either.”
“We’ll see about that.” She smirked, lightening the tension.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Burnham,” Martin interrupted.
Olivia and Alexander looked up to see him standing just inside the room, a grim expression on his face. Her body went rigid, and Alexander grabbed her hand, squeezing it.
“The call just came in. He’s asking for Mrs. Burnham.”
Alexander looked at her, her eyes wide, then addressed Martin. “We’ll be right there.”
“Certainly,” he replied, retreating and closing the door behind him, giving them one last minute of privacy.
Alexander didn’t want to leave this room, but he knew every second counted. There were a thousand things he wanted to tell Olivia in case something went wrong. That he was grateful for everything she’d given him. That he couldn’t imagine anyone else he’d want to share his life with. That he loved her.
Love seemed like a completely inadequate word to properly convey how he felt about Olivia. Four letters strung together were insufficient. He doubted there was a word in any language that would do his feelings for this woman justice.
Without saying a word, she stood up and headed toward the door. Alexander hesitated for a minute, watching her walk away. He prayed it wouldn’t be the last time. He planned to do everything in his power to make sure it wasn’t, but what if that wasn’t good enough?
“Olivia,” he called out, taking purposeful strides toward her.
“Yes?” She turned around.
Before she could react, he held her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers. Her body grew taut, then melted into him.
Through that kiss, he gave her everything he had. Every forgotten apology. Every missed opportunity. Every fight. Every reconciliation. Every up. Every down. Every smile. Every tear. Every day he waited for her to finally walk into his life. He gave her every piece of himself, hoping it would give her the strength to survive this, although he doubted she needed it. His wife had proven to be braver than most men he fought overseas, and he couldn’t be more proud of her.
Pulling back, she peered into his eyes. “What was that for?”
He ran his hands through her hair, a mixture of emotions flowing through him. “I had to, just in case—”
“Shh…” She placed a finger over his lips, silencing him. “You have nothing to worry about. Nothing’s going to happen to me, Alex.”
Dropping his head, he simply nodded, wishing he could ignore the unsettled feeling in his gut that something horrible was about to happen.
Chapter Twenty
December 19
5:05 PM