THE HOUSE WAS TRANQUIL in the early morning hours of Saturday, just like it had been the previous day. But this morning, Alexander carried a weight with him. Ghosts of his past, which he hadn’t thought about recently, had reappeared almost overnight. He wondered whether there was a reason, or if it truly was just a coincidence. He contemplated whether they were trying to teach him some grand lesson about being a better person, about not letting his work consume him, like it had his father. He felt like Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, except his ghosts came in the form of his own subconscious.
Maybe it was the same with Scrooge.
Regret can torture a man, rip him open and bleed him dry for the world to see. In the end, only he could pick up the pieces and put himself back together in the hopes of learning from his past. Alexander had made his fair share of mistakes in life and, over the past twenty-four hours, he’d been forced to come face-to-face with many of them.
A thousand what-ifs ate away at him. If he had done one thing differently, if he had picked up the phone, if he had made more of an effort, if he hadn’t allowed the comfort of being the one signing the paychecks to bewitch him into staying out of the field, maybe things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did.
He pulled his car into the garage, then entered the house with light steps, not wanting to wake anyone. As much as he wanted to take a shower and get back to the office to keep digging around into Mischa’s life, he needed to put his family first today. It was something his father never did and, after Martin’s word of warning, Alexander wanted to make every effort to ensure he hadn’t already made that mistake. It didn’t matter that his father had saved many lives by putting his work first. Years of animosity toward him due to his absence and neglect had ruined whatever relationship they had. Alexander shuddered at the notion that Melanie would someday see him the way he viewed his own father.
As he made his way through the kitchen and toward the formal living room, inhaling the pine tree aroma that reminded him of the holiday season, a welcome feeling of serenity washed over him. A fifteen-foot Christmas tree, surrounded by mountains of presents, sat in front of the large bay window. Several ornaments lay scattered on the floor, most likely the result of Olivia’s cat deciding they were more useful as toys than decorations. After the past few days, he wanted nothing more than to be surrounded by the love of his family, something he should have done yesterday instead of rushing off to the office, just like his father did so many times when he was growing up.
The floorboards of the century-old house creaked below Alexander’s feet. He tried to lighten his steps, not wanting to wake anyone. Saturdays in the Burnham household were generally reserved for sleeping in, then lounging in bed with his wife, daughter, and dog while they watched whatever movie Melanie wanted. Lately, she’d been on a Frozen kick, like every other little girl in the country. Alexander could probably recite the entire movie from memory.
Walking into the formal entry rotunda, he stopped abruptly. An extravagant, yet modern chandelier hung from the vaulted ceiling, the landing of the second floor following the circular shape. Several feet below the chandelier sat a large round table where Olivia displayed a new floral arrangement weekly. Cursing the cat under his breath, he made his way to the table where it looked like Nepenthe had pushed the wreath-shaped centerpiece to the floor. Flowers were all out of place, petals scattered, but it wasn’t ruined.
Squatting down, Alexander picked up the wreath, shaking his head when he noticed several framed photos knocked off one of the small entryway tables, as well. He placed the centerpiece back where it belonged, fixing a candy cane and pine cone that were askew, then continued up the winding staircase to the second floor, leaving the broken photos for the time being.
The tick-tock of the antique grandfather clock in the foyer echoed against the high ceiling, the sound finding its way to the second floor as Alexander walked down the hallway. A purple stuffed bear sat in the corridor. Smiling, he picked it up, then paused outside a white paneled door, placing his hand on it.
Slowly turning the knob, Alexander pushed the door open and snuck into the large square room filled with toys, books, and games. The walls were a shade of yellow Melanie had chosen when they first moved here a few years ago. It was warm and inviting, the one room of the house where there were no rules, where imaginations could run wild. One day, this room was Camelot. The next, it was Emerald City. Then it would be Wonderland. Alexander never knew what world he’d be entering when he stepped over the threshold. Melanie was always full of surprises.
He padded across the plush carpet, making sure to sidestep some sort of arts and crafts project Melanie was apparently in the middle of that lay on the floor. He glanced at the wall above her bed. In just a few years, she’d probably want to replace the Dr. Seuss art hanging there. Instead, there would be a poster of some boy band she’d swoon over as she gossiped on the phone with her friends. Adolescence was coming like a freight train, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. All he could do was treasure the time he had with her while she still believed Daddy was her hero.
He lowered himself onto the edge of her bed, trying to make sure the sudden weight didn’t disturb her. Placing the bear beside her, he leaned down, pulling the fluffy comforter away from her head to give her a kiss. He swiftly shot up, his pulse skyrocketing as he stared at a lumpy pillow where Melanie’s sleeping form should have been. Ripping the covers from the bed, alarm bells went off as he stared at more pillows, giving the appearance someone was lying there when it was distressingly empty.
He dashed from Melanie’s room toward the master suite on the opposite end of the second floor. When they first moved in, Alexander had been uneasy that her room was so far away, but she picked it out as hers, wanting to be able to wake up in the morning and look at the lake on their property. Plus, it gave him and his wife some privacy. Now, a troubled feeling settled in his stomach, heat rolling through his body.
Entering the master bedroom, he prayed Melanie had simply crawled into bed with Olivia in the middle of the night, although she hadn’t done that for quite some time. He stepped closer to the bed, his eyes falling on Olivia’s sleeping form. Melanie wasn’t there.