Levi outbids me, and I counter. I've been studying Fen's financials and his realm's affairs for a few weeks now, and I feel like I have a good handle on what he can afford. We've got this. I hope.
Levi finally stops bidding, and I am declared the new owner of the girls. I command my own guards, Marco and Roco, to escort the girls back to the castle safely, and to arrange for Kara and Julian to care for them. Marco argues with me, but I insist I'll be fine without him, and Kayla promises she and Baron will keep me safe, so he finally, reluctantly agrees.
The crowd disperses and I take a deep breath, adrenaline still pulsing through me. "Does that happen often?"
"When there are new prisoners of war taken, which happens fairly often, or when someone of nobility dies, which happens much less often," she says. "Vampires aren't easy to kill, but it is possible. Fae aren't too easy to kill either, for that matter."
"And Shade?" I ask.
"In some ways, we're the hardest to kill of all." She winks at me and I smile, but it fades quickly when I think about what we just witnessed.
"How can you stand it, seeing your own people auctioned off like cattle?" I don't mean for my question to sound judgmental, but she snaps back anyway.
"They aren't my people. The Fae hate Shades. They would kill all vampires, half my blood family, if they could. My mother was Fae, yes. She spent her days washing floors on her knees and her nights with men she despised. She never fought for herself. For her family. She was weak. I can't be weak. I don't fit into either world, but at least here, with Fen, I am accepted and given a place of respect. That wouldn't be true in the Outlands, or anywhere else. So I take what I can, and I do my best to live my life with some manner of peace."
I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. Instead, I lay my hand on hers and squeeze. It's a silent show of support. A way to say that even though I am confused and conflicted about the rules of this world, I still care about her and accept her as she is. It's the best I can do, but it seems to be enough.
We return to the booth, and I select a ruby necklace lined with silver and diamonds. Then we head back to the forge, and as the day progresses, I notice a subtle shift in my relationship with Kayla. I'm no longer assigned to sweeping floors and putting away tools. It's as if I've somehow proven myself to her.
She finally begins to teach me the craft of blacksmithing. "You'll start with your first sword," she says. "I'll help you make it, from beginning to end. It's the only way to learn."
And so we start with iron, and turn it into steel. And the process begins. A true alchemy. Like the iron, I am becoming something new. Something I don't quite understand.
I have felt it for a few weeks now, but haven't had the words to articulate it. There's something in me pushing to be free. A raw power, trapped by training, by my world, by my past. But I am growing. I am shaping my body and mind just as surely as I'm shaping my sword from steel. Soon, I will become something new.
***
That night over dinner, Fen waits for me to broach the subject of the slaves I acquired. "I assume you've heard," I say, sipping my drink and watching his body language across the table.
He stares at his dinner as he talks. "Indeed. I think all the realms have heard at this point."
"I take it Levi isn't happy?"
Fen snorts. "Levi is never happy. It's a byproduct of his curse. I do think envy is the worst of all the seven sins. To never be content with what you have. To always covet what others possess. Miserable way to live."
"Are you angry?"
Finally, he looks up at me, his piercing blue eyes holding mine. "Should I be?"
I shrug. "I have no idea. You don't share much these days."
"I am not mad, Arianna. I admire what you're trying to do. But you must know, you can't save them all. That's not the way this world works. There's more to our history than you understand."
I bristle at that. "I've been doing my research. Kal has been helping me understand."
He shakes his head. "You can research the history of this world, but you can't know what I lived through. You can't know through words what I have learned through blood."
I exhale at that, my body slumping in my chair. "I have to try, Fen. I have to at least try to help the people who need it."
For the first time in weeks he reaches his hand out to mine and holds it in his. The warmth and strength of him pulses through me, and my fingers run over the raised demon mark on his wrist, memorizing the curves and patterns. His curse. His duty.
A heavy silence fills the space between us, connects us together in a palpable way. I breathe him in, feel his pulse, revel in all the unspoken words between us. There's so much I want to say. So much I want him to understand, and so much I want to know.
I'm about to try, about to open my mouth, and my heart, and tell him what I'm feeling, when a young man bursts in to the dining area. He bows, then hands Fen a parchment sealed in wax. "I was told to deliver this to you immediately, Your Highness."