I haven’t stepped a foot out of the house since Mom grounded
me yesterday. Not for lack of trying. I begged, groveled, cried, and slammed doors, but Mom stood her ground. I can’t even
sneak out when she’s asleep, because she’s tweaked the house
alarm system to go off if any doors or windows are opened.
So I stay at my laptop, frantically searching the Web for any
morsel of wisdom. Some hint of a message sent from some
distant cosmic portal that Lawrence will be okay. As the early
hours of the morning snake by, I vacillate between despair and
hope, confidence and despondency.
It isn’t until the sound of my opening door wakes me that I
realize I’d fallen asleep facedown on the desk, one arm flung
across my keyboard. The brightness of morning assails me. I sit
up with a start and gasp at the sharp cramp in my neck.
Mom’s standing in the doorway. “Good grief, Cass. Were you
up all night IMing with your boyfriend?” She sighs with frustration. “I should have thought to take your computer.”
“First of all, no one calls it ‘IMing’ anymore. But anyway, no.
Don’t worry. He doesn’t even have a computer.”
Mom frowns. “Then what were you doing?”
“Does it matter? I didn’t leave my room.” I swallow any more
snarky comments. I have to be smart. I have to play my cards
perfectly right now.
“Mom,” I begin, keeping my tone calm and even. “I’ve been
doing a lot of thinking, and I’m hoping you will be willing to make a compromise with me. If you let me stay home today, I’ll—”
“No way,” she says, shaking her head. “You’re coming sailing. That much is decided. We can discuss the terms of your grounding later, but as far as today is concerned, there’s no
getting out of it.”
“But
Mom—”
“I’m sorry, Cassandra. You can’t change my mind on this.
Frank and I talked a lot about it last night, and we think some
family time is exactly what you need.”
“I’ll have all the family time you want. Just not today. Please
trust me when I say that today, of all days, it’s extremely important for me to be able to stay home.”
She smiles a little. “Everything feels extremely important
when you’re a teenager. You trust me. It’s not as earth-shattering as it may seem.”
Her condescending tone makes my toes curl. “It’s not fair.”
“This is what happens when you lie to me.”
“I never—”
“Stop.” Mom gives me the I-mean-business point with her
finger. “We’re done talking about this.” She starts to close my
door, and I jump to my feet.
“Mom, please!”
She sighs. “Cassandra, will you relax? It’s not like he’s going
to disappear if you don’t see him for one day.”
The cruel irony of her words takes my breath away.
“Get dressed,” she says firmly. “We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
Chapter 31
Lawrence
T he first hours of my final day pass like years. After walking the silent house, I finally settle again in my room.
I know it’s not inherently any safer in there, but where else can I go?
Words won’t come to me so I don’t write. Sleep abandoned me long ago so I don’t lie on my bed. All I can do is sit on the cold floor and listen. Listen for Ned to return home, for raised voices—anything. But the house remains
unbearably still.
Dawn finds me on my balcony. I’m wrapped in a blanket, but even that doesn’t keep out the chill. The sight of the rising sun has never looked so bleak or filled me with such untenable dread. I fall to my knees, pressing my forehead to the marble balcony, unable to stand it all.
Cassandra, I need you. I need you with me.
I stay like that, drifting in and out of restless sleep, until the sun has climbed and brushes the tops of the trees in
the garden. I awake with a start. A feeling of urgency grips
me. I should be doing something. Anything to stop the