on Saturday. So today and tomorrow is our last, safe, fortyeight-hour period. We have to make it count.”
“Make it count?” Lawrence repeats, looking at me with a
hopeful smile.
I shove him. “You know what I mean.”
“Killjoy,” he says glumly.
I start gathering the papers from last night. “Is everything
still going as planned with the party Saturday? Nothing out of
the ordinary?”
He starts to shake his head but stops. His brow furrows. He’s
quiet, as if he’s wrestling with an idea.
“Lawrence?” I touch his arm. “What is it?”
“Well…something happened.”
Fear unfolds in me. “What?”
“It didn’t have anything to do with Cooper Enterprises.”
“Okay. So tell me.”
Lawrence shakes his head. “It seems like madness to
even suggest.”
“Spit it out, Lawrence. You’re scaring me here.”
“See if you learn anything about the Cartelli family from
New York. Lower East Side.”
What’s with the sudden shifty eyes? “Okay…”
He releases a slow sigh. “See if the name Fay Cartelli comes up.”
“Fay Cartelli. Got it.” He doesn’t look at me. I draw a little
swirl in the sand, trying not to feel suspicious. “So, who is
she?”
His cheeks flush with color. “Have I never mentioned her?”
“You haven’t.”
“She’s a…friend of mine.”
My heart drops. “A friend.”
He seems uncomfortable. “Essentially… Perhaps a bit more.”
I want him to be joking, but I can tell he’s not. I try desperately to keep calm. “Oh.”
“Cassandra, it’s not like it sounds.”
“So, she’s not your girlfriend?”
“No…not exactly.”
“What does that mean? ‘Not exactly.’”
He rubs the bridge of his nose. This time, his silence tells me
everything I need to know. I push to my feet. Lawrence jumps
up after me.
“I meant every word I said last night. I love you, Cassandra.”
I shake my head but don’t dare speak. “Fay means nothing to
me,” he says. “She never did. And once I met you, she meant
even less.”
“But that didn’t stop you from dating her?”
“Don’t be this way. Please, Cassandra. I never gave myself to
her. You have to believe me.”
I can’t even look at him. “I need some time.”
He sighs. “Time is the one thing we don’t have.”
Bitterness rises in my throat. “You think I don’t know that?”
It’s taking every ounce of my strength not to cry. “I have to go.
My mom will be up soon.”
“Cassandra, please.” He sounds miserable. “Will you come
back?”
I turn back to the house without responding.
“I’ll wait here,” he says. “All day if I have to.”
Back in my room, I crawl into bed and curl up in a ball
beneath the blanket, body and spirit spent. I lie there for at
least an hour, eyes shut, heart aching with each beat. But sleep
won’t come. It’s probably just as well.
Eventually, the clanking sounds of breakfast being cooked
drift up into my room. I have no intention of going downstairs, but the longer I lie here, the more I realize that I can’t risk getting on Mom’s bad side. I slink down to the kitchen
and sit zombie-like through breakfast with Mom, Eddie, and
Frank. They’re discussing a sailing trip up the coast for the
weekend. I feel like my insides are being ripped apart. I want
to be furious with Lawrence, but I may only have two days
left with him. Do I really want to waste them being angry?
Last night was very special. Some people never get the chance
to have that kind of romance. I know that. I can’t let my
insecurities taint that. But to think of Lawrence being with
another girl… it makes me physically exhausted.
After breakfast, I drag myself upstairs and collapse on my
bed. I get under my blanket again. Part of me wants to stay
here the rest of the day and feel sorry for myself. But thankfully, the rest of me knows I can’t do that. It’s already nearly eleven. The day is slipping away. Every minute I waste in this