Anxiety and shock and hope and disbelief.
What am I doing?
This could royally backfire.
But after finally understanding that Estelle wasn’t shutting me out but merely entering self-protective mode, I couldn’t have been more of an idiot. I’d picked a fight when there was nothing to fight about.
Taking her hand, I sucked a lungful of sweet island air.
And dropped to one knee.
Pippa gasped.
Conner jolted.
And Estelle moaned a little.
Staring up at her, I fell even more crazy in love with her. Her belly shadowed the sand and her skin glowed as if she’d harnessed the sun and it shone through her skin.
She was majestic.
She was terrified.
She was mine.
If she’ll still have me.
“Estelle Evermore.” I cleared my throat. “I’m so sorry. I’m a bastard for being so insecure and putting it on you. I shouldn’t have made this about me. This was never about me. I shouldn’t have sulked and worried that I’d done something wrong and smothered you with the need to keep you safe. I see now that I was suffocating you and I’m so bloody sorry.
“I’m sorry I needed more than you were able to give. I’m sorry that I haven’t been there for you as I should. But if there is any way you can forgive me, you’d make me the happiest man in the world if you said yes.
“I promise to be by your side always. I’ll keep you safe and cared for. I’ll fight nightmares and crash land with you anytime you want as long as it means we’re together.
“The reason I argued was because I feel the same way you do. I love you so damn much that the thought of you leaving me is too bloody much to bear. You own me, Estelle, and I can’t get rid of the guilt. The damn guilt that I did this to you. That I’m the reason you’re unhappy and afraid, and I’m making it worse by trying to make up for that.”
I couldn’t stop the verbal spewing, but Estelle squeezed my fingers. The anger in her eyes shifted to everlasting adoration and forgiveness.
My back crumpled in thankfulness.
Conner chuckled. “Way to be a *, man.”
I threw a handful of sand at him. “Hush it.”
Pippa swooned, hugging herself, her eyes bouncing between me and Estelle. “Well...say something, Stelly. Do you want to marry him?”
My back shot ramrod straight.
Don’t say no.
Please, God, don’t say no.
Estelle gave nothing away. I couldn’t tell what she’d say. If it were anything like the past few months, it wouldn’t be good.
However, her voice was gentle and kind, far different to the shrill yelling from before. “Say yes to what, G?”
I frowned. “What?”
“You said...in your rather large speech...‘if I said yes.’” She bent forward, her plait dangling over her shoulder. “Yes to what? I need a question to give an answer.”
Sunrise replaced my heart, slowly filling my body with orange and gold and happy, happy yellows.
Glancing at the kids, Conner gave me a thumbs-up, and Pippa nodded happily.
I slipped back into my world, realigned myself in Estelle’s gravitational pull, and expelled every fear I’d been holding.
Estelle wouldn’t die because there was no death where love was concerned.
And I loved her.
To Pluto and back.
“Estelle...would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” I kissed her knuckles. “Will you marry me?”
She took her time.
She made me wait.
But her reply made it all worthwhile.
“Yes, Galloway. Of course, I’ll marry you.”
.............................
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Conner scowled, pulling at the neckline of the orange t-shirt we’d found in his mother’s tote bag.
We’d rationed our clothing, living in one wardrobe at a time because once the cotton disintegrated, we had no way of getting more.
But tonight was a special occasion and demanded new apparel.
Pippa had chosen her frilly purple sundress and threaded yellow flowers through her hair.
I’d shrugged into my khaki trousers designated for work (but still had the shopping tags on) and topped it with a plaid shirt with the cuffs rolled up.
Estelle had struggled.
She didn’t fit her shorts anymore and her belly stretched almost everything she wore. However, she’d found a few muslin scarves in Amelia’s tote and somehow knotted them together into a dress-like sarong. She looked as if she’d walked from a Grecian painting with her hair coiled and decorated with hibiscus flowers.
No, she looks like a gypsy, a wanderer.
A hard to capture dream.
She’d smeared some aloe on her lips (from the small crop we’d found) and the glistening invitation against the dark honey of her skin made her eyes explode with browns and priceless greens.
I’d never craved my glasses more. I’d give anything to see her in lucent clarity.
Conner tapped my arm, dragging me from my obsession. “Dude, I can’t remember my lines.”
My heart stuttered as Estelle giggled. Ever since she’d appeared on the shore at dusk, I’d been besotted.
We’d all agreed that there was no reason to wait.
We wanted to get married.