“I’ll talk to my mother,” I said as calmly as I could. “I won’t allow her to hurt Daphne.”
“No, Ryan,” my father said. “She might actually listen to you even more than me, but where Daphne is concerned, there are no guarantees. The jealousy is too much for Wendy. In her mind, Daphne stole what Wendy considered hers. Me. Our life. And then you. Do you think I would have taken your mother away from all of you if I’d had another choice?”
“Honestly, Dad,” Joe said, “I’m not sure any of us even know you anymore.”
“For God’s sake!” Marjorie cried. “Our father is ill. He’s going to die. In prison!”
As much as we three brothers adored our little sister, not one of us reacted to her outburst—a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by our father.
“I deserve your resentment. Even your hate,” he said with resignation. “And I deserve to spend my last days in prison.”
My siblings and I said nothing. Even Marj, Daddy’s girl, couldn’t deny the truth of his words.
Silence, until—
Someone rapped at the door.
“Come in,” our father and Talon said in unison.
This was still Talon’s office, after all.
Jade entered. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Ruby is here. She says she needs to talk to all of us.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Ruby
Telling the Steels about Dale and Donny had taken its toll on everyone involved. I couldn’t help shedding some more tears, and even Jonah misted up a bit.
Telling Ryan that I was going to go with my father to find Gina, and that he’d promised to take me to my mother…
That had gone even worse.
I’d gotten him alone after I told the others about Dale and Donny, and then he’d dragged me out by my arm to the deck and picked me up and carried me as if I were a small child all the way to his guesthouse in the back.
He hadn’t said a word.
Now, as we entered, he still didn’t speak. He let Ricky and Ernie out back, and then he turned to me.
“Undress.”
“We’re in the ki—”
“Undress,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Ryan, I—”
“Haven’t I made myself clear? I said undress.”
What if I didn’t? I’d always obeyed him before. And even now, my muscles were itching to do as he’d commanded. I had to force my fingers away from the buttons on my blouse, my feet from kicking off my shoes.
Melanie’s words rang in my mind. You might finally be finding yourself.
Why did I have this urge to obey Ryan Steel? I’d never obeyed anyone in my life. I questioned everything, even my superiors at work if I disagreed with their handling of a case.
Why not Ryan Steel?
His cognac eyes blazed into me, burning into my own. He wasn’t joking around.
He meant to be obeyed.
I fingered the collar of my blouse, slowly. The cotton was textured beneath my fingertips. Slowly I trailed down to a button and played with the smooth plastic.
But I did not unbutton it.
“My patience is wearing thin, Ruby,” Ryan said.
Still, though my fingers itched to rip my shirt open and let the buttons fly across the tile floor, I stood my ground.
What would he do?
My curiosity was eating me alive.
I knew this man. He was not violent, nor was he evil. He was a good man. An honorable man.
If I was going to consider his marriage proposal—and I’d already pretty much decided—I had to know how he would react to my defiance.
He could not keep me from my cousin or my mother, even if it meant forming an alliance with my father. Surely he would understand that.
He advanced toward me, his gaze never leaving mine. His eyes were hard and determined, and when he lifted his hand to me, I fought back a flinch.
With a touch more gentle than I expected, he reached behind me and tugged on the band that was holding my hair in a long ponytail. My hair fell down my back and around my shoulders.
“You should wear your hair down more often.”
“It’s not practical.” True. But even as I said the words, I knew I’d wear my hair down more often from then on.
“Why aren’t you doing as I ask?” he said.
“I’m afraid.”
“Of me?”
“No. Not of you. Of me.”
He stalked out of the kitchen. A few minutes went by, and then he returned. I didn’t ask why he’d left because I already knew. He’d left to get a grip on his temper.
He reached for my hair, and I expected him to yank on it. Instead, he sifted my long tresses through his fingers. “You’re so beautiful. What are you afraid of, baby?”
“Of losing myself.”
“Losing yourself? With me?”
“Yes. I haven’t had a lot of time to think about it with all that’s been going on, but every part of me screams at me to obey you. To bend to your will.”
“All the time?”
“Well…no. Just in the bedroom.” I looked around. “Or the kitchen, apparently. Or anytime you make one of your demands that will lead to sex.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes. I mean, no.” I shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s not…me.”
“Maybe it is.”
Melanie had intimated the same thing. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“I want you to undress. I like watching you undress. And right now, I’m hard as a fucking rock for you. I won’t deny that I’m angry—no, more frightened, actually—of you going off with your father. And when I get that way…” He laughed softly. “You scare the hell out of me, Ruby. I don’t want you going off with your father on some wild-goose chase after your cousin. It’s not safe. If you want to look for Gina, I’ll help you. My brothers will help you. We have unlimited resources.”
I dropped my mouth open.
He pushed my chin upward. “You need to cut ties with your father, baby. For good. It’s not safe for you to be around him.”
“But Gina—”
“If Gina is anywhere to be found, we will find her.” His face became hard. “Now. Undress.”
My hands shook as I fingered the same button, working it through the hole.
“Faster.”
Why was I quivering so? I wanted to please him. And he was right about me going off with my father. It wasn’t safe. I honestly didn’t think Theo would hurt me, but he might not protect me either.
Ryan would protect me. And I’d protect him.
We were equals in life. Damn it, just because I wanted to submit to him during sex didn’t make me any less his equal.
I smiled at my epiphany. Melanie would be proud.
I grabbed both sides of my shirt and pulled. Buttons went flying across the tile.
He laughed. “I can see I’m going to need to buy stock in the company that makes those tops you like.”
“Or just find a good tailor to replace the buttons.” I let the shirt drift over my shoulders and land on the floor.
He cupped my breasts through my bra, thumbing my nipples. They hardened under his touch, poking through the cotton fabric. Then, no longer gentle, he grasped the front of my bra and ripped it from my body.
“I’ll have to buy a lingerie company too,” he said.
I began to laugh but then moaned when he fingered my nipples and twisted them. Tingles raced along my skin—inward, inward—until the little tickle between my legs became unbearable. Ryan bent toward me and took my lips in a searing kiss, all the while playing tug of war on my nipples.
I opened for him completely, willingly, letting his tongue swirl around mine, taking me to another place, another time.
A place where only the two of us existed, where none of the horror of the past several weeks could touch us.
He swept me into his arms and walked swiftly toward his bedroom.
He laid me prone across the bed and tugged my jeans and undies down. I heard the swift zing of his zipper…and then he was inside me, thrusting, pushing, pumping…making me whole.
“God, Ruby. I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too, Ryan,” I wailed into the comforter.
Tears welled in my eyes.
I loved him. Loved this man with my whole being. With everything I was.
And I would marry him.
I wouldn’t be losing myself. I’d be finding something so much more fulfilling.
I’d be finding us.