“They’re not. They—I don’t know. I don’t know, Crosbie. But I’m not into him. I never will be. This is just really bad timing.”
He shakes his head but doesn’t move. “You wanted to keep us a secret for a reason. It never had anything to do with me or that stupid fucking list.”
“It did, but it doesn’t now.”
His jaw flexes and his nostrils flare as he inhales. He’s angry, but he’s still here. He’s listening. He wants to believe me.
“I swear,” I add. “I swear. Please don’t…” I break off to catch my breath so I don’t start crying, like that’s the one thing that could make this situation worse. “Please come back with me.”
“Why?”
“So there are no more secrets. So we all have to eat spaghetti together. It’s going to be terrible, but let’s just do it.”
He finally looks at me. “I won’t tell anyone,” he says.
“What?”
“If you’re doing this because you think I’ll tell everyone we slept together, I won’t. If you want to be with him—if you are with him—I’m not going to spread rumors. I’ll get the fuck over it. Don’t lie to me.”
“I’ve never lied to you.” I swallow past the guilty lump in my throat. A lie of omission isn’t really a lie, is it? “And I’m not afraid of you. I like you. Only you.”
He scrubs a hand over his face and finally notices that I’m freezing my ass off. My arms are wrapped around my still-growling stomach and I’m bouncing on my toes for warmth.
“Where’s your coat?”
“I didn’t stop to get it.”
“Well, you should have. It’s freezing.”
“Well, if it’s the coat or you, I choose you.”
It’s super lame, but his face softens, mouth quirking reluctantly. He looks down at me and believes whatever he sees. “All right, Nora. Let’s go.”
*
Five minutes later we’re sitting at the dining table to partake in the world’s most awful dinner party. I brought out my desk chair for Crosbie while Kellan wordlessly blew out every candle and set a third place. Now we sit in front of three untouched plates of spaghetti and garlic bread, unwilling or unable to meet each other’s eyes.
Kellan’s first to speak. “Seriously?” he mutters, shaking his head. He snatches up his garlic bread and takes a big bite. “You two?”
Crosbie and I look at each other. “Yeah,” Crosbie finally answers.
“How long?”
I nibble at my garlic bread like a guilty rabbit. “Halloween.”
“Hallo—” Kellan’s eyes widen. He gapes at me but points at Crosbie. “That’s who—?”
I know he’s talking about the condom, so I cut him off. “Yes.”
He glares at Crosbie. “You said you banged Miss Washington!”
“Well, she’s from Washington.”
“I cannot believe this. Under my nose.”
I can’t believe it either. And finally I start to laugh. I laugh so hard my shoulders heave and my eyes water and I even snort a little bit. I slump in my chair and toss back my head and just really fucking laugh.
“Are you just banging or is this for real? Boyfriend-girlfriend real?”
The question sobers me up pretty quickly. I straighten in my seat and Crosbie and I exchange a look.
“It’s for real,” he says quietly, picking up his fork and twirling it in his spaghetti. My heart lurches at the words, because I know he’s never said them about anyone before. Neither have I.
Kellan takes another bite of his bread and chews while he surveys us. “I knew it.”
“You knew?” Crosbie echoes, sounding doubtful.
“Yep. You’ve been different this year. I knew there was something going on.” He tilts his head, conceding. “I didn’t know it was Nora, but I knew there was something.”
Crosbie’s jaw twitches. “I see.”
“First you started noticing chicks with glasses after Nora came over to see the apartment that first time. I just thought you’d developed some new fetish, but it was that outfit she had on. She made you like nerds.” He nods at me. “No offense.”
I roll my eyes.
“I didn’t—”
“And how you kept changing our runs so they would go past Beans, then talking about brownies so I’d suggest we go in.”
“I’m not—”
Kellan looks at me. “It was his idea to invite you to the Halloween party. I mean, I was on board with it, but it wasn’t my idea.”
Crosbie glares at him. “What are you—”
Kellan shrugs innocently, though I think we all know he’s far from it. And while Crosbie’s looking a little embarrassed to have his eighth-grade seduction strategy exposed, my heart’s beating a mile a minute. I don’t know anyone who works as hard as he does, for anything. Especially not for me.
“Thank you,” I say.
It appears to take some effort, but he pulls his attention away from Kellan and focuses it on me. “Thank you?”
“Yeah.” I nudge his leg under the table. “If what he’s saying is true, then thank you.”