I hesitated.
“Baby, no matter what you did, I will never turn my back on you.” He leaned forward and kissed me. It wasn’t all consuming, but it was sweet and trusting, and I loved that part of Kilter, too.
“I can go further than what I did with you and my mom. I can take more than just emotions.” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I can take life.”
His thumb never missed a beat as it continued its slow movement over my hip. “How?”
“I stole a man’s emotions until he had nothing left. It killed him. I’d never done it before, but I was desperate and young and didn’t think it through. I had no plan except to escape. Maybe if I’d been smarter I’d have hidden my Ink from Anton when I was younger and Serafina could’ve helped me escape, but when I was eleven, he snapped a metal band around my Ink so I could never call to her.”
“He must have known about our Inks, babe.”
Yeah, he probably did. “He removed it years later, but by then, I was so thin that my Ink no longer responded to my voice.”
“And the man you killed?”
“A guard came to take me to the room where Anton made me practice my skills. Normally, I didn’t fight, but I don’t know. That day I lost control. When he put his hand on my arm, my powers took over and I couldn’t stop myself. He was shocked at first. I could see it in his eyes when he couldn’t catch his breath. He tried to push me off him, but I kept taking his emotions until there was nothing left. He fell to the floor and died.
“I ran. Scared of what I’d done. Of Anton finding out. Of who I was. I made it to the wall, but…” The memory was as if it were yesterday, running, terrified and knowing if I was caught I’d never have the opportunity to escape again. “I couldn’t get over the wall. I just couldn’t. Too many guards watched the gate, so the wall was my only choice, but it was too high. It was too high and they were coming after me. I was weak from killing the guard and couldn’t call on my Ink, so I failed. I failed and Anton dragged me back.” A single tear slid down my cheek and Kilter’s finger gently wiped it away. “I didn’t see the sun, moon, rain, or sky for months after that. When he let me out of the room, he’d hired Ben, and I knew I’d never have the opportunity again.”
“Fuck, babe.” Kilter tightened his hold on my hip and dragged me up against his side. “I’m sorry.” He leaned over, kissed my brow and nose, and slowly lingered over my lips. “I’m sorry I left you behind. It was selfish and cold, and it was cruel.”
“I’m sorry for what your brother and Gemma did to you,” I whispered. “I wish I could have been there. I wish I could have helped you.”
“You did, Rayne. You gave me peace with what you did with your ability.”
“But you found out she betrayed you.”
He nodded. “But it was the truth.” He lowered his head and kissed me. It was soft and yet held so much meaning to it. When he pulled back, his eyes were warm and gentle. “Babe, you trusted me not to hurt you. No one has trusted me in a long time.” He paused. “I don’t think you realize how fuckin’ special you are. Not for your ability, but for who you are as a person.”
Kilter didn’t give compliments easily or lightly and I didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead I kissed him.
“Can I ask you to do something?”
“You can ask me anything. Always.”
I hesitated because Kilter was going to be difficult about this. “Roarke.” His eyes narrowed.
“The Grit at the art gala?”
I nodded. “Don’t let anyone hurt him.”
“He’s a Grit, babe. They kill humans and have no remorse for it.”
“Roarke does,” I whispered.
Kilter cupped the back of my neck, his fingers locked in my hair. “You care about this guy? A Grit? He’d suck the oxygen from your lungs without a second thought. Fuck, he watched you suffer in that place and did fuck all about it.”
I raised my hand and gently stroked his cheek. “Roarke isn’t like my husband, Kilter.”
“Stop calling that bastard your husband. He forced you to marry him, didn’t he?” When I nodded, he continued, “The title doesn’t belong to him.”
Kilter was right. Anton didn’t deserve that title. He didn’t deserve me.
“Grits can’t be trusted, Rayne. It’s who they are.”
“Roarke protected me. He kept me away from Anton as much as he could.”
“He should have got you the fuck out of there. It’s bullshit.”
“Maybe he couldn’t.”
“Or maybe he didn’t want to.”
I’d thought about that, too. Had Roarke liked that I was a captive? Had he hoped my husband would put us together—again? Had he enjoyed what we were forced to do? It had been an experiment, one that failed.