“You’re okay,” I said.
“Am I…?” she breathed.
I didn’t know how to answer.
We both knew we were fucked. I knew she probably had an inkling that I wasn’t going to let her go now, that I was after her—into her. Silent, I pushed my thumb into her mouth, making her lick it. She shuddered. Undone, I leaned my head down and groaned and sucked her tongue into my mouth, savoring her again.
She tensed—whispered that she shouldn’t be doing this, thinking that I was with another woman maybe, but a part of me wanted her to think that. To feel the pressure of losing me, so that she could get over her resistance and open up to me.
That night, as she begged me to help her with her startup, I could see it in her eyes: she was ready for me, and fuck me if I wasn’t finally the man for her.
Bryn
I dress to kill for the launch in one of the pieces from the collection that I hope will be a bestseller: a sleek, form-fitting dress with cut shoulders and a sexy slice up the right thigh.
I cover the dark circles under my eyes, due to a lack of sleep. I waited for Christos to call last night.
He did.
And because I had been thinking of my parents, my voice wavered the moment I picked up.
“Don’t cry,” he husked out.
“It’s okay. I just wish my parents were here,” I said, and then we sat in silence for a while, and because I didn’t want to spend those moments alone, instead of saying goodnight, I said, “Talk to you later?”
He called at 3 a.m. sharp, luring me from a dream of fire and screaming for them to find Christos. Christos and our child.
“Are you doing better?” he asked.
“Yes. Just nervous,” I lied, speaking low into the receiver, shifting in bed with the phone to my ear, the other ear on my pillow as I stared out the window at the blinking city lights. Trying not to think of my dream, even with the lingering sense of loss in my chest. “I want to puke when I think about facing all these people tomorrow.”
“This will only happen for the first time once. Make it count.”
“Make me more nervous, why don’t you?” I laughed, and he chuckled softly too, his voice groggy with sleep.
“Breathe, bit.” He then added, sober, “It’s what you wanted. Isn’t it? It’s what you fucking wanted, bit. It’s here.”
“Okay,” I said, comforted by his voice.
Silence.
I love you.
“Do you have someone to kiss you goodnight now?” he asked. “Your roommate. A brother I don’t know about.”
“I don’t have a brother.” I laughed.
“Then close your eyes.”
“What?”
“I’ll virtually kiss you goodnight.”
“What?” I asked, louder.
“There’s no one else, right?” he dared. “So I’ll have to do.”
“You can’t—”
“On your forehead, bit,” he said.
I closed my eyes, and before he could speak, I imagined him kissing my forehead.
“Don’t kiss me like a brother,” I whispered, pleading, and he said, “What’s left for us?”
I couldn’t answer, but when I hung up I realized that tomorrow House of Sass launches, and all the joy I should be feeling has been outweighed by the awful fact of losing the only man I’ve ever wanted and loved.
Now, as I arrive at the warehouse with Becka and Sara in tow, both of whom are completely charmed by Jensen, I see Christos taking up the room, and my heart jolts and my pulse starts a racket.
He’s in a suit, crisp and sharp as always—the one thing everyone in the room is ogling.
From the opposite side of the main floor of the warehouse that is now House of Sass, I remain motionless as my friends head inside to look at our merchandise. For three seconds, I just absorb the image of him and make love to him with my eyes.
I know his walk by memory, confident and graceful. The back of his head, his ears, his hand in one pocket, the other hanging by his sides as he greets the guests.
Miranda tries to stay by his side, putting her arm on the small of his back.
He doesn’t reciprocate.
Still, I cannot move my eyes away from her hand on his back. It seems forever before my mind and my body are finally in sync, and I realize Cole is talking to me.
“Oh, hi, Cole,” I greet, and for a moment I see a spark of pain and something else in his eyes, something like guilt.
“Hey, Bryn.”
We exchange smiles, and then he begins to admire the clothes on display. At first I think he’s going to say something, but when he doesn’t, I start to wander off on my own, studying each of the pieces on display in marvel.
I absently run my fingers over the fabric of a gorgeous one-piece jumpsuit. Done in a deep charcoal fabric with a thick pearl necklace collar, it looks both edgy and classic; the fabric is so soft that it promises to be a piece that you want to wear everywhere.
It feels surreal to see my creation—a product of my mind—finally take physical form. The whole warehouse that is now the home base of House of Sass glitters tonight, its industrial style mixed with modern accents proudly displaying all of my winter collection designs along with the top designers’ upcoming lines. Satisfaction fills me as I look at every piece—all of them so gorgeous, I can’t imagine a woman not wanting a piece of each—and as I take it all in, a yearning for my parents to have seen this trickles over me.
Kelly’s was a traditional store, and yet this store—their daughter’s store—is for the modern woman. iPads are set up along the walls and next to each piece of display. This way, customers can easily check in on suggestions on body shapes, best colors for their skin tone, and current trends.
On these same iPads, the customers can test the software—which has all of the House of Sass collection uploaded and immediately suggests outfits currently available at the store for purchase. If they spot anything they love, customers can simply click “add to bag” or “try on” and from there, all they need to do is either meet the attendants at the dressing rooms, or meet the attendants behind the cashier, who will bring everything in their requested size to the cash register. They can add to their wishlist and email the list to themselves for future reference, and if they love the software and decide to go for their “personal style advisor” there’s a free version on the iPad where they can try out not only the software’s suggestions and discussing their outfits with their friends, but they can also discuss any pieces or selections with the House of Sass staff—including me.
It’s exciting.