But I’m so mind-fucked right now I can’t really think at all.
There’s a heavy feeling in my chest, a tight little knot in my stomach, and I can’t seem to get past the moment Christos walked into the room and…was there. In the same space. After all these years wondering… just wondering. Endlessly. About him.
He was a little aloof, a little playful, and a little too…
Sexy, a little voice whispers.
And he still has that pull on you, girl.
I push that scary little thought aside, but I can’t stop thinking about Aaric.
Aaric freaking Christos.
It’s like Erick, pronounced similarly, but with an A at the beginning. The first letter of the alphabet, double in dose. You could say that describes the man perfectly. We met in high school, and he was always more than anyone could handle.
Considering how difficult it’s been to get an appointment with him, that seems to continue to be the case.
He was always…more. More than the norm, always the first. The first you’d see in a room. The first who’d dare the dares in the parties that no one else would. The first to offer help when you needed it, but also the first to sneer when you fucked up.
He called me Lips. And “little bit”.
And he wanted me.
I wasn’t interested (at least, I never admitted to myself that I was). He left the city with his brother a few years after we met. And that was that.
So this meeting was a bit of a wildcard. I didn’t know if he’d remember me, if he’d ever thought about me after he left.
Twelve years is a long time, after all.
I’ve heard rumors about him from old school friends, Jensen included (who kept in touch with him when he left). I’ve heard of how much he has changed, how merciless and cold and threatening he has become—no longer the easygoing guy he used to be. It’s not like he’s involved in shady business—but he’s definitely a name that seems to inspire chills in other men.
Even then, everyone wants him to consider investing in their startups. He only considers risky ventures, ventures the banks won’t touch. To be denied by Christos means your options are gone—and you’re basically fucked.
I really don’t want to be fucked.
But seeing him tonight, all-powerful and larger-than-life, I’m thinking I may be in way over my head here. Playing with the big boys in a business-game that I’m not sure I know how to play.
Christos has clearly gone on with his life. He’s filthy rich, has a gorgeous girlfriend who calls him darling, and is some Manhattan hotshot. Me? My life is worse than it was when I was seventeen and in high school. After his mother died and he left my life, it’s like the sun left with him. One tragedy after another. I’ve been grappling to find my footing ever since.
I’ve been sad, trying to figure out how and what could fill the hole and give my life meaning.
It means something to me. My startup. It’s what I’m good at and what keeps me connected to my mom and dad. It’s also what I’ve grown to love.
I’m thirty years old and this December, I’ll be thirty-one. I thought I’d be married and successful by this age. I’m neither. I’ve made peace with the things that don’t pan out as planned, but I’ve also still got dreams and moving to New York was my first step to prove how serious I am about them. The first step needed to make them come true.
When I get to my small flat and realize my roommate Sara isn’t home yet, I sit down on my bed with some of my plans and sketches. The only thing that makes me feel good is getting lost in my own little world. But as I grab my drawing pens, I can’t seem to focus.
I pull out my laptop, boot it up, and open the web browser.
I search Aaric Christos girlfriend.
Miranda Santorini comes up. She’s a Manhattan socialite. They’ve been seen together for the past three months. Her dad owns real estate Christos is after, some speculate.
I’m about to shut my computer when I hear Sara’s voice. “What are you looking at? Is that, whoa, lady boner alert—is that Aaric Christos?”
I shut my laptop and turn. Sara put out an ad the week I arrived in Manhattan, I answered, we hit it off, and we’ve been rooming together ever since. Younger than me by two years, she’s tall and skinny, a ballerina with a broken ankle and a heart of gold, she works as a concierge at a four-star hotel Downtown. I’m surprised that she knows who he is. “How do you know him?”
“Everyone knows him. He’s lava.”
I groan despairingly. “He’s the whole volcano.”
“How do you know him?” she asks.
“He’s an old acquaintance. I saw him tonight.” I rub my temples, which are starting to throb from the pressure of remembering our meeting. “He looked really good. He’s like McDreamy—better as he matures. God, he looked so confident. Successful. Like he’s at the very pinnacle.”
“Newsflash, he is. He’s huge around here.” She eyes me from the door. “Is that a banging look?” she asks mischievously.
I flush and glance at my shut laptop. “Come on. He’s got a girlfriend.”
She wags her brows. “You still want to bang him.”
“No! It’s just…he was this boy I used to know. It’s…I don’t know. He’s the biggest what if I’ve ever had in my life. The one you always wonder about.”
“I can’t believe you knew Christos.” She walks to my bed and drops down on it, kicking her shoes off and curling her legs beneath her as she sits.
“Me either. He wanted me for a time, I guess. I never could go for it,” I say, shaking my head. “I’ve always regretted it. I went to talk to him about business tonight, but it didn’t go well.”
“He’s probably thinking if you didn’t give him a chance, why should he give you one now?”
“Maybe,” I agree, but I shake my head. “He doesn’t even know what I’m selling yet.”
“Find a way to see him again. Find a way to get him to say yes.”
“You know what?” I gather my laptop and shoot her a playful, chiding look. “Go and do your stuff, let me have my pity party.”
She laughs and raps her knuckles to the wall behind my bed. “I’m right behind this wall if you need me.”
I nod, then I grab my papers and pens. “How did your audition go?” I ask as she heads for the door.
“As good as your meeting.”
“Oh no,” I groan, raising my voice as she walks out. “You’ll get the part next time!”
“You’ll get the guy.”
“No. I’m not after the guy, Sara. I’m after money for my startup.”
“Then he’ll show you the money,” she yells from the hall.
“You had me at hello!” I yell back.
I’m determined for him to see I’m not ashamed to throw more than rocks at his window. I’ll throw the whole bucket next time we meet.
Christos 18 hours ago…
I smash the ball into the wall, nearly hitting Wells. “You get the ring?” he asks.
“Yep.” I smash it again.
“You’re really doing it?”
I shrug. “Why not?” I turn and smash. Smash, smash.