Cole bends toward me. “No, that’s not—”
“How did that conversation go exactly?” I can’t decide who I want to castrate more, but I glare at Cole. “Did you call up your best friend and say, Hey man, I bugged my girlfriend’s house, and I need you to spy on her. She’s a bit of a moaner, so just tune that part out?”
Trace reaches for me again, and I jerk away, darting to the other side of the kitchen and putting the island between them and me.
“Is my house still bugged?” Tremors quake through me, trying to bury my voice.
“No.” Trace rests his hands on the counter, leaning into the five feet of space between us. “I removed them when I started sleeping there. I never invaded your privacy more than was needed. I have software that triggers off certain sounds and words, sending me notifications to investigate.”
I feel violated, deceived, and icky all over. “What you did is illegal. So is killing a man. Are you running from the police, Trace?”
“Men like us,” Cole says, “don’t always work within the boundaries of the law. And we’re very good at staying under the radar.”
They’re manipulators, liars, criminals, and I fell in love with them.
I still love them. I love them more than I will ever love anything or anyone in my life. But I’ve reached my limit.
Maybe it’s hypocritical to resent Cole for cheating or to be angry at Trace for keeping more secrets from me. But they continued their relationships with me knowing I was dating both of them. I wasn’t exclusive with either of them, and I never set out to deceive them.
They put me in this position with their untruths about their jobs and their friendship. They told me they loved me with mouths full of lies. They wrenched me back and forth between them under the pretense that the secrets were behind us. I’m a fucking fool.
Their deceit has warped my love, trailing its toxic, spineless tentacles around the trust I freely gave them. If I don’t untangle myself, their lies will continue to constrict and suffocate until nothing is spared and life is strangled from my body.
Just like that, the decision I’ve been waiting to happen happens.
It surges up my throat in searing tattered sobs.
“Your death destroyed me,” I say to Cole, gulping down a painful cry. “But this? This is my breaking point. I mourned a man while he was cheating on me. I trusted a man who killed someone under my roof. My privacy has been recorded and analyzed and violated by two people who supposedly love me.” I lower to the floor to slide on my socks and boots. “You both know what the other has been up to and all the while I know absolutely nothing. Thanks for making me feel so fucking stupid and oblivious.”
“Danni.” Cole takes a step forward, expression tight. “That’s not—”
“You led me to believe I knew you, but you only showed me a tiny glimpse of the men you are. It’s betrayal in the cruelest form. It feels like you’re taking turns killing me, only I’m still alive and breathing and feeling every goddamn second of it.”
“That was never my intention.” Cole closes the final distance, hard-jawed and hard-headed, with hellfire in his eyes.
“Fuck off, Cole.” Anguish claws at the flesh of my heart.
“You’re not leaving.” He crouches beside me and extends his fingers toward my face.
“Swear to God, if you put your hands on me or try to stop me in any way, I will escalate this into screaming, punching, kicking, whatever it takes, and I’ll probably end up hurting myself.” I wobble to my feet and pull on my coat. “Let me walk out of here with whatever remains of my goddamn dignity.”
Trace hasn’t moved from the island. His arms hang at his sides, his head bent low. The shadows of something dark and purposeful rotates in his frosty eyes.
“That goes for you, too,” I say to him, hating the tears plopping against my cheeks. “I’m terminating my employment at Bissara, effectively immediately.” My voice fractures. “I won’t be coming back.”
His fingers curl into tight fists, his entire body deadly still.
I need to get out of here before I have a total meltdown. My phone sits on the counter, and that’s where it’ll stay. No contact. No connections. Cut all ties.
Gathering my strength with a hard-hearted breath, I walk quietly to the elevator and press the button.
It opens instantly, waiting for me, mocking me.
I can’t do this.
It feels like I’m walking away from life. Everything I want and cherish, everything that I am is right here. There’s nothing outside of this room.
“You’re not a quitter.” Cole’s deep angry voice penetrates my spine. “Don’t you fucking run away.”
I push my feet into motion, step onto the threshold of the elevator, and turn to face them for the last time.
“I want you moved out in three days.” I force my watery gaze to Cole, pulling stinging breaths into the ice block of my chest. “Pack up your shit. Whatever you leave behind will get sold when I return.”
“Where the fuck are you going?” Cole flexes his fists at his sides, his eyes wild.
Trace lifts a hand to the counter, staring starkly at the floor.
“I put up with the secrets about your jobs, the manipulations with Marlo and Bissara, the rivalry and jealousy, the constant pushing and pulling.” I back up into the elevator and press the button for the garage.
“Danni.” Cole steps forward with the heel of his hand against his chest.
“I’ll coast along and tolerate just about anything. Until I have to push the throttle to the floor. Then I stomp on that son of a bitch with both feet and slam a heavy hammer on it to hold it down.” Tears course down my face as elevator doors slide close. “I just dropped the hammer.”
The elevator doors close, and the flood gates burst open. I double-over, choking on the brutality of the sobs fraying my throat. I can’t catch my breath. Can’t feel my heart beating.
I lost them.
I fucking lost my entire world.
It’s an agonizing drive across town with my fingers clenched so tightly to the wheel my knuckles blanch. I go straight to Bree’s house, and that’s where I stay for three days.
She doesn’t know about the photos, the cheating, or the cameras and murder. I told her I ended it with both of them because I couldn’t choose. Then I left it at that.
On the third night, I lie on her couch, with my face buried in a wet pillow. I haven’t stopped crying since I stepped out of the elevator.
“Cole’s supposed to be gone by tonight.” A thick keening noise garbles my voice. “I can go home now.”
“Stay as long as you want.” Bree sits beside my curled-up body and strokes my hair. “You need to give yourself time.”
I’m jobless.
Loveless.
Hopeless.
Fucking pathetic.
“I’m going to sell the house.” I choke on the words I’ve been chewing on for three days.