With my hand in his, I guide him back into bed and pull the blankets around us. Eventually, his chest relaxes against my back, and his breaths even out. Only then do I let myself fall back asleep.
Just as I slip out of awareness, his hand clenches around mine, snapping my eyes open in the dark.
“You have my heart,” he whispers against my nape. “Please don’t hurt me.”
The next morning, I hang my head over the toilet and vomit for the third time in two hours. My guts cramp through each wretched heave. My body shakes and chills, and sweat saturates every pore.
“This is my fault.” Cole crouches behind me, holding my hair and rubbing my back.
“Shut up,” I say weakly and drop my brow to the toilet seat. “Just let me die already.”
“I should’ve made you stay in bed last night.”
“We were in bed.” I wobble my head, sliding him a look. “A lot.”
“You know what I mean.” Worry creases his face. “Are you done?”
“I think so.” I push away from the toilet and lower the lid. “I don’t have anything left in my stomach.”
He hits the flusher and pulls me to a teetering stand. “Easy.”
“Need to brush my teeth.”
He helps me, supporting my weight while I scrub the icky taste from my mouth. Then he lifts me in his arms.
As he carries me out of the bathroom, the doorbell rings.
I groan and rest my cheek on his shoulder.
“Expecting someone?” He heads to the bedroom and eases me onto the mattress.
“I messaged Trace an hour ago. Told him I was throwing up.”
“Fuck.” Cole sets his jaw.
“I told him not to come over.”
“And you expected him to listen?” He drags a hand down his face and takes in my thin tank top and panties. “I’ll get you something to wear.”
“I’m burning up.” I kick the sheet off my legs as an inferno blazes beneath my skin. “Just…please, go let him in and try not to kill each other.”
I feel a little delirious, because one second, Cole is glaring down at me. Then I blink, and it’s Trace’s blue eyes sweeping over me.
“Did you swap bodies?” My mumble sounds logical, but I don’t really know what I’m saying.
“You’ve been asleep for a while.” Trace touches a hand to my forehead then my cheek. “Fever’s still high. Think you can keep down some fluids?”
He holds up a bottle of clear fruit juice.
I nod. “Where’s Cole?”
The instant the question leaves my mouth, my insides contract for reasons unrelated with nausea.
I had sex with Cole, and guilt stabs painfully hard as I look at Trace. Can he see the shame in my eyes? Smell the betrayal on my body?
“I’m right here.” Cole’s voice rumbles from behind me.
I turn my neck and find him sitting in a chair next to the bed, his disgruntled gaze locked on Trace. If Cole loses his temper, I’m in no condition to intervene. I can’t even work up the strength to worry about it.
Trace slides a hand beneath my head and helps me sit up.
“Just a few sips.” He holds the juice to my lips.
The cherry flavor trickles down my throat, cool and refreshing. I grab his wrist, wanting more, but he sets it out of reach.
“I talked to the pharmacy.” He lifts a plastic bag from the floor and places it on the bed. “There’s a stomach bug going around.”
“I hope I don’t get you guys sick.” I rub my head, swaying with dizziness. “You should probably fumigate or something.”
“I’m not concerned about that.” Trace reaches into the bag and looks at Cole, hesitating. “I also picked up this.”
He removes a rectangular package and drops it on my lap.
A pregnancy test.
Denial slams into me, tightening my shoulders. I have an IUD, and it doesn’t expire for years.
Cole surges from the chair, his features twisted in pain and horror. He paces a tight circle beside the bed, his hands raking through his hair and shoulders bunching. Then he stops at the window and stares outside.
“I’m not pregnant,” I say to his back.
If I were, the baby wouldn’t be his. I got sick before last night, and he knows that.
“Take the test.” Trace straightens and clasps his hands behind his back. “We need to know for sure.”
He looks unruffled and indifferent in his fitted navy suit and pinstripe button-up. His wide stance and natural scowl emanates intimidation and sternness, but I see beneath it. The brightness in his blue eyes, the twitch in his clean-shaved cheek, and the way his body leans slightly toward me—all of it radiates emotion. Eagerness. Hope.
I don’t know if he wants to be a father, but if I were carrying his child, that would certainly give him the fate he’s waiting for. It would tie us together forever.
“Let’s get this over with.” I slide off the bed, waving them away when they move to help me.
I’m not going to pee on a stick while they glare and growl at each other. The bathroom isn’t big enough for the three of us anyway.
My legs shake, and the floor spins as I trudge toward the toilet and take the test. I’m so certain it’ll be negative, I don’t wait for the results before returning to the bedroom.
Trace plucks the stick from my hand while Cole tucks me in. Then we wait.
The tension in the room is so thick it’s hard to breathe. Cole and Trace want different results from the test, and one of them will be disappointed. I wish I can say or do something to make it easier for them, but I’m struggling just to keep my eyes open.
Trace doesn’t take his focus off the plastic stick. Another minute passes before creases bracket his scowl and his shoulders fall.
“It’s negative.” He tosses it in the wastebasket, staring at it with unblinking eyes.
My heart hurts for him, but he must know that a baby would’ve put a terrible wrench in an already confusing situation.
Cole releases a heavy breath and lowers into the chair beside the bed. He doesn’t smile or shout for joy, but relief is evident in his soft expression.
Since he returned, he’s mentioned numerous times he wants a family. I don’t know how I feel about that, and this is probably the worst time to bring it up, but it’s on my mind.
“Can we talk about this?” I lean back on the pillow.
Two pairs of eyes turn to me and widen.
“Don’t freak out.” I pull the sheet over me and instantly feel too hot. I kick it off. “What I need to say has to do with both of you.”
“You need to sleep.” Trace sits on the edge of the bed.
“I will.” I pull in a breath and slowly release it. “Cole, you said you want a family.”
“Yes.”
I peer at Trace. “What about you?”
He considers the question, staring at his hands before meeting my eyes. “I find that my love for you is ever-expanding. If you give me children, I’ll love them and protect them with my life. If you don’t, I’ll still be the happiest man in the world. As long as I have you.”
A shiver sweeps over me. From his words. And the fever.
“Motherhood has never been an aspiration for me.” I close my eyes and speak into the silence. “Maybe I’ll change my mind as I get older, but right now, I’m not in a place where I even want to think about it. So if that’s a deal breaker for either of you, I understand.”