“This might be a stupid question, but why is it so big?”
“Not stupid at all, and not for the reason you think. When I was little, we all used to pile into my parents’ bed on weekend mornings to wake them up. All four of us. My father would grumble, but we’d end up wrestling and laughing. It’s silly, but it’s one of my best memories. When I went to buy a bed, I decided to get one made that was big enough for that.”
The more she learned about him, the harder she fell. “So…you want a family?”
“Definitely, someday.” His brows slanted. “You?”
She weighed her answer, wondering if the truth would scare him off, and quickly decided that with Bear, nothing but the truth would do.
“I gave up wanting a family after my mom fell into the bottle. I was afraid I’d end up like her, and I didn’t want to do that to a child. But spending time with Kennedy and Lincoln, and seeing the love Gemma and Tru give them, has made me think about it again. People say you turn into your parents no matter how hard you try not to, but I don’t think that’s true. It might take effort, but I think we choose our own paths.”
“I respect my father,” Bear said with a serious edge to his voice. “But I’ll be damned if I’ll turn into him. I think Tru and Gemma are a testament to the fact that we aren’t fated to turn into our parents, and you have proven that we choose our own paths. The only thing we’re destined to be is what we decide we want to be. Everything else is temptation, bad and good. But in the end, we’re in control.”
He opened a door behind him, revealing a rustic screened porch with an old wooden table and four chairs that had seen better days and another bed, which sat low to the ground. A lantern stood atop the table. Like the walls, the ceiling was screened, offering the natural light and beauty of the night sky. Marred and scuffed rafters matched the knotted wood beneath their feet.
“I love this.” She set the pitcher on the table and looked out at the lake. “Feel that breeze? Don’t you wish you could have your whole house screened in and then somehow, just for winter, wrap it up tight?”
He set the tray on the table, and his arms circled her from behind. This was her second favorite place to be, the first being tucked against his side. “I spend nearly every night out here. I thought you might like it.”
She turned in his arms, completely taken by this outdoorsy side of him. “I more than like it.” He held her gaze for so long, she thought he must be reading between the lines, just as she hoped he would.
They ate dinner by the dim light of the lantern, sharing the grog and too many kisses to count. The paella was even more delicious than she remembered, but that could be because she knew the lengths Bear had gone to in order to prepare such a special night for her.
Now they lay on their backs on the bed, their fingers laced, gazing through the screen at the stars above and talking.
“Biggest dream?” she asked.
“That’s a hard one. Other than you?” He squeezed her hand. “Probably making a name for myself in the motorcycle business. You?”
“My biggest dream is this. I’ve worked so hard to have a normal life, and I know that seems simplistic. But being here with you, like this? It’s so big to me.”
They lay in silence, listening to the sounds of nature. It was nice, not overthinking or being entertained. Just being there with Bear felt wonderful.
“Your name,” he said softly. “Do you have a preference for what I call you?”
Her nerves prickled. She didn’t want to get into a discussion about her past, but she liked that he was asking. “My real first name is Christine, but the only name that fits now is Crystal.” She turned onto her side, and he did the same. “But what I like most is when you call me whatever you feel. Sugar, baby cakes, your girl.”
“I thought you weren’t into ownership.”
“I’m not. But you’re not an asshole who treats me like a possession. If you were, I wouldn’t be here with you.”
He touched his lips to hers. “That’s because I adore you, and if I turn into an asshole, I’m sure you will shut me down.”
She ran her fingers over his whiskers, smiling at his response. “I’ve told you so much about myself. I got the impression you didn’t want to talk about your nickname, or the scars, but I’d like to hear the story. If you’d rather not, I understand.”
His face went serious. “Babe, the only reason I didn’t want to talk about it was that I wanted to be close to you. Not because I didn’t want to tell you about it.” He pulled off his shirt and rolled onto his stomach, resting his cheek on his forearms.
Between his shoulder blades were long, swooping scars. Some were slick and paler than his skin, others puckered and dark. Three looked more prominent, wider and angrier than the others.
“You can touch them,” he said, watching her.
She ran her fingers along the length of each one, silently counting as she went. Five. “It must have hurt a lot.”
“I was too pumped up on adrenaline to notice the pain. We’d gone on a camping trip with a few of the families from the club. I went to take a piss away from the campsite, and when I came upon two bear cubs, I knew I was in trouble. The hair on the back of my neck stood up before I heard the mama bear growling, and as I turned, her claws came down on my back, knocking me to my knees. I remember shouting, but have no idea what I yelled. I fought with everything I had. Bullet had boxed from the time he was eight, and he was always on my ass about being tough. That’s why he used to do shit to me like toss me in the lake. He was toughening me up. Anyway, he’d made it his job to teach us all how to fight. Even as a kid Bullet was giant. There was no arguing with him. So I learned to box and to street fight, which meant enduring him as my opponent.”
He laughed a little, as if he were remembering those boxing matches. “I clocked that bear in the snout, which stunned her for a few seconds, giving me enough time to get to my feet. And long enough for Bullet to plow through the forest like a bat out of hell and put himself between me and the bear. The whole thing happened in seconds, and someone was watching out for us, because that bear roared again, then ambled off with its cubs.”
She flattened her hand over the scars. “Your heart is going crazy.”
“Adrenaline. It’s like I’m right back there facing that beast. Man, Bullet didn’t hesitate to put himself between us. I owe him my life.”
“You’re both so brave.” She lay beside him again, and he pulled her close.
“I think you take the cake on bravery,” he said gently. “I guess we both know a little about survival.”
She lay in his arms, listening to the sounds of the lake and the leaves brushing in the breeze. Lying together, talking and sharing pieces of themselves felt like a whole new level of intimacy. She was surprised by how much time she’d wasted worrying about it.