Trouble is a Friend of Mine

‘Isn’t that what everyone’s trying to do?’ he said.

Ursula had a seriously evil smirk. ‘Su-ure.’

‘I get it. You don’t like Marina. But do you hate her enough to want to see her stay missing?’ Digby said.

‘Oh, no … it was fun for a while, but I want her back now. It’s not funny anymore,’ Ursula said. ‘I mean, Marina’s whiney and she dropped loser dust all over the place, but it’s not as much fun as I thought it’d be without her around. It’s kinda like the Joker told Batman; she completes me.’

‘It doesn’t sound like she had it too good around here,’ Digby said.

‘You met my mother,’ Ursula said.

‘What’s the age difference between you and Marina?’ Digby said.

‘I’m five months younger,’ Ursula said.

‘Ah … doing that math makes your mother feel sleazy,’ Digby said. ‘So, Marina was, what? Cinderella?’

‘Maybe in her mind. No, Marina was more, like, invisible. Gift cards for Christmas, that kind of thing,’ Ursula said. ‘Nothing crappy enough to write any fairy tales about.’

‘But you think it was crappy enough to make her run away,’ Digby said. ‘Because you don’t think she was kidnapped.’

‘Neither do you,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you?’

‘She filled a prescription for eight months of birth control right before she disappeared and brought it with her,’ he said.

‘Of course she did. She’s so dumb,’ she said.

‘Do the police know you don’t believe she was abducted?’ he said.

‘You of all people should know what happens when people suspect you know something about a family member disappearing,’ Ursula said.

‘You know who he is?’ I said.

‘He and his family were the most notorious people in River Heights for a year,’ Ursula said. ‘Of course I know who he is.’

‘But your mother didn’t,’ I said.

‘She only watches the news when she’s on it or when someone she knows is getting indicted,’ Ursula said.

‘Why do you think Marina took off?’ Digby said.

‘Dunno. Maybe she finally found her Prince Charming.’ She snapped her fingers and pointed at Henry. ‘Now I remember who you are. She was bummed out after you dumped her. Anyway, you probably wouldn’t have been able to give her what she needed.’

‘Oh?’ Digby said. ‘Marina told you Henry couldn’t give her what she needed?’

‘You’re an idiot,’ I said. ‘Not everything’s a sex thing.’ To Ursula, I said, ‘It wasn’t a sex thing, was it?’

‘More like a meal ticket thing,’ Ursula said. ‘Marina lived off my crumbs, but crumbs around here … still pretty sweet. She needed someone to keep her in the lifestyle to which she’d grown accustomed.’

‘She said she was going out with a rich guy,’ Digby said. ‘You couldn’t save us a whole bunch of work and just tell us who he is, could you?’

‘I don’t know who he is. But I do know he gave her nasty habits.’ Ursula passed Digby a debit card. ‘She stole this from me and when I stole it back, I noticed a bunch of blue powder on it. Gross. She used it to snort her junk.’

Digby ran his tongue along the line of blue powder.

‘You don’t even know what that is,’ I said.

‘It’s Adderall. Generic Adderall tastes like sherbet,’ Digby said.

‘He also gave her a new phone,’ Ursula said.

‘Don’t tell me she took it with her,’ Digby said. ‘Because that would be really lame.’

‘No, the police have it,’ Ursula said. ‘But there’s nothing in it. They told my mother the memory on the new phone was completely wiped. But …’

‘The new phone was wiped … but her old phone,’ Digby said.

We followed Ursula down the hall to the upstairs sitting room.

‘So …?’ Digby said.

Looking at Ursula’s hatchet-face smile was like staring at the business end of a sharp blade. Chop, chop, chop.

Digby pointed at a phone sitting in a dock in the entertainment unit. ‘Is that her old phone?’

Ursula gave us a slow, elaborate shrug. ‘It’s not mine.’

‘We’re taking it,’ Digby said.

‘Like I said, it’s not mine,’ she said.

Digby pocketed it just as Mrs Miller got back.

‘Ursula, do you know anything about pizzas getting delivered? He threatened to call the police if I didn’t pay. He was extremely rude,’ Mrs Miller said.

‘I don’t know, Mother. Did you drunk-dial again?’ Ursula said.

‘Oh, Ursula. Don’t tell those jokes in front of people we hardly know. They might think you’re being serious,’ Mrs Miller said. ‘Anyway, did you get what you need for the article?’

‘They sure did.’ Ursula handed Digby her card. ‘And I’m giving Brandon my contact information so he can call me if he has more questions.’

‘I thought your name was Taylor,’ Mrs Miller said.

‘That’s what I said, Mother,’ Ursula said.