“He’s not cold,” I say quietly. Not always. There are times, when his hands are in my hair and his tongue is soft against mine, that he is fully and completely engaged. It is a female’s right to be possessive of those things that are hers. And he, as my husband, is mine.
Drew’s jaw tightens, his green eyes returning to mine. “I just thought you should know. For Nathan, the moment he saw her—he was done for. It’s one of the reasons he’s still looking for her. She still, four years later, has complete control of his heart. He will never stop loving her.”
I look away, needing the space, my mind trying to decipher what my heart feels for Drew. He’s speaking of Nathan, but I feel this is about us. And I can’t even think about that. I regret ever kissing him. With everything I’ve just learned, my purpose here, his sister … it feels like his seduction of me was a ploy, something to separate me from Nathan, to give his sister better footing, or some sick form of competition. I don’t know what it was, and maybe it was innocent, but I can’t deal with it, with us, right now. There should have never been an “us”, and now that I understand Nathan’s motivations, his behavior over the past two months is shone upon in an entirely different light. I push to my feet, ignoring Drew as I return to my room.
“Good evening.”
The sound of Nathan’s voice in my room is so foreign that it takes me a moment to place it. I turn from my place at the dresser, seeing him in the doorway, his tie loosened, shirt untucked. His hair looks like he has been running his hands through it all morning, his face lined, eyes tired. I feel a stab of sympathy and realize I’m already looking at him differently, my glasses rose-tinted with the new information.
It is the romantic side of me, the side who devours love stories, the side who still believes in soul mates and tragic love. That side is enamored by the fact that this man can still pine for the woman who crushed his heart. The man with the body of sin, who at the moment is scowling at me like I have taken his favorite toy and tossed it off a bridge. “Mark said you needed me?”
I stand and rest a hip against the dresser. “I have a proposition for you.”
He raises his eyebrows. “We went through that already. Two months ago. Our business arrangement has already been settled.”
“I’d like to renegotiate.”
“With what?” He moves closer, his eyes sharp on mine.
“With my name. It appears that I have sole control over the funds in that account. I am happy to help you access it, but I want something in return.”
“And what would that be?” He moves another step closer, and I forget how to breathe for a moment, the scent of him too familiar, bringing to mind too many memories of slick, bare skin and a hard, demanding cock.
“I want out. A divorce, or annulment, whichever is appropriate. But I need you to continue providing for my father. And I’d like a little bit of money to start fresh, somewhere other than Sammy’s.”
He frowns. “That’s asking for a lot in exchange for two months of your time.”
“And what was your original plan, after you got the money? Dump me with ten grand? Send my father back to the city hospital?” My body tightens in sudden anger. “You want to fuck with my life for three months and then toss me aside? I think that’s taking a lot considering what you are getting in return.” I reach forward to poke his chest and he grabs my hand, his grip tight on my skin.
“It’s my money, Candy. I’m just getting it back. I’m not taking something that I don’t deserve.”
“You haven’t answered the question,” I glare. “What was your plan for after you got the money?”
He releases my hand. “I wasn’t going to leave you. I was going to stay married.”
“What?” I say, baffled. “Why?”
“What Drew said earlier is correct.” He meets my eyes. “We’re hoping a wife may provoke Cecile to return.”
“Wouldn’t a wife make her less likely to come back?” I would certainly write off an ex who remarried, the wedding proof positive that he had recovered, and gotten over me.
He gives me a wry grin, a casual gesture that makes my heart stop and my knees weaken. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him smile when it wasn’t for the cameras. “You don’t know Cecile. She is very competitive, very possessive. The thought of me with a young, beautiful woman … it can’t hurt.” He shrugs. “I’ve tried everything else.”
“So you want to stay married?” The last few hours, my mind had been making plans for Life After Nathan. Staying married … it was a thought that had never crossed my mind.
“Yes. Assuming, of course, you are willing.”
I sit, wanting, more than anything, to put some distance between us. I can’t function properly when he is close to me, his scent too sexual for me to ignore.
I block out his sex appeal and force myself to remember that I am miserable as Nathan’s wife, the rules too constrictive, the control unbearably tight. I shake my head. “I don’t think I can do that. At least not with how things are now.”
He cocks his head. “What do you mean?”
“The rules … how you are with me. I understand it now; you were keeping things from me and trying to keep me from having feelings for you … but I am miserable.”
He frowns. “Is it the sex or everything else?”
I hesitate. “Both, really. The sex …” I blush, despite myself. My face should be immune to blushing, especially in the area of sexual conversation. And Nathan certainly doesn't seem uncomfortable. I swallow. “The sex is great, at least for me. I don’t mind exhibitionism so much, but not in front of Drew—that bothers me.” I try to say the words casually, try to not give away anything more than what I intend. "And … that night." I shudder. "With that guy." I look up at him, my face resolute. "I will never do something like that again."
He nods, his eyes on mine, our gazes locked in a stare that I can't pull away from. "I'm sorry for that. I thought …" He shrugs.
"I'd love to know the rest of that sentence."
His eyes harden, my tone one I have never used with him. But things need to change, our playing field to level.
"There were two reasons for that. One was because it turns me on seeing your mouth wrapped around another man’s cock." His blunt words make me blink, the heat behind them causing a curl of desire in my belly. "Second, I did it to keep distance between us. To remind you that I was in control, and to stop you from harboring any illusions of romance."
That causes me to laugh, a short bark of disbelief. "Romance? Believe me Nathan, you have made that abundantly clear. I didn't need to suck a stranger's dick to figure that out."