Wes beamed at her. “Now we’re talking. What else?”
Contract negotiations were like a drug to him. She was happy to give him his next fix.
After Wes finally returned her to her hotel room, a face-splitting smile still in place as she closed her door, she pulled out her phone and collapsed on the bed. The first time Dawn tried calling Kellen to share her news—her scary decision, one that could affect their future together—he didn’t answer. Perhaps he was asleep; it was after one in the morning. But then she remembered it was closer to six in the evening where he was, so unless he took evening naps, he wouldn’t be sleeping. Maybe his band had reconciled, gotten back together, and he was rehearsing for that night’s performance. That would be so awesome. Then she wouldn’t have to feel the slightest bit of guilt for her career gains.
She had made the right decision, hadn’t she?
It still didn’t feel right, but maybe after she joined her co-writers and actually got to work, her heart would open to this idea as much as her head had.
She got ready for bed, wanting to steal a few hours of sleep or at least rest before catching her flight in about six hours. She could never sleep on a plane, no matter how long the flight or how tired she was. She’d have to be at the airport in four hours. Before she climbed between the sheets, she tried Kellen again. This time he answered.
“Dawn,” he said, a breathless hitch in his voice. “I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not the kind of guy who cheats. I should have never . . . I shouldn’t have . . . I’m sorry.”
Wait? Did he say he cheated? The man who had remained faithful to his deceased fiancée for five years couldn’t keep it in his pants for one day for her?
“What?” she said, plopping down on the bed and drawing a pillow to her lap. She hugged it against her belly, which was suddenly heavy and achy. Or maybe that was her heart down there hurting so bad. It had definitely sunk at his confession.
“He looked so sad and he was so close and I still don’t understand why I wanted him right then—I wasn’t even tied up. But it was like I couldn’t help myself, and once I got started, I couldn’t stop.”
Wait? Did Kellen say he?
“You slept with Owen?” It was even worse than she’d realized. She knew Kellen cared about Owen. This wasn’t just some random affair with someone he didn’t have feelings for.
“Slept with?”
She actually heard him swallow over the phone.
“No. I kissed him.”
Dawn covered her mouth with a trembling hand and tried to calm her breathing. Kellen kissing Owen was a betrayal, she couldn’t deny that, but she could get over it. She could forgive him for that. But only if it never progressed. If it hadn’t meant anything.
Of course it meant something.
“Was it like a little kiss?” she asked.
“I wish I could say it was. Maybe then he’d speak to me.”
“So he wasn’t pleased?” Her crumbling world stopped falling apart.
“Pleased?” Kellen’s scoffing snort sounded desperate. “No, he wasn’t pleased. He was upset over Chad, and I made it worse for him. God, what the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Start from the beginning.” Maybe once he explained, she wouldn’t be so confused.
He told her everything. The way watching Owen with Caitlyn had made him feel lost and almost jealous, how being around Lindsey no longer made him feel like Sara was watching him, how Jacob’s strange interview on the evening news had made him doubt Sole Regret would survive their separation, and the devastating news concerning Chad. She tried to be supportive through it all. Parts of his long spiel gave her hope, other parts made her nervous, but most of it just broke her heart.
“You were upset too, Kelly,” she said. “You were hurting too. And no one was there to comfort you, so you reached for Owen.” Dawn wished she’d been there so she’d have been the one he reached for. And now that she’d agreed to sign that contract, she’d be there for him less, not more. She supposed there was no reason to hold back the truth from him. What had been her good news to share suddenly became more bad news for him. “I’m going to sign the contract to do the scores for the Steinberg movies.”
“Oh,” he said. “If that’s what you want to do, then you should.”
She wasn’t sure it was what she wanted to do. Now more than ever she was filled with doubt. “I think it will be best.”
“Don’t sign just to get back at me for hurting you.”
Kellen wasn’t usually self-centered, so his words cut her. Did he really think she was stupid and emotional enough to make that kind of decision to get back at a man for hurting her?
“I decided before I knew you rammed your tongue down Owen’s throat.”
That was how she got back at a guy for hurting her, by cutting him to the quick. Not by signing a life-altering contract.
“Oh,” he said flatly. “I really am trying to distance myself from everything and everyone important to me, aren’t I?”
That sounded more like the Kelly she knew.
“I don’t want you to distance yourself from me,” Dawn said. “I’m taking an early flight in the morning. I should be in Houston around three in the afternoon.”
“If you’re signing the contract, won’t you be going to Venice?”
“One of my conditions was that the contract doesn’t start until Friday. I said I needed time to get my affairs in order, but I really just needed to see you again. And apparently get your affairs in order.”
“I’m not having an affair, Dawn. I won’t cheat again,” he said. “I hate to do this over the phone. I want to look you in the eye when I pledge—”
“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t put yourself in the same position you were in with Sara. Don’t do that to yourself.”
“You don’t want me to promise?”
“I want you to follow your heart, and you can’t do that if it’s tied.” And if she wasn’t where his heart was leading, she’d suffer—God, how she’d suffer—but she didn’t want to be the one he settled for. She wanted to be the one he loved above all others.
“Do you think my heart wants Owen?” Kellen asked. “It doesn’t. It wants you.”
That was his head talking, and she knew it. She bit her lip and blinked, trying to hold back the tears swimming in her eyes. “I’m not sure I can let myself believe that right now.”
He was quiet for a long moment. “I understand.”
“Do you want me to come see you tomorrow in Austin or—” Because she would see him. She had not given up. She just didn’t want to hash this out over the goddamned phone while oceans separated them.
“Can I pick you up at the airport?”
“That’s a bit out of your way, isn’t it? I was going to rent a car.”
“If you don’t want to be trapped in a car with me, I understand, but I really need to be trapped in a car with you for a few hours.”