“But it’s true.” I stepped back, and his arms fell to his sides. “I mean, I’m still Ivy, but I’m also this . . . this thing, and you came to New Orleans to find the halfling. How can this be okay? Especially after what happened to your friend when you were growing up? And now that Kyle and Henry are here, members of the Elite who know that Val wasn’t the halfling, how can any of this be okay?”
His emerald gaze flickered over my face. “Because I will make it okay.”
Ren said it so simply that I almost believed him. I opened my mouth, but there weren’t any words, so I just shook my head. I didn’t understand how he could make it okay.
Ren reached for me. “Ivy—”
I held up a hand, warding him off for reasons I didn’t fully understand. “You called me a ‘thing’ after I told you that I loved you, and then you left me standing on the street. And look, I’m not really even judging you for that. Yeah, it was kind of shitty, especially since you disappeared afterwards, but I dropped a massive truth-bomb on you. So I get why you needed time to deal with everything, but I don’t get—”
Ren moved fast, curling one hand around the nape of my neck, and before I could take my next breath, his mouth was oh-so close to mine. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, but I was shocked,” he said. “Now I’ve had time to think about it and everything will be okay.”
It was like my brain had shut down and I’d lost all critical thinking abilities, because I heard what he was saying, but I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. There had been a tiny part of me which had hoped Ren would accept what I was when I told him, but I had recognized how foolish and na?ve that was. Our duty had been ingrained in us since birth. To Order members, fulfilling our duty was the most important aspect of our lives, and with Ren being an Elite, even more so.
I could hope all I wanted, but reality was . . . well, it was the cold, harsh truth that was inescapable.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
I blinked. “What?”
“Would you like to get something to eat?” Ren drew back and a half-grin appeared on his face.
All I could do was stare at him.
His grin increased, but I didn’t notice any dimples. He reached down and took my hand. “Let’s eat.”
In such a state of shock, I let him lead me out of the park and across the street to Cafe Du Monde. I stood there when we got in line, painfully aware of his cool hand wrapped around mine. When I looked up at him, I found him staring at me, and I was pretty sure he hadn’t stopped doing that since he’d said my name.
“Is this some kind of joke?” I asked.
His brows furrowed. “I do not see how since I’m not sure why this would be funny.”
A plug was sealing off my throat as I whispered, “Okay. Is this some kind of plan then? You pretend everything is okay and then hand me over to the other Elite members?”
Ren shook his head and leaned over. His lips were close to my ear. “This is not a trap, Ivy. And the Elite will never get their hands on you.”
I started to respond, but that plug had completely cut off my ability to speak, so I nodded and then stared straight ahead, tears blurring my vision. Was this really happening? Ren was here and he forgave me? Everything was okay, and we were going to order some beignets?
Apparently that was what was going to happen. We ordered beignets for takeout and a bottle of water to share. There was a table open on the pavilion, which was another oddity that I had to chalk up to the mere presence of Ren.
I watched him open the container and pull one of the beignets apart. All of this was incredibly surreal, like I’d wake at any moment and be devastated to discover this was just a dream.
It took several minutes for me to be able to trust that I could speak without breaking down. Even after waiting and finding something sort of normal to talk about, my voice was hoarse. “Have you . . . checked in with David?”
He shook his head. “I will later. He’s not really my priority right now.”
I widened my eyes. “He’s so not going to like the sound of that.”
“I cannot say I care.” Another quick flash of a grin.
Oh, he was going to care when David laid into him. “What about Kyle? Henry? He—”
“They’re not really my concern either.” He paused as he held the pastry between his fingers. “Are you going to eat?”
Feeling out of it, I snatched up a beignet and took a bite. Of course, powdery sugar exploded everywhere, but I barely tasted the fluffy piece of heaven.
Ren took a bite of his beignet and his face twisted with disgust. He turned and pitched it into a nearby trashcan.
“Was there something wrong with your beignet?” I asked, brow raised.
He brushed the powdered sugar off his fingertips. “It didn’t taste right.”
I chewed mine and paid attention to it this time. “Mine’s fine.”
Ren shrugged. “Didn’t like it.”
“That . . . that is sacrilegious.”
One side of his mouth quirked up. “I can think of a lot more interesting and naughty things that would be considered sacrilegious besides throwing away a beignet.”
I warmed at his words but was hesitant. I finished eating my beignets, then took a gulp of water.