Ren’s thumb made a lazy circle, but his eyes weren’t on me; he was focused on the men talking. I’d met him countless times at these types of events, and knew his reputation for being too grabby with young women, but I normally wasn’t in a position for him to be able to keep touching me. And now I didn’t know how to get him to stop without embarrassing Collin or his dad in front of the mayor. I glanced behind me to see Knox watching me with a mix of disgust and anger, and started panicking as Ren’s hand moved down and squeezed my bicep, then started making soft circles with his meaty fingers. I tried clearing my throat near Collin’s ear and hitting my knuckles against his side, but I was only aggravating him, judging by the way his breathing was slowly getting more pronounced.
Collin finally turned his head to look at me, and I knew in his eyes that if he hadn’t noticed Ren’s hand, his fingers would have been digging into me within seconds. His eyes flashed over to Ren’s face, then back to his hand, but his calm fa?ade never wavered. With no more than a few words, Collin excused us from the group and spun me away from Ren’s grasp.
As soon as we were walking away, he spoke against the side of my head. “Nobody touches what is mine,” he sneered, but thankfully it was clear his anger wasn’t directed at me anymore. “I don’t care about Ren’s work relationship with my dad or his position with the city—you do not have to put up with that; do you understand? If he touches you again, find a better way to get my attention.” Another few feet passed before he growled, “Tell me you understand.”
“Yes. Thank you,” I said.
Despite the glimpse of the Collin I’d once loved, it only ended up being that—a glimpse. Over the next forty minutes I messed up too many times, and Collin’s anger with me continued to grow. I knew I could have done a better job at being the wife Collin thought I should be; I just couldn’t concentrate.
I could feel Knox’s eyes on me, and it was too easy to turn and find him. But I was terrified that if I looked at him, Collin would notice. Forcing myself to look away from what my soul reached for was draining and taking every ounce of focus I had. I knew I needed to get it together, I needed to start impressing Collin even; but Knox was there. There. As was Collin. And both were incredibly pissed-off. The only good part of the night was that Ren had already left with a girl my age.
“You know what I’m finding hilarious?” Collin asked as he pulled me away from the latest couple we’d been speaking with, his lips brushing my ear. “It seems like for the past hour I’ve had to convince people you love me. You’re holding yourself stiff and away from me, you seem distracted and your responses are delayed, and you’ve barely made eye contact with me. Now tell me, Harlow, why would I have to convince all these people that my wife loves me? Better yet, why would I have to try to convince myself that she still does?”
I froze. In the years of going through all this, in the years of him having sex with someone who couldn’t bear to look at him or take part in it, Collin had never questioned my love for him. Dread filled me, making it feel like there were hands gripping and twisting my stomach. His questioning something like this would end horribly. “Collin, don’t be ridi—”
“Do not speak.” His fingers dug into the inside of my forearm, and my mouth immediately popped open, a harsh breath blowing past my lips. “Don’t show your pain, Harlow,” he warned.
I snapped my mouth shut and tried to control my expression, but I knew I wasn’t succeeding when his fingers pressed in harder.
“Do not show your pain,” he gritted out—his smile never wavered.
I clenched my jaw and somehow managed to plaster a tight-lipped smile on my face.
Collin’s lips ghosted along my neck. “Do you love me, Harlow?” His grip loosened enough to allow me to answer.
I loathe you with every fiber of my being. I turned my face toward his so our cheeks were touching, knowing I had to play this the right way and answer correctly. Saying something as simple as “of course I do” would set him off.
Swallowing back my hate, I glanced over Collin’s shoulder to the man who owned me and shut my eyes—keeping Knox’s face in my mind as I said, “It hurts me that you would even ask that.” I lifted the hand that wasn’t being controlled by a pressure point to brush at Collin’s blond hair, and let my eyes finally meet his as I made a decision that would spare me now, and cost me later. “I lied to you earlier, and I’m so sorry I did; I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you,” I said with a gentle smile on my face. “I don’t feel well; the last few days have been iffy for me. I’ve been tired and nauseous. I really think when we take the test next week, this will be it for us.”
Collin’s face fell and his fingers instantly released me before his blue eyes brightened, and a smile I rarely saw lit up his face. “Harlow,” he breathed.
“I just didn’t want to get your hopes up since we’ve had such a hard time getting pregnant, and like I said, I didn’t want to ruin tonight. But faking loving you? Collin . . .” I let the lingering pain in my arm lace through my voice for emphasis.
He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to mine briefly before dropping his forehead onto my own. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. God, baby, I want this for us so bad.”
I let my lips tilt up in a smile. “Me, too.”
“You really think this is it?”
“I do,” I said. The lie came easily. “At least, I’m hoping it is. I just—I’m trying not to let myself get too excited yet, you know?”