How is it that no one, not Mr Redington nor Mr Pruitt nor the author of this photography manual, ever thought to mention such a peculiar occurrence? Everything is on its head! It is embarrassing to admit, but for some time I had the irrational thought that I must have attached the lens incorrectly, or somehow inverted the camera when I put it on the tripod, but no matter how I turn the camera, the image on the ground glass remains the same?—?upside down!
It was only after a ridiculous amount time that it occurred to me that, of course, it does not matter, for once the exposed plate is developed, one might turn it any way one desires. Yet it is a unique and vexing challenge to try to align the scene before me with that which appears on the ground glass. When I want to include more of the ceiling, for example, I find myself adjusting the camera downward, for that is where the ceiling lies on the image before me!
It is perhaps best that Charlotte is gone these few days (her mother is preparing to have another child), for the quiet and solitude allows me to sort through some of the mysteries of this apparatus. It was great trouble just to determine how to unlatch the tailboard, unfold the camera, attach the lens, also put the tripod upright and secure the camera. I assembled it in the sitting room, pulled the black cloth over my head, and focused the image of our sofa onto the ground glass, and then pretended to take the picture of the sofa, but only by sliding in an empty plate holder.
All this does not seem like much, written on the page, but in fact it took me most of the day. It is unfortunate that all daylight vanished before I could move out of doors and take my first photograph, but there is tomorrow.
May 28
It has been one of the most extraordinary days of my life!
In the shadowy, red glow of my dark room, a tree revealed itself to me, stark white branches against a black sky, like an otherworldly ghost of a once living tree.
I confess that when I lowered the glass plate into the developing solution, I had no faith that anything would transpire. I gently rocked the tray, the liquid washing around the glass. And then, where there was nothing before, there appeared the poplar tree, and I do not exaggerate when I write that it felt to me a revelation.
I was for a moment transfixed with wonder, but then I recalled all that I must do next. Quickly I rinsed the plate in water (I see now that I will need to haul many pails of water to keep on hand in the dark room) and then I placed the glass in a solution of hypo-sulfite of soda.
I will not lie; the photograph itself is a failure and does no justice to Mother Nature. The tree has been flattened and stripped of its lovely detail. It is blurred, for I must have jostled the camera as I replaced the cover to the lens. Yet as imperfect as it is, I am still in awe of its creation.
May 30
Sunny and quite hot this day. I did not go far afield, but remained near the parade grounds as the men were not at their drills, and still I was drenched with sweat by the time I carried all of my heavy equipment and assembled it. Many birds were about, but I yet to see how I will ever capture one in a photograph. The camera requires focus and planning that does not take into account the quick movements of flight.
Also, a letter from Mother today. I am most grateful for her kindness, for she simply wrote that she was saddened that I should suffer such loss and that she hoped I was healing well, with not a hint of her characteristic admonishments. “Be still and cool in thy own mind and spirit.” Words I have always found comforting, and I confess I was glad to again be wrapped in Mother’s intimate plain speech of thee and thou.
She went on to say that she has volunteered to write a pamphlet in support of equal education, and though she is not comfortable leaving the house much, she hopes she can be an asset to the movement even from afar.
I am reminded that for all her austerity, it was Mother who instilled in me a sense of just treatment of our fellow human beings. Without her, would I be any different than the woman who stepped on the Chinese boy, or those who would see Indian women and children locked in jails?
June 1
Charlotte is returned and says her mother and new infant sister are faring well. While I wish to be filled only with joy for her family, I cannot deny a certain pang of sadness, even envy.