Danny remembered her face on the day her older brother’s auto flipped and crashed, killing him instantly. Her skin had been bone white, her eyes hollow and dark like a flame blown out from a lantern. He’d felt the tremor between her body and his as he held her, as she wept and said that it was her fault. That William was dead because of her.
Of course that wasn’t true. She couldn’t have known it would happen, hadn’t thought to check her brother’s auto that day. It had been having problems, she said. She should have done more. Her sisters and remaining brother would blame her.
It had been ten months, and Danny still saw remnants of Cassie’s terror each time he took off in his auto. He wanted to tell her he knew the taste of guilt, but the bitter burn on his tongue prevented him from saying anything. He knew it wouldn’t give her any comfort. Her loss was finite, irreversible. His loss was caught in suspension.
“It’ll be all right, Cass,” he said gently. “I know you’ll do a good job.”
Her mouth quivered before she pressed it into a firm line. Nodding, Cassie stood and redid her braid, resettling her mood just as she resettled the strands of hair.
“There’s something else, isn’t there?” she asked. “You’ve that look.”
“It’s nothing.” But he considered it again, the thought standing with its toes curled over the very forefront of his mind, waiting to swan dive into the open.
The color of amber. The sweet smell of mechanical oil. Colton’s lips.
“Danny Hart, your face is red!” She tried to pinch his cheeks, but shrieked when Danny picked her up.
“I’ll find the nearest body of water and toss you in it,” he warned her.
“All right, all right!” He put her down. “You’re a touchy bloke, you know that?”
Would it really be so bad if Cassie knew? He could still see a fragment of fear caught in her eyes. He could provide her with a distraction at the least.
Ducking his head, Danny mumbled, “A boy kissed me.”
Cassie drew in a breath to shout her glee, but Danny slapped a hand over her mouth just in time. She swatted him away to reveal a Cheshire Cat grin.
“Who was it? Where? Do I know him? How old is he? Is he good-looking?”
Danny wished he had a shield against the onslaught of questions. He picked one at random. “It was in Enfield, on assignment.”
“Did it just happen?”
He nodded.
“Oh, that’s marvelous! Who was it?”
He shrugged and looked at his feet. “Just some bloke.”
Danny had been kissed before, but only twice. Once by Cassie when they were twelve, to see what being kissed by a girl was like. She’d been offended that he hadn’t liked it very much. The second time had been by Barnaby Slacks, a fellow apprentice, a few years later. Danny had liked that much better. But Barnaby had been relocated to Leicester after causing some trouble on his assignments, along with any chance of them growing closer. Since then, Danny had been too shy and too busy, and no one had been willing. Until now.
A clock spirit, of all things.
Cassie’s face fell. “You don’t even know his name?”
“No. Didn’t ask.”
“Well, did you like it, then? Did he kiss the way you like?” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Did he use his tongue?”
“Cass!”
“C’mon, I want to know! If you can tell anyone, it’s me.”
He crossed his arms. He had no idea how to answer, because he honestly didn’t know. Liked it? Yes, of course. Impossible not to. But caution was slowly taking over that curious, shameful feeling initially mistaken for excitement.
He knew what happened to those who became too involved with their projects. Compulsive cleaning, installing unnecessary parts, and excessive tinkering had all landed mechanics in trouble. An entire town had been Stopped because of this sort of misguided enthusiasm.
Now that Danny knew the truth, he had a rather good idea of what happened three years before. The clock spirit of Maldon must have reacted when Matthias left, much in the same way Colton had harmed himself to get attention. Only the Maldon spirit hadn’t just harmed herself; she’d destroyed herself, perhaps as punishment, or out of grief, or rebellion.
This would cause nothing but trouble.
“Danny? You all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Cassie’s blaze of excitement died down to only the embers of interest. She gripped his arm. “Don’t worry, no one’s bothered by it. Your mother isn’t, despite whatever she says about grandchildren and all that nonsense.”
Danny was confused until he realized that she wasn’t talking about clock spirits. “That’s not—” He rubbed a hand against his face with a sigh. “Never mind.”
“Now who’s being dramatic? Really, Dan, you’ve nothing to worry about.”
Though he doubted that, he made himself smile for her. He reached into the wallet, but found a humiliating truth awaiting him.
“Cass,” he murmured, “I don’t have enough.”
Her eyes winced in sympathy. “That’s all right. We’ll do it in installments, yeah?”
Which meant he’d have to dip into his new auto savings. Danny handed her a pound to start with. “Fix it up, all right?”
“You know I will, don’t offend me so. You go on home and rest. And Dan?” He turned to find her glowering. “Next time, you better be decent and find out the bloke’s name.”
He didn’t want to tell her there wouldn’t be a next time.