Something in my chest swelled, and it felt a lot like my heart. I was still breathing heavy, but my pulse was starting to slow down. I closed my eyes as I loosened my death grip on his shirt. “Do you . . . want to play tit for tat now?”
He chuckled in the way that made me shiver. “I want to kiss you again. I want to peel those pants off you and get in between those thighs with more than my hand,” he said, voice low, and a fire swept through my veins as he spoke. “I remember kissing you. I remember holding you in my arms. I remember touching you that one time.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “You remember that?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. How could I forget? It had been the first time I’d gone to his apartment he shared with another deputy. We’d hung out in his room, watched a movie, and one thing led to another. His hand had worked its way inside my pants and mine had done the same thing.
It had been as amazing as tonight.
“Never got to feel you like I want to though.” He tilted his head, and his nose glided over mine. “Never got to know how you taste. So, that’s what I really want to do.”
I bit down on my lip to stop from moaning. At the moment, I liked the idea of him discovering all those things. Really liked the idea, and maybe slowing down was smart. Both of us obviously were feeling something, and going too fast, jumping back into this or into something we hadn’t shared in our past, could blow up in our faces.
My fingers splayed across his chest. “But you’re not going to,” I said, opening my eyes. I looked up at him, and I took a deep breath, really let myself be right where I was, and where I was gave me one of the best views of a lifetime. His handsome face open and warm, within grasp. And I could touch him, because he was actually here and this wasn’t some fantasy I’d concocted over the years, so I touched him. I lifted a hand from his chest and ran the tips of my fingers over his cheek, memorizing the feel of the short, rough stubble. “So we should . . . talk more then.”
A half smile appeared. “I don’t think tit for tat is going to cover it.”
My heart fluttered when he turned his cheek and kissed my fingertips. That was new, something he hadn’t done in the past. “Probably not.”
“But it’s late, and I do have to get up early to head into Baltimore.” Thick lashes lowered, shielding his eyes. “I’m not going to get back until late tomorrow, but do you think you can manage to do dinner Saturday night?”
Doing dinner again when Angela was missing didn’t seem right, but if I’d learned anything from my past, it was that life doesn’t pause, no matter what terrible or even wonderful things are happening. Life keeps ticking on. So I nodded.
“Perfect.” Dipping his head, he kissed me, and then he was sitting up between my legs. Catching my hands, he pulled me up into the sitting position. “You want me to cook or are you up to going out?”
I was a little dazed, so it took me a few moments to gather my thoughts. My first response was to say he could cook, but that was also another way I’d be hiding. “We can go out. It’ll have to be later,” I said before I changed my mind. “After I help Mom with dinner service.”
Cole smiled at me. “That works for me.”
Straightening my sweater, I managed to get my feet on the floor. I stood, pressing my fingers to my still-tingling lips. I turned, discovering that he was watching me, still grinning. Flushing and feeling like I was almost a decade younger, I dropped my hand. “Is there anything I can get for you? A heavier blanket or . . .” Why was I making him sleep on this couch? It was a nice, comfy couch, but he was a long guy and the fact he’d slept on it last night was insane. Two nights in a row was unnecessary.
“I’m fine, babe.”
My mouth dried as I stared at him. “You can . . . sleep with me.”
His brows flew up. “I—”
“Not have sex with me. But sleep with me.” I ignored the burning flush that was racing down my throat. “The bed is big enough. You saw that last night.”
“Yeah.” His voice did that dropping thing that caused my belly to do the same. “Yeah. I saw that.”
My shoulders rose in a deep breath. “If you’re insistent upon staying here, there’s no reason you should sleep on the couch.”
He shifted. “I can think of several good reasons why I shouldn’t get in that bed with you.”
Air caught in my throat and that warmth turned heavier, spreading out across my chest. I tugged the ends of the cardigan together. “We’re both adults. We can sleep in the same bed and behave ourselves.”
“You have a lot of faith in us.”
I narrowed my eyes. “It’s not like we’re going to slip and fall on one another.”
He smirked. “I do hate when that happens.”
I rolled my eyes, but my lips twitched. “Look, the option is there. I can handle it. If you discover that you have the willpower, the door will be unlocked.”
Cole’s head cocked to the side, and I held his gaze for a few moments before I murmured goodnight and then all but dashed into the bathroom. He was still out in the living room when I closed my bedroom door.
He wasn’t going to come in here.
A weird mixture of disappointment and relief swirled inside me as I stripped off my sweater and climbed into bed. Stretching out, I started to turn off the nightstand lamp. My bedroom door opened and Cole came in. I froze.
“This is probably a bad idea,” he said, walking to the other side of the bed. “Or maybe I’ll surprise myself.” His gaze flickered over to me. “You’re not wearing that nightie, so that’s a plus on the whole behaving-myself side.”
I might’ve stopped breathing.
Cole placed his gun on the other nightstand as he toed off his boots. “But you’re right. Sleeping on that couch sucks and this bed looks amazing.”
“It is,” I murmured.
“Mainly because you’re in it,” he added, reaching back to the nape of his neck with one hand. He pulled his shirt over his head and then off. He tossed it to the bench in front of the bed.
And I really did stop breathing for a little bit then.
It had been a long time since I’d seen him shirtless and even though I could feel all the gloriousness under his shirt, it was nothing like seeing it for real. His pecs were defined, as were his abs. He wasn’t overly muscular. He had the lean, cut body of a runner. He also had those indents on either side of his hips.
His hands went to the button on his jeans. There was a noticeable bulge there. One I’d felt earlier. “You keep staring at me like that and every good intention I have is going to go out the damn window.”
Cheeks flushing, I twisted onto my side, away from him, and squeezed my eyes shut. Pants hit the floor. A second later, the bed dipped and the covers shifted. Then he rolled, reaching over me. My eyes flew open. “What are you doing?”
“Turning off the light,” he answered, and did just that. The room plunged into darkness. He didn’t move away though. I could tell he was raised on one elbow. His hand found my blanket-covered hip. “Everything is locked up.”
My heart was pounding. “Thank you.”