Vaughn had only been asleep for an hour when the pounding on his motel room door started. He jackknifed into a sitting position and reached for his weapon, a move that had remained a constant throughout his three different walks of life. Street trash, soldier, security specialist. The coolness of Vaughn’s Walther PPS greeted his palm from its position on the bedside table; his feet landed on the tightly woven carpet without a sound. At least his sleepless night hadn’t robbed him of his physical abilities along with his mental ones.
Not entirely sleepless. He’d dreamed of the bar. The deed…and the gut-wrenching decision that had come after. If he wanted to earn River’s trust back—and he did, more than life—she needed to know what really happened that night. But how did he tell someone he’d lied right to her face, that he’d never stopped loving her—not for a single damn second—but in the course of trying to do the right thing, he’d inadvertently caused life-altering heartache on both of their ends? How did he confess to a lie that had left River a single mother, doing the hardest of jobs alone?
If River hadn’t hated him before, she would once she knew. He’d let outside forces keep them apart, when he’d sworn to her countless times he wouldn’t. At the very least she would resent him for making such a monumental decision without her consent, or even a conversation.
Vaughn shook his head to clear it of the debilitating memories and approached the motel room door, double-checking the safety was off as he went. Without moving the cheap polyester curtain, Vaughn peeked out through a gap—and found Duke staring back at him from the other side of the window.
With an irritated grunt, Vaughn replaced the safety and unlocked the door. “What the fuck.”
“Good morning to you, too, sweetheart,” Duke returned, ducking beneath the doorframe to enter the room. “Nice digs.”
Vaughn shrugged. “Beats a sleeping bag in the desert.”
“Barely,” Duke returned, but they exchanged a look, ghosts from overseas floating briefly across their lines of vision. “How’s things with River? You two are the talk of the town. Will they rekindle their star-crossed romance or won’t they? Everyone is on the edge of their seats.”
“Were you always this much of a smart ass?”
“Yes.”
The bed groaned beneath Duke’s mass as he dropped onto the edge. When he merely crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, Vaughn cursed under his breath. “Things are…good in some ways, complicated in others. I met Marcy.” He felt his mouth bend into a smile and didn’t bother trying to dampen it. Not the way he once might have. “She’s amazing. I wish I…”
“Spit it out.”
He threw his friend a look, wondering why being bullied appeared to be the only way talking came easy. “I wish I had more right to feel proud.”
“You’ll get there,” Duke rumbled.
Vaughn leaned back against the bureau, finally setting his gun down and easing it away. “I told Riv I’m staying, that I want to be a real father. But it doesn’t seem right unless I’m River’s husband, too. I’m supposed to be her husband.” He cleared the emotion out of his throat, then threw Duke a look brimming with annoyance. “Why aren’t you uncomfortable talking about this?”
Duke’s low laugh filled the room. “Man, I’ve got four sisters at home. They all got married and divorced while we were serving. All of them.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “They always were competitive, but without me here to intercede, it got out of control. Now I’ve got sisters coming out of my fucking ears. Are you hearing me? My life is non-stop emotion. Non-stop. Listening to your shit is a cake walk, compared to what I have to deal with.”
By the time Duke finished talking, Vaughn’s sides were aching with suppressed laughter. “Sounds like maybe you’re the one who needs to talk about his shit.”
“I need to be distracted from it,” Duke clarified. “What do you think I’m doing in this Miami Vice-themed junk hole at eight in the damn morning?”
Vaughn held up both hands. “All right, Crawford. I’ll distract y—” He broke off when a thought occurred. “Any of those sisters of yours babysit?”
Duke dropped his head into his waiting hands. “Yes. Please give them something to do. Just get them out of the house for one night so I can watch SportsCenter in my boxers.”
“I’ll talk to River,” Vaughn said. “Actually, that’s the whole point. I need to explain what happened before I left.” Or try anyway. “The talk with her father. What happened overseas. All of it. I just need to get her somewhere we’ll actually talk and not—”
“Bang like bunnies on spring break. I hear you.” A darker kind of light entered Duke’s eyes as he stood. “That’s the other reason I’m here. Colonel Moriarty called me again last night. Looking for you.”