Larry sighed, understanding when I didn’t, allowing Penn to enlighten me.
The intensity between us hummed as his gaze dropped to my lips then back to my eyes. He throbbed with frustration but most of all embarrassment.
His voice snapped, “Because I don’t want you seeing me like this...” His sudden temper couldn’t hide his anger. “It isn’t a good place, Elle. Having you here? It fucks me off all while making me so damn grateful that you’re willing to step foot inside just for me.”
He scrubbed his forehead with both hands, hiding behind his palms for a second. Inhaling hard, he murmured, “I fucking hate all of this and most of me wants to tell you to leave and never come back, while the other part wants to beg you to stay so I don’t have to be so goddamn alone. It fucking hurts that in a few minutes, I have to watch you walk away and I’m not allowed to go with you.”
He shook his head, a slave to his own crippling rage. “Goddammit, I feel like I’m going to explode.”
Larry looked around stealthily, vibrating calm. “Just keep it together for a little longer. You know the deal. Don’t do anything to warrant longer sentencing.” His face turned full of encouragement rather than pity. “Don’t worry about Elle. She’s here because she wants to be. Don’t deny her the right to see you.”
My throat swelled with so many things. I barely managed to breathe with the paralyzing need to touch him. To take away his pain, his loneliness, his entrapment. I would give anything to stay with him—regardless of where we were.
To realize that I would willingly trade my rich little life for a world of threadbare sheets and plastic furniture made me understand just how far I’d fallen with no comprehension of what I’d done.
He was hurting because of me. And I couldn’t do a damn thing to help.
My hands balled as I said, “I don’t care where you are, what you’re dressed in, or what you say. I want to be here because you’re here. Don’t make it sound like I’m not strong enough to be here for you.”
Temper I kept wound tight unspooled. “This isn’t about you anymore, Penn. This is about you, me, Larry. Us.”
His back turned ramrod straight. “Us?”
“Us.”
“Even after everything I’ve done?”
“What about everything I haven’t done?”
We sat staring, breathing, understanding the weight of our own admissions. He’d made me pay. I’d given him a reason to. We both suffered for it.
Penn leaned forward, placing his hands on the table. His voice was dark and raspy, filled with fervor. “I like that word.”
Almost unconsciously, I mimicked his position, placing my hands so close but not close enough to his. “What word?”
He glanced subtly left and right, checking where the guards were. Then, with his eyes capturing mine, he ran his pinky over my thumb, sending an electric fire bolt down my finger up my arm and directly into my heart. “Us. It gives me something to fight for.”
That one simple touch made me wet in an instant.
I trembled, eyes hooding. “Please...”
Us was a word connected to love, companionship, and family. Please was a word belonging to a request, a plea—a blatant demand for connection.
I hadn’t meant to moan it.
I didn’t mean to press against his fingers as if he could take away the unbearable desire in my blood with a simple touch.
But he felt too good.
Too real.
Too warm.
Too Penn.
All my remaining questions evaporated as he stroked me again, breathing, “Fuck, I want to kiss you.”
Larry cleared his throat in warning as a guard looked over at us. He didn’t care how passionate or reckless this conversation had become. He allowed Penn to sweep me away and believe for just as second we weren’t in a prison, we weren’t facing separation, we had all the time in the world to talk and build a bridge over the whitewater of our past.
Penn licked his lips as I ran my finger along his.
I completely forgot Larry sat beside me as I moaned, “I’d give anything to kiss you.”
That one piece of honesty allowed the rest to flow unhindered.
We tumbled over each other as I said, “I’m so sorry for not believing in you, Penn. There’s no way you could’ve been anyone else. I hope you can forgive me.”
While he said, “You hurt me, Elle, but fuck if I don’t care anymore. The past few weeks with you...I want more. I want to tell you who I am. All of it.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. “You go.”
“No, you.”
We laughed, our hands inching tighter, brushing pinky to thumb.
“Hey!” A guard pointed at us. “No touching.”
I yanked my fingers back but couldn’t swallow my smile. “We’re going to get you out of here. And then we’ll talk.”
“Then we’ll do a shitload more than just talk.” He smirked a little; moving from intense connection to lighthearted joking, a genuine smile breaking his lips. “Going back to my safety deposit box. I always knew you were nosy.”
I laughed softly. “Only where you’re concerned. And only because you never tell me anything.”
“He’ll tell you now, though, won’t you, Penn?” Larry asked, deadly serious, reinserting himself into the conversation. “Just like you’ll tell her the reason why you have Gio’s license is because you’re listed as his next of kin and agreed to keep his possessions safe.”
Larry turned his black-rimmed glasses onto me. “Gio and Penn have become friends thanks to me taking custody of Stewie. It was complicated for a while, but we’re all on the same side now.”
I liked how he barely knew me, but he was on my side as much as he was on Penn’s. I’d never met anyone so unbiased and willing to trust than him.
Penn’s forehead furrowed. “I know that must sound idiotic seeing as Gio hurt you that night and I roughed him up pretty good. But we’ve shared the same upbringing too long to turn away when the other needs help.”
I blinked away the memories of my clothes being torn in the alley. “I agree. Enemies can become friends. Sometimes, they make better friends as you know the worst.”
Penn shrugged. “I suppose.” His features shadowed, thinking of things that left a strain around his eyes. “A couple of years ago, I was your enemy.”
My heart skipped unhappily. I had no idea what he meant. “You were?”
His desire to talk faded. He reclined in his chair, hiding everything I needed to know. “Shit, I have so much to tell you but I can’t do it here.” He kicked the table leg, making it rattle.
A guard pointed at him in warning. “Quit it or you’re back in your cell.”
Larry rolled his eyes. “Plenty of time to talk later. Don’t get yourself riled up.”