She cried out as I held her close. My tongue licked her seam, begging for entry but not forcing, even though every cell in my body demanded to shove her back, climb on top, and show her in actions not words who I was.
It fucking hurt that she had to ask. That she looked at me and wasn’t convinced. That she could think such awful things about me. That she couldn’t see.
Her tiny fist connected with my sternum. If I hadn’t been punched there a few times already, it wouldn’t have registered over the sex haze in my brain. But she prodded a deep bruise, stealing my air, making me pull back.
“Stop touching me.” Her voice was a hiss, a threat, a plea.
I didn’t let her go, drinking in her rage, sinking into the vulnerability in her gaze. “How can you ask that question?”
She coughed in surprise. “What question?”
“Who I am?”
She bared her teeth. “Because I don’t know.”
“You do know. You’ve known all along.”
“Wrong. You’ve lied to me from day one.”
I shook my head sadly. “I never lied to you, Elle. Not once.”
She swatted away my hands, sucking in a breath. “You lied about everything.”
“Did I lie about how much I want you? Did I lie how much I—”
“You’re going to sit there and claim whatever it was between us was purely physical?”
“Is. Not was. It’s not past tense.” I took her hand, my cock hardening against the intoxicating buzz between us.
“Answer the question, Penn.” She tried to untangle her fingers from mine.
I didn’t let her.
I wanted to nod with conviction. To say the connection linking and pinging and zapping like nuclear energy was nothing more than shallow lust. But we both knew emotions had crept their sneaky asses into our lives long before we’d acknowledged it.
They’d been there since that very first night.
They’d been there every day for three goddamn years.
I’d hunted her down, invaded her life, and befriended her father because of emotion. To deny that would be the worst kind of lie because it would mean I’d have to lie to myself.
“I won’t say that because it’s not true.”
“Oh!” She rolled her eyes. “You’re finally going with truth.”
I scowled. “I promised, didn’t I?”
She laughed, hard and brittle. “Sorry if I don’t believe you. That I don’t believe you’re going to answer me honestly for the first time—”
“You dare lecture me on honesty?”
“You dare deny you’ve been anything but a liar?”
“Elle,” I snarled. “Don’t start an argument you can’t win. You want the truth. I’m giving you the truth. You’ve known the fucking truth all along.”
She stood up, knocking me sideways. My arm flew out, smashing her glass of water off the coffee table. Liquid spilled in a waterfall onto the brown and turquoise retro rug but I didn’t care.
She charged for the door.
Launching upright, I chased after her. My body hurt, my head pounded, but I caught her arm, spinning her to face me. “Stop.”
“Let me go.” She kicked my knees, anger painting red spots on her cheeks. “I don’t want to be here.”
“You do. You have to listen.”
“I don’t have to do anything.” Her chest puffed as she inhaled hard. “Let me go, Penn, or whoever you are.” Her face turned nasty. “Or should I say Gio or Sean.”
The world froze.
She remembered?
Christ, three years and she remembered.
Her father had said she was intelligent and I’d seen first-hand how capable and strong she was but to remember...fuck.
My heart raced. “My name is Penn.”
“But what was it three years ago?”
Passion raged through me. I wanted nothing more than to hurt her the way she’d hurt me. To force her to be honest the way she was asking me to be. Couldn’t she see she stabbed me with a blade each time she believed I wasn’t who I said?
“It’s always been Penn.”
Does that answer your question? See me. See who I am.
It would be so easy to come out and tell her. To wrap my lips around the words and reveal my secret. But just as I hated her three years ago, I hated her now for doubting. If what’d happened that night was real she shouldn’t have to ask.
She should know.
Just like I knew.
She should hurt as much as I did.
I’ll show her.
The ridiculous idea popped into my head. Wrapping my fingers around her throat, I marched her backward toward the kitchen wall. She stumbled, her hand coming up to fight against my hold. “Let—let me go.”
I didn’t stop, not when she tripped and I had to pluck her feet from the floor and hoist her into my arms, not when she kicked my shins as I crashed her against the wall, and not when I grabbed her chin, held her firm, and kissed her like she ought to have been fucking kissed for the past three years.
She was a virgin.
She’d waited.
I liked to think she’d waited for me. That her body had always been mine just like her heart. But I was in the habit of lying to others, not to myself, so I wouldn’t believe such fantasy.
Her tongue tangled with mine. Her breath feeding my lungs as I devoured her.
Her sharp moan made me pull back. Panting hard, I murmured, “I was there. I’ll tell you even though you already know. I’m—”
A fist hammered on my door. “Police. Open up.”
Elle froze in my arms.
My muscles atrophied in horror.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
I thought I’d have more time.
I thought I’d tell her. Explain why I’d acted the way I had, and then either win the lottery by having her forgive me or drive her home, so I knew she was safe.
It’s too soon.
I haven’t finished.
I knew they’d come for me. It was a risk I’d been willing to take. A chance I had to take to save her. But not so soon. Not before I could fix what I’d ruined.
“Elle, I’m—”
Her eyes flared wide as the pounding came again. “Penn Everett, open this door. Immediately.”
“Fuck.” I raked a hand through my hair, stepping away from Elle, seeing all my dreams and wishes evaporate into dust.
Elle slipped back onto her toes, smashing a hand over her mouth. “Oh, my God.”
I didn’t know if her sudden profanity was at our interruption or my roundabout confession. Her face shot white. Her eyes searching for something real, something she could latch onto and find—
“We know you’re in there. Open up!” the police barked, destroying everything—just like they’d destroyed the first night we met. Just like they destroyed my entire fucking life before I ever found Elle in that alley.
My gaze danced around my apartment, looking for something, anything, that I could use against what was about to happen.
But I was at a loss.
All because I’d let the violence in my blood carry me away.
My shoulders sank with depression. There was no getting around this. Unfortunately, this time, I deserved what would happen.
Larry is gonna be so pissed.
Swallowing hard, I glanced one last time at Elle and stalked to the front door. I opened it just as an officer raised his hand to thump again. “It’s open. Calm the fuck down.”