What had happened to warrant him leaving me alone in jail?
Even though fear pressed and tiredness fogged my mind, I held my head high and followed my guide. Passing through security, I signed out and pushed open the doors to return to freedom. The irony that I’d been a captive along with my mother wasn’t something I found humorous. I had my freedom now but how long would it be until she got hers?
My heart swelled with affection rarely felt toward her.
We’d both entered this calamity and survived with different habits and become someone entirely new.
In a way, I was glad. Perhaps this new mother-daughter existence would have a much closer bond than the previous version of ourselves. For once, I was looking forward to talking to her, answering her prying questions, and remembering how to be a member of a family.
Family...
Elder.
He was my family. He was the one I loved above all others—including myself.
Yet...he’d vanished.
Squinting in the newly appeared sunshine making a last hurrah before dusk fell, I spotted a black clad figure standing beside the sedan that travelled with the Phantom.
My heart leapt then plummeted as I recognised him.
Not Elder.
Selix.
Moving toward him, I struggled to contain the worried flutterings in my belly. “Where’s Elder?”
Selix cocked his head as he opened the back door for me. “He told me to inform you something urgent came up, and he had to attend to it.” His eyes flickered with the lie. “He’ll meet you in a couple of hours and escort you to Hawksridge Hall where the ball is taking place.”
Part of me wanted to stomp my foot and demand to be told the truth. To figure out why Elder had run and left his friend to feed me fibs. Yet the other part of me understood why.
I could understand how watching my mother and me rekindle our strained relationship could be taxing to anyone. What I’d said in there wasn’t nice or sugar-coated. My tears hadn’t been controlled or pretty.
But he knew me.
He knew where I’d come from. He’d been there. He’d waded through the blood and patched up my broken bones.
If he could do all that—stand beside me unflinching until today—then what had set him off? What made him run when we’d faced so much worse together?
Perhaps he regretted doing what he did for me. Maybe he second-guessed his willingness to get involved and needed some time on his own to revaluate his commitment now he knew more.
Or maybe...he wasn’t thinking about me at all? Maybe he’d sunk into his own private agony—his pain at never having an open-armed reunion with his family. My mother had withheld her love but had killed for me. His mother had lavished her affection and then banished him.
I was so lucky.
He was still alone.
My heart twitched and tore at the thought.
I’d been so selfish. Of course, he would be distraught at seeing two people who had never been close overcome their differences and unify.
I’m an idiot.
I rubbed my chest, doing my best to calm the lovesick muscle as I nodded at Selix. “Tell him to take all the time he needs.” I placed a leg into the car. “If you speak to him between now and tonight, can you please tell him I’m eternally grateful for everything he’s done for me. That he’s my family just like I hope I’m his, but if he’s reached his limit and needs space, then...” I looked away, fortifying myself for such traumatising words. “Tell him I understand, and he’s under no obligation.”
He smiled stiffly. “Will do. Now get in the car.”
I slid into the vehicle and held back the wobbliness of sadness and exhaustion as Selix slammed the door. That was what I liked about him. He was no-nonsense. He saw I was upset but didn’t take it upon himself to cajole or soothe.
His loyalties were to Elder, though I didn’t understand why as their bond bordered violence with a sprinkling of mutual respect.
At the start, I’d believed Selix was a servant loyal to his employer. That he was nothing more than paid help.
There was no way I thought that now.
Now, I believed Selix was there for his own purpose, and Elder would prefer them equals instead of the second-in-command role Selix preferred to play.
That’s all it is...a role.
A pantomime.
Just like Elder was playing the role as my protector.
He had his lines and delivery—following the script he wrote himself. However, I doubted abandoning me inside a prison while emotionally distraught was planned.
He must be hurting terribly.
I wish I was with him.
I wish he would let me help him.
Selix climbed into the driver’s seat, and, without a word, drove me to wherever I was meant to be.
*
The hotel room was opulent, but it wasn’t private.
As I entered the suite at some luxury establishment, I expected to have some time alone. Selix had checked me in and given me the keycard. He’d escorted me up in the elevator and left me to my own devices once I was safely deposited outside the room.
I’d happily accepted the reprieve. Readily looking forward to a bath, a nap, and perhaps some time to write a letter to No One.
My fingers itched to put my thoughts on paper after speaking them aloud for so long. Plus, the need to erase what I’d penned about my mother was the one thing keeping me going instead of collapsing into lethargy.
Yes, a note would help.
They always do...
As the door closed behind me and I entered the lounge, I froze.
Do I have the wrong room?
This one already had guests, and not one of them was Elder.
“Hello?” My voice sounded hollow to my ears. Mild shock that I’d spoken without thinking almost made me wish to be mute once again.
I didn’t want words.
I wanted letters.
I wanted No One.
I want Elder.
Living with trauma was a sneaky thing. Some days I was invincible—able to take on Elder and every obstacle in my path. And some days...some moments...those strengths vanished, leaving me shaking, panicking, and seeking all exits to flee.
This was one of those moments.
Backpedalling, all I saw were two women who weren’t invited, who I didn’t know, who could be part of any trafficking or racketeering scam.
“Get out.” I cursed the wobble in my tone.
A woman, with coiled brown hair and red lipstick, stood smartly from where she perched on the grey and navy couch in the window bay. “Ah, you’re finally here.” Clapping her hands, she summoned her friend to stand. They wore matching cream blouses with tailored black skirts and aprons with needles, tape, and chalk peeping from their front pockets.
“Who are you?” I grabbed a letter opener from the desk beside me, brandishing it. “What do you want?”
The women shared a look. The older of the two with ginger hair styled in a French twist held up her hands. “We’re not here to hurt you. You can put that down.”