One, two, three breaths before answering any of her softly murmured questions.
Second thing that happened that night—after a strained but survived dinner—I created her a dolphin out of a hundred dollar bill, quickly bringing the total of origami animals closer to a thousand in cash value. She watched me silently as my fingers creased and folded, accepting my gift with a heart-pounding smile.
Third, I walked her back to her room after dessert of raspberry cheesecake, keeping my hands, lips, and cock to myself as we traversed the deck beneath the Milky Way and entered the elevator side by side. I almost broke every finger from clenching my fists so hard with self-restraint, but I managed to escort her to her door and bow respectfully as she entered her room.
I didn’t try to kiss her.
I didn’t try to spend the night with her.
I managed to remain in control.
And fourth, when I entered my lonely quarters, and all I could think about was returning to Pim, I rolled a joint and pulled my cello from its home in the cupboard. With smoke stinging my eyes and drug-fake peace circulating through my blood, I placed my fingers on the frets and played.
I played soft.
I played loud.
I alternated between traditional classical and self-composed metal.
I created music until my joint was nothing but ash and my fingers bordered on splitting. My bow once again was shredded. And my eyes strained from staring at the door, begging for a midnight visitor.
Pim might have a lock on her door, but I didn’t. And instead of hoping she’d stay away, I spent the night begging her to come find me. In the midst of the song, I imagined her walking in dressed in a nightgown which fell from her body the moment she saw me. I hung onto the fantasy of her crossing the room, unperturbed by my music to sit on my lap, kiss me, and beg me to make love to her.
But she never came.
And I never went to see if her lock was engaged.
By the time I fell asleep and woke to dawn, I had a few emails to attend to from the warehouse and a couple of new enquiries requesting a consultation at the Hawk Masquerade. Turned out my attending that inconvenient affair had already circulated and the unwanted night’s entertainment would be profitable indeed.
Which I was thankful for as it was my six month mark. My next payment to my debt was due, and I had every intention of paying it. Even though the man I paid didn’t know me. Even though he had no clue how or why the money mysteriously entered his bank account.
Watching from afar, I’d witnessed my first righteous human when that initial instalment appeared in his account. Instead of staying quiet like greed demanded and claiming it as his own without knowing if it was true, he contacted the police to inform them of an incorrect deposit.
A deposit from an encrypted account in Monte Carlo valued at thirty million dollars.
I’d ensured his name, address, and phone number were listed on the transfer, so no one could doubt it was meant for him. For the reference number, all I’d put was...’from someone who owes you more than you know.’
The first instalment had been the smallest but the hardest. If it had been up to me, that amount would’ve had an extra zero attached. But Selix had forbidden it. He’d spoken sense at the time, so I’d settled with thirty instead of three hundred—hoping to buy off my never-ending guilt one repayment at a time.
Every six months since then, I paid another sum—always bigger than the first, steadily multiplying—forever working to the final tally I owed.
“Phone call for you.” My intercom buzzed, allowing Selix’s voice to interrupt my thoughts.
It was almost noon, and I’d been sketching a few amendments on Alrik’s (now Pim’s) yacht to ensure the build team got it perfect. I’d also been poring over nautical maps, both digital and paper, to figure out if and when the Chinmoku would make their stand.
Would they dare take me on in the middle of the sea? Would they have the right armada to become pirates as well as slavers? Or would they wait until I reached shore again? Would the Hawk Masquerade be too dangerous to take Pim?
Tossing down my pencil, I growled. “I’m not expecting any calls.”
Oh, wait.
I was. A sneaky, low-handed secret I’d done behind Pim’s back the night she’d returned to the Phantom. “Shit, she called back.”
“She did. You’ll want to talk to her.”
“Your bossy replies aren’t wanted this morning, Selix.”
“Your argumentative, stubborn ass isn’t wanted, either.” He chuckled. “Get up here.” He hung up before I could berate him.
Leaving my touch-ups on the desk, I stormed down the corridor from suite to office. Selix looked up as I slammed the door closed. I didn’t know where Pim was, but I didn’t want her to know what I was up to.
Not yet, anyway.
He held out the phone. “I had to accept the charges, and you only have five minutes according to the terms and conditions relayed before you got your ass here.”
Shoving the phone into my hand, he practically pranced to the exit. “Oh, and Pim has been asking about you. I told her you were working, but that excuse expires in a few hours. I’ll tell the chef to expect two for dinner.”
I gave him the one finger salute as I raised the phone to my ear.
A crackly voice came down the line. “Prest? Mr. Elder Prest?”
The air in my lungs evacuated in a rush. I knew that voice. That same voice turned me mad with fantasies and wishes and needs far beyond my control. However, it was harder, older, less loving, and more accusing than Pimlico’s.
Or should I say Tasmin’s?
Would Pim kill me for this or thank me?
Sucking up the oxygen I’d just expelled, I clutched the phone tighter. “Hello, Mrs Blythe. What a pleasure to finally talk to you.”
Chapter Twenty
Pimlico
DINNER STARTED OFF strained.
Elder acted differently.
As I reached for a helping of roasted vegetables, his eyes tracked me. Yet when I picked up my knife and fork and looked at him, he glanced away as if his own cutlery was far more interesting.
He seemed almost guilty of something.
But what?
Most of the day, I’d spent relaxing on my own and learning what it was like to be bored. I’d never known the concept before or after such an unusual fate. But now, as I hung on the Phantom wishing Elder would find me and put me out of my misery, and learning I could stare at the horizon for only so many hours before my thoughts annoyed me, I was ready for a task.
Any task.
I wanted to get back to work, and because my mind was now healthier and happier than it’d ever been, I turned to the last thing that’d stretched and formed it.
My university degree.
Psychology.
I found myself going over Elder’s body language without thinking. Finding hidden snippets of understanding in the way he touched me, looked at me, and up until now, had successfully hidden things from me.