This was supposed to be a happy moment.
I didn’t need to ruin it by mourning things I never wanted in the first place.
Carlyn softened, sympathy glowing in her hazel eyes. “Is there anything else you need? Anything at all? Money? Food? A change of clothes?”
I smiled gratefully. “That’s very kind of you. But along with being aggressive and gentle, that man out there is also extremely generous. Too generous most of the time.” I shivered with anticipation. “He’ll give me everything I need. He’s far too good to me.”
“No one can be too good to another.” Motioning for me to stand, she tugged her suit jacket into a more military precision. “How will you return to England without a passport or identification? I know you’re not a minor, but I need to know you’re going to be okay on your own.”
Her brusque question didn’t hide the affection in her tone. These past couple of days had been hard, but somehow, I’d made a friend in this detective.
I wanted to assure her I was no longer her problem, but I couldn’t give away too much. The safe road of information was narrow with cliffs of secrecy on either side.
“My friend will get me home. He err—” has a yacht and staff and has no problem breaking the law to get what he wants. “—he’ll help me apply for a new passport at the embassy, I’m sure.”
My body tingled at the thought of seeing Elder, touching him, embarking on the Phantom with him.
Unless...
My shoulders fell.
Unless he wasn’t here to take me the rest of the way.
Unless this was just a courtesy to break me out of jail and then dump me back on the streets.
Just because he was here to free me didn’t mean he was any better equipped to have me infiltrate his space again, sharing his bed...wrecking his mind.
My heart wept at being so close yet so eternally far from what I wanted.
Suck it up.
Self-pity is not becoming.
Sniffing up my fears, I smiled brightly. “He’ll find a way. You don’t need to worry.”
Carlyn frowned but finally conceded. “Well, I’ll give you a copy of your paperwork and fingerprints. Perhaps that will help get some form of identification.”
I dramatized a shiver, doing my best to seem normal and able to joke now that the horror of jail had passed. “Rocking up to an airport with a police file for stealing? I can’t see that going very well.”
She laughed, relaxing just like I intended. “Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour through all this.”
“I have my moments.”
She chuckled.
A companionable but awkward silence fell.
Our time together had come to an end.
She’d finished her job.
Elder had come to continue it.
I was ready to pass from her custody into his.
She stood taller and in a stage-whisper said, “I guess it’s time to see what that man out there is screaming about.”
Finally.
Yes.
Let’s go.
I couldn’t fight my happy shakes as I moved toward the door. “I guess you’re right.”
Chapter Eleven
Elder
“NO, YOU DON’T understand.” I pointed a finger in the face of a pubescent cop who thought he had the right to keep me from Pim when he was just a glorified receptionist. “Tasmin Blythe, as I told you before. I want to see her. Immediately.”
“And like I told you before, we don’t work on demands.” He puffed up his very breakable body. “Take a seat, and I’ll look for any updates on her case.”
All I wanted to do was grab the computer and smash it over his goddamn head.
Didn’t he understand that she was incarcerated because of me?
If I hadn’t taught her to pickpocket. If I hadn’t forced her to steal to pay me back for nonsensical debts, she wouldn’t be in this place.
Christ!
My entire body shook as I slammed my fist onto the desk again. “There is no case. She’s innocent. I don’t care what the charges are. Let her go.”
“That isn’t possi—”
“Carter, it’s okay.”
I spun around as a female officer in an ironed skirt, crisp blazer, and shiny gold buckles appeared from a room to the right.
I opened my mouth to tell her nothing was okay. Nothing would be okay again unless I could get Pim’s crime revoked. Shit, I’d give myself up if they needed a perpetrator to prosecute.
But then my eyes fell onto the woman beside her.
And the rest of the world no longer mattered.
I stumbled at the sight.
My heart burst into flames.
A black eye painted her beautiful face. She moved stiffer than her usual liquid grace, reminding me all over again of the beaten creature I’d stolen months ago.
The fact she stood next to an officer made my rage fucking explode. How dare these assholes trap her against her will. How dare they take away her freedom when she’d fought tooth and fucking nail to earn it.
Couldn’t they see the trials she’d endured?
The horror she’d survived?
So fucking what she’d stolen from some pretentious, self-absorbed mark? If anyone deserved the right to bend the law for her own gains, it was her.
Her.
Her green eyes met mine, her shoulders tight. “El—”
I didn’t let her finish.
Launching forward, I grabbed her in a possessive embrace as if she’d be snatched away at any moment.
She was so fragile in my arms. So warm and small and right.
I groaned as her breasts pressed against my chest. I needed her closer. Touching her wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough.
Plucking her from the floor, I relished in her light weight, squeezing her as tight as I dared. Far tighter than I should.
I squeezed her in protection, affection, and most of all, aggression for what she’d done to me. The agony she’d injected into my heart. The poison she’d infected my brain with. The knowledge I now carried that she was selfless in trying to shield me from myself, and I was selfish in letting her try.
Never again.
She’s mine.
It’d taken a separation to understand that, but now I did.
Good luck to the rest of the world and anyone else who wanted her because they couldn’t fucking have her.
Even if it meant tying myself up for the rest of the trip to England. Even if it meant I could never say goodbye when we arrived. Even if it meant I lived the rest of my life in a fog of marijuana just to be able to talk to her without the incessant need to be inside her. Even if it meant my mind finally cracked, and I became so helplessly tangled I might never be normal again.
Even then.
She would remain mine.
I should’ve seen this coming. I should’ve sensed the warning signs: the first time my heart tap danced when she smiled. The moment when my gut clenched because her happiness affected my future rather than just my present. The second my entire body drenched in sensitivity whenever she came near.
All those warning signs I’d ignored or misread.
But now I understood the message.
I was dead without her.
I was alive with her.
Simple.