‘Forget the virus. We’ll stay in the bunkers.’ He grabs my shoulders. ‘You and I can strengthen the vaccine ourselves. You don’t have to walk into an execution just because Lachlan left one waiting for you.’
Dax’s words are pure madness – there’s no way we can just hide from something like this – but his desperation drags up every doubt I have about my father’s plan. My eyes stray to the Zarathustra files, piled neatly on the floor. I trust my father’s code, but I’m still handing my life to a man who cut open children.
But he always had his reasons. Cole said he trusted my father more than anyone on the planet, even after what he’d been through. My father was a complicated man, but he wasn’t wasteful. He wouldn’t have written a procedure like this unless he had no choice.
‘No, Dax,’ I say, fighting to keep my voice level. ‘We’re doing the decryption, and we have no time to spare. We can do it tonight if we can get out of here with the clonebox and make it to the lab.’
His emerald eyes blaze, but I can see the fight in him fading. He knows there’s no walking away from this just as well as I do. Finally his shoulders drop and he paces across the room. ‘I always thought we’d get married one day,’ he murmurs, ‘after this was over.’
‘Dax …’
‘It just seemed like the way it should go. We’d live together, we’d code together, but now … we won’t.’ His eyes drop to Cole’s mattress again.
‘It’s not what you think,’ I say, even though I don’t know what Dax thinks, and if I’m honest, I don’t know what’s happening between Cole and me. ‘I was shaken –’
He waves a hand. ‘You don’t need to explain yourself. I should have read the code faster. I should have understood.’
‘It was in quaternary.’
‘Yes.’ He gives me a sad smile. ‘You and your father seem to be the only ones who can read it like that.’
I hold his gaze. There is a sadness in his eyes that opens a crack of fear in me. Somehow it’s worse than his anger. He’s already mourning me.
A day from now I’ll be gone from this world, and he’ll have to live with the knowledge that he was the one to kill me. It won’t be clean, and it won’t be painless. I’ve pushed that aspect of the decryption to the back of my mind, but seeing grief etched into Dax’s face brings it into focus. That crack of fear widens into a chasm, until I find myself teetering over it, a breath away from free fall.
I will die. There will be no return. My body will dissolve, and I know that death is inevitable, but I’m not ready for it yet. If I believed in something beyond this world, maybe I could clutch at it like a rope, but I don’t, and all I see after this life is cold, infinite darkness.
Dax’s eyes narrow in concern. I draw in a slow breath and hold it, wrenching my focus back under control. The fear shrinks inside me, folding in on itself, yielding to my will.
I blow out a breath, steeling myself. ‘Just tell me what I need to do.’
Dax looks me up and down, his eyes still narrowed, then turns and scans the room. ‘Pack your things. I’ll get the clonebox and set off the kick to get us out of here. When I do, you and Lieutenant Franklin just need to get up to the garage where your jeep is waiting. Leoben and I will take another one.’ He glances back at Cole’s mattress. ‘You can’t tell him about this, Princess.’
‘Cole?’
He nods. ‘He’s a black-out agent who’s been tasked with your protection. I don’t know how he’ll react to this. He might be fine, or he might go rogue and try to take you away. He might sabotage the procedure. It’s not a risk we can take.’
I close my eyes. The thought of lying to Cole sparks a war inside me. Cole deserves to hear the truth, and I don’t want to lie to him, but Dax has a point. I don’t know how Cole’s protective protocol will deal with my impending death.
He might flip out and try to protect me. He might lose control during the procedure.
He might inadvertently destroy any chance we have of unlocking the vaccine.
‘OK,’ I say, ‘I won’t tell him. How soon can we leave?’
‘Within the hour. I can get started now.’ He steps to the door. It slides open, and he stands with one hand on the frame. ‘Are you ready?’
I wrap my arms around myself. ‘Am I crazy for doing this, Dax?’
He looks me up and down, his face softening. ‘No, Princess. You’re not crazy at all. I think you’re very brave.’
Brave. The word is steadying. I let it roll back and forth in my mind, quieting the sparks of fear in my chest. Maybe my father didn’t just choose me for this because he knew I’d be dutiful and follow the plan he left for me. Maybe he chose me because he knew I’d face it.
Because I’m strong. Because I fight. Because I’m not afraid to do the right thing.
My father left this task to me because I am brave.
‘OK,’ I say. My voice is firm, unwavering. ‘Let’s do this now. Set off the simulation.’
Dax nods once, his eyes lingering on mine, then turns and strides from the room.
By the time Cole returns with a tray of waffles, I’ve packed our bags and am pacing back and forth, chewing my fingernails nervously. It’s a habit I’ve found myself picking up the last few days, though I’ve never done it before. The stress must be getting to me.
My genkit is safely stowed in my backpack, along with the Zarathustra files, and I’ve left my bloodstained blue Homestake clothing in a pile by the bed. I’m wearing the tank top and cargo pants Cole brought for me, my hair pulled up in a ponytail. I keep wondering if this is the last outfit I’ll ever wear.
‘Hey,’ Cole says, setting the tray down. ‘Are you OK? Crick commed me, said we’re leaving now. What’s going on?’
‘He’s getting the clonebox and setting off the kick simulation. We’re going to the lab.’
Cole’s jaw tenses. My intuition spikes.
‘What?’ I ask. ‘Is there something wrong with the plan?’
Cole meets my eyes, but he doesn’t say a word. My mind rolls back to the morning before, when Dax and Leoben arrived. Dax said the simulation would get us out of here. Leoben said it was written by Jun Bei …
The girl he thought was responsible for the hack that killed my father. The girl who stabbed a nurse with a pair of scissors.
‘Oh,’ I whisper. ‘I forgot. The kick is Jun Bei’s code.’
He nods. ‘It’s a computer virus. It runs a simulation that’ll make it look like the bunker is under cyberattack. Which it is, I guess. It’ll infect every system and cause temporary chaos. It’s how Jun Bei escaped from the lab.’
Chaos? My stomach clenches. I don’t know much about Jun Bei, but everything I’ve heard has made her sound terrifying. Which is understandable, I guess. I can’t imagine what kind of horrors the Zarathustra subjects lived through. If Jun Bei is dangerous now, it’s probably because my father made her that way.
But the idea of using her code to break out of Homestake still chills me to my core.
‘Cole, this simulation … Nobody is going to get hurt, are they?’
He opens his mouth to reply just as the lights flicker, and an alarm wails through the speakers in the ceiling. An automated voice starts up, reciting instructions on a loop.