‘He is the Lord Almighty.’ I laugh softly, casting my gaze to him at the bar. He’s still watching me, though something tells me the glass of bubbles in my hand isn’t the reason why. I can see curiosity scattered across his face, the signature creases that I’ve become familiar with spanning his forehead. I breathe in, unable to help admiring the fine form of a man who is my husband. He has a sexy, magnetic appeal that demands attention, and for the most part, he knows it. He’s a god, no denying it, and I am married to him. Though past all his cocky arrogance, there’s a vulnerability. A weakness. I am the cause of that weakness. His love for me.
I study him as he studies me, his big body relaxed against the bar. My eyes go off on a tangent, roaming the vast length of him, all the way down to his Grensons, and back up again until I get to his face. That face. I sigh, relaxing, a smile breaking free when his green eyes shine, glimmer, and sparkle madly, his devilish smirk faint but apparent. He’s aware of the inspection he’s under, and, as always, he’s taking too much pleasure from my inability to keep my damn eyes under control. I shake my head faintly on a little laugh, and he winks, kissing the air. ‘Arrogant pig,’ I mouth.
‘I love you, too,’ he mouths back, making me laugh out loud and quickly return my focus to Kate before I inflate his huge ego even more. The man’s a case. When I find my friend, I also find a cheesy grin around another one of those bloody canapés.
‘Tell me you don’t adore that man,’ she demands. ‘Tell me it isn’t ingrained into you like every one of your internal organs. Tell me you don’t need him to survive.’
‘I can’t,’ I admit, though the idea is crazy if true.
I look at him and feel electric inside. He touches me, and my veins charge with heat. In his arms, I feel at home. Like nothing can hurt me. And I know for sure that it can’t.
‘I didn’t know what I felt at first,’ I admit. ‘Attraction, for sure, but trying to get my head around this man being my husband was frightening.’ I smile when Kate takes my hand and holds it in a sign of support. ‘I saw something in him, something that I should have been wary of, yet I was more intrigued by him. He’s told me things that are unbelievable, yet I believe them.’ Kate doesn’t ask what things, as I suspect she knows. ‘I just feel myself leaning on him in all ways, and I know it’s the right thing to do. I can’t explain it. I feel protective of him, even though I know he can more than look after himself. But more protective of his ways, like a need to defend how he is. Because I know why he’s like that. The Manor, his uncle, his brother. The scars on his stomach, just the thought of him being hurt, no matter in what way.’ At the mention of the scars, Kate inhales, flinching. ‘I know,’ I agree. ‘I was so mad when he told me how he’d sustained the injuries. I know he claims to have been nothing before he met me, empty and lost, but still. He shouldn’t have been so careless with his life.’
‘Careless?’
‘Not wearing his leathers when he rode his bike,’ I prompt, and she nods slowly, looking across to Jesse with the disappointment I feel myself.
‘He’s a silly man,’ she muses, starting to get up from her seat, the effort too much, even with my helping hand. ‘I need to pee for the thousandth time in an hour.’
‘Want me to come?’
‘Trust me, you don’t want to hear me pee. I sound like a carthorse.’
‘So you’re eating like a horse, peeing like a horse. You gonna start galloping?’ I smile when she chuckles.
‘Sam’s gonna have to roll me out of this joint.’ She stretches, standing tall, her palms in her back pushing her hips forward. ‘Oh, God,’ she groans, the sound pure pleasure. ‘I’ll be back in a minute. You want a drink?’
‘Yes, but don’t let Jesse see it.’
‘I’ll smuggle it through in my gigantic knickers.’ She wanders off, and I fall into thought again, at the same time admiring Jesse. Falling in love with him so quickly seems like an outlandish possibility.
But it happened once before.
And it’s happening once again.
Chapter 39
I watch as Kate half wobbles, half marches towards me, though it’s plain to see she’s trying to execute the latter with grit. It doesn’t matter if she’s failing. The look on her face is like thunder, and I’m puzzled as to why.
‘Oh shit, who’s upset the she-devil?’ Sam mutters under his breath, spotting his girlfriend steaming towards us. ‘Hey, gorgeous!’
‘What the fuck, Jesse?’ She launches right in. ‘Your scars. You told her you had a motorcycle accident?’
‘Oh,’ I say, her grievance suddenly crystal clear.
‘Oh? That’s it, oh? You can’t keep that kind of shit from her!’
What? I can’t keep that kind of shit from her? Fucking watch me. Only because Kate’s expecting do I hold back from getting up in her face. I don’t fancy a scrap with my mate, not that Kate would need him. She’s a firecracker all on her own, more so since my mate put a bun in her oven.
‘I know what I’m doing.’ I breathe through my statement, calm as I can manage when on the inside I’m livid. I know what’s best for my wife. Me.
She’s the one recoiling now, and Sam’s quick to move in, a pacifying arm placed on her back. And Kate’s quick to shrug him off. ‘You’re lying, that’s what you’re doing.’
‘I’m protecting her.’ I can feel my teeth grinding, my jaw aching in an instant.
‘By lying?’ She laughs, and it’s sarcastic as fuck. ‘Haven’t you learned? Look what happened the last time you kept her in the dark.’ Her face is getting redder by the second, her rage probably matching mine, though I’m containing it far better than Kate.
‘Kate, calm the fuck down.’ Sam tries to encourage her away. She’s having none of it.
‘You can’t lie to her. It isn’t right.’
I swallow and reach for Kate’s hand, taking it in a firm grip and looking her square in the eye. I hope she sees how sincere I am. How determined. ‘Kate, lies are necessary when you know the person you’re lying to can’t handle the truth.’ I breathe in more oxygen, and Kate snaps her mouth shut, so I push on while she’s been silenced. ‘Ava can’t handle the truth, Kate. Not now. Maybe never. I don’t know, but in this moment I’m not telling her all that shit. It pales into insignificance, anyway. What matters to me, to Ava, is us. Our family. The kids. I want all of her energy on me and the twins. Not a nobody who’s not in our lives any more.’
She’s staring at me, absorbing my speech. ‘I think you’re mad.’
‘I feel it,’ I say. ‘But she’s falling in love with me again, and now more than ever, I don’t want anything to jeopardise that.’ I flick my eyes to Sam. He still has hold of Kate, but his eyes are on me. Sympathy is emblazoned across his face. And his small nod tells me he understands the angle I’m taking here. I’m grateful.
‘Oh shit,’ Kate blurts, her welling eyes overflowing when she blinks.
‘Hey.’ I move in to comfort her, to make sure we’re all right. ‘Don’t get upset.’
‘I’m not upset.’ She looks down, as do I, finding a puddle around our feet. ‘My waters broke.’
‘Oh, fuck.’ I step back, cringing, feeling all kinds of guilty for more or less inducing her labour.
‘What?’ Sam shoots a fiery stare at his girlfriend. ‘That’s what happens when you get stressed out!’ He takes her cheeks and moves in, smacking a big kiss on her lips. ‘If you weren’t in labour, I’d spank you stupid.’
‘Save it for later, Samuel.’ Kate gazes at him as Sam gazes back. ‘We’re going to have a baby.’
And like the news might have just sunk in, he flips to panic mode. ‘Fuck! I’m going to have a baby!’ He looks at me, and then to Drew. ‘We’re having a baby!’ he shouts, silencing the room. ‘Call an ambulance!’
‘Someone calm him the fuck down,’ Kate mumbles, and then that mumble turns into a moan, her body bending at the waist. ‘Ohhh, shit, there it is.’
‘What’s going on?’ Ava rushes over, looking to everyone, and then down at her feet. ‘Oh.’