Chapter 32
I open my eyes the next morning to Ava beaming at me from where she’s lying on her side, mirroring me. Her hand is on my hip. Mine on hers. ‘What’s got you so happy at this time of the morning? Because I’m yet to put my cock inside you.’
She chuckles, moving in closer until her breath is spreading across the skin of my chest. ‘I love watching you sleeping. You look so angelic.’
I smile sleepily and close my eyes again, wrapping an arm around her naked back and pulling her closer. ‘Angelic? You mean godly, right?’
‘Right. And I’m happy I remembered something.’
She’s on a high, so happy with herself, just for remembering that small thing. I forbid myself to dwell on the fact that she might not be so thrilled when everything else comes back to her, the good, the bad, and the downright fucking hideous. It’s kind of crazy. On the one hand, I’m willing the memories forward, begging they come to her. On the other, I’m dreading it. Part of me is hoping they continue to drip through, little bit by little bit, giving her a chance to grasp it all, rather than them flooding back and probably sending her head into chaos.
‘Is that your phone?’
I frown, listening. ‘I must have left it downstairs.’ She’s out of my arms speedily, and I’m not too pleased about it. ‘Hey!’
‘It might be the kids.’ Her naked back disappears out the door, her urgency hampered by that lingering limp.
On a groan, I drag myself up, not bothering with any boxers, and make my way downstairs. I find her with the phone to her ear. ‘That FaceTime thing isn’t working,’ she says down the line, her fingers in her hair.
I grin when I look down her naked body, grabbing the coffee down from the cupboard. ‘Put it on loudspeaker,’ I demand.
‘Hey, Dad!’ Jacob sings, followed by Maddie.
‘Hey.’ I grab the cups down and Ava fetches the milk. ‘You missing us?’
‘A little.’ Maddie sniffs, and I smile. ‘Nan said we’re coming home on Monday.’
‘That’s right.’ I look at Ava and see she smiles to herself. ‘What have you two been up to?’ Don’t ask about the boy. Don’t ask about the boy.
‘I’ve been shell hunting on the beach with Hugo,’ Maddie declares, bold as fucking brass, almost proud, because she knows she’s well out of trampling distance. I grind my teeth and throw a glare at Ava, one that suggests she should take the reins before our daughter ruins my mood.
She takes the phone quickly and walks off, getting herself away from my bristly presence. Hugo. Fucking Hugo. ‘That’s nice, darling. What about you, Jacob? Caught any more fish?’
‘A twelve-pounder today, Mum!’ He sounds so excited. Why can’t Maddie find something she’s passionate about – something other than boys?
They chat happily for a while as I busy myself with the coffee, and then she says her goodbyes, a sad edge to her voice. I look up as she disconnects and sighs. She’s falling into despondency. I need to distract her.
‘Hey, eyes up here, baby.’ They instantly flick up and find me. ‘I have a surprise for you.’
‘Oh yeah?’ She gives a cheeky grin as she places the phone down and wanders over to me, and it fills my heart with all kinds of feel-good shit.
‘You have a one-track mind, lady.’ And I’m so fine with that, but for today I have a date planned.
Resting her hand on my chest, she beams up at me. ‘Is it any wonder?’ Her hands stroke down toward my . . .
‘Whoa!’ I laugh, quickly snatching her hand, stopping it from making it to my already growing cock. I’ll be doomed. Shit, where the hell is this resistance coming from? ‘Stop it.’
I sit her on a stool, smiling at her pouting face. She shrugs. ‘I can’t help it. I only have to look at you and—’
‘You’re wet. I know,’ I finish for her confidently, and massively smug. ‘You’ll get used to it.’ I flash her a wicked smile.
‘So what’s my surprise if it isn’t that?’
‘I’m taking you shopping for a new dress.’
‘What for?’
‘Drew and Raya’s engagement party on Saturday.’
Her eyes light up a little, but very quickly fade. Then they narrow. I know what’s coming. I’m prepared for it. ‘Do I get to pick the dress?’
‘Nope.’ I smile, smug, and head to get some more coffee.
‘I don’t think so,’ she retorts indignantly.
‘I do.’
‘No way.’
I turn and find her strutting out of the kitchen, her long hair swaying across her naked back. ‘I’ll find something in my wardrobe, thank you very much.’
‘Think again, lady,’ I yell after her, smiling. And because I feel like reinforcing my authority around these parts, I yell some more. ‘End of!’
Chapter 33
I’m watching her trawling through her dressing-room rails in search of a dress, anything she can wear for a posh engagement party at Café Royal. She has plenty of options, loads of beautiful gowns and dresses, mostly lace . . . she just can’t see them. Because I hid them while she was in the shower.
‘Found anything?’ I ask casually as I slip on my white Ralph Lauren polo shirt, flipping the collar up a bit too cockily as I inspect my fresh face in the mirror.
Slowly, she turns to face me, her eyes raging as I spritz myself with her favourite cologne. ‘What have you done with them?’
‘What?’ I ask past my reflection, all innocent. I’m not fooling her. She’s been through her wardrobes enough since she was discharged to realise there are piles of things missing. Namely, anything she could wear for an engagement party.
Pointing back to one of her wardrobes, her jaw goes all tight. ‘All my dresses are gone.’
I turn and crane my neck, feigning interest as I look past her to the sparse wardrobe. ‘That’s a damn shame. Then we’ll have to go buy you a new one.’
‘You’re impossible.’ Nostrils flaring, she grabs a pair of jeans and yanks them up her legs before throwing, quite literally, a shoulderless top over her head. ‘How have I lived like this for so many years?’
Baseball bat, meet my stomach. I very nearly launch into a rant and remind her that she loves me choosing her clothes, yet the shred of reason I have holds me back. Because I’m not dealing with my wife, per se. I’m dealing with the woman I met who fought me at every turn. Yet I was a lot younger then, had more energy. And though I felt the stakes were high, they weren’t quite on this level. My reason is fraying fast. ‘There’s no fucking need for that,’ I snap, turning on my heels and walking away before I lower both our moods further and lose my head. ‘I just want to buy you a new dress. So fucking kill me,’ I growl at thin air as I stalk towards the stairs. Just a fucking dress. A simple fucking dress.
‘Jesse,’ she calls after me, appearing across the landing when I reach the top of the stairs. I glower, and she sighs. ‘I’d love it if you were to buy me a dress.’ She’s pacifying me. Good. I need it. ‘Any dress you choose.’
‘Any?’ With no argument from her at all? There must be a catch.
‘Any.’ She pushes the confirmation through her tight jaw with a ton of effort.
My smile isn’t victorious, just genuinely happy. She’s flexing. It’s a huge step in the right direction, a step closer to the dynamics of our relationship that keep me calm. ‘Your Punishment Fuck is cancelled.’ I extend my hand in offer, and on a small shake of her head, she comes to me. ‘See how happy you make me when you comply?’
Her quiet laugh as we take the stairs together only increases my happiness. ‘Why can’t you just graciously accept my gesture and not be such an arrogant, unreasonable twat about it?’
‘Because me being an arrogant, unreasonable twat is all part of our normal.’ Grabbing my keys from the cabinet and handing Ava her bag, I walk us to the car. ‘I’d be a fraud if I tried to pass myself off as anything less.’ I open the car door and sweep my arm out in gesture. ‘My lady.’
Resting her forearm on top of the door, she sits her chin on it, eyeing me up. ‘So basically our normal is you throwing your orders around and me obeying?’
‘If the shoe fits.’