“When you bartered your life for Marshall’s, did they work?”
His jaws clench. The tectonic plates shift instantly as his eyes darken to slate. “No, they didn’t.” His voice is guarded. Almost cold.
“Then why should they work for me?”
“Because Marshall didn’t break the law. He had a right to be back here.”
I gasp, taking another step back. “And Javier’s life somehow matters less because of that?”
“Not his life. Only his right to be here at your expense when you’ve played by the rules while he took shortcuts.”
“Shortcuts? He works harder than—” I say through my teeth.
“Stop!” His voice fires like a gunshot in the air. “I will not engage in a political debate with you. This is only about your future, your life. And I refuse to watch you go to prison for the mistakes of some Mexic—”
“Mexicans? That’s all they are to you?”
“What they are to me is irrelevant. All that matters is what they are to you. I know you love them but right now, they’re a threat.”
“They’re my family! They’re the people who saved the life of the woman you claim to love!”
I take a step forward to walk away but the change in his eyes locks my feet. A flash of fury strikes in the dark irises—over and over, like an electric current over the heart, failing to revive it. But the plates don’t shift. They’re still as though my words broke them.
“Claim to love?” His voice is low, guttural. His head jerks slightly to the side. “You want to know the full truth, Elisa? If I’d had you back here the day Marshall died, if I knew you were waiting for me to come home, I might not have bartered my life with his. I might have torn through those steel cables sooner. Just so I could see your face again. Even if I already remember every pore of your skin and every strand of your hair. Once I love, I love forever!” He stops talking but his voice reverberates in the library silence.
Once I love, I love forever.
I take a step toward him and reach to caress his scar but he turns his head away.
“Do you want to know the truth?” I say. My voice doesn’t echo; it’s a whisper of air as though it wants to float inside him. “I love you like that too. You’ve brought me to life. But even if there’d been no accident on that January night and we had met another way, I still would have moved here for you. We’re not that different, love.”
Something flits in his eyes—as though the electric charge finally obtained a heartbeat. “Then you can have me,” he says. His voice is no longer cold. It has a soft note, almost like defeat. “Turn him in and you can have me.”
I play his words in my head—once, twice—but they make no sense. “What?”
“Turn him in and I’m yours. Forever. However you want me. But not this way. Not with prison visits and phone calls while I sit there helpless watching you lose everything for someone who may end up being deported anyway. If I brought you to life, I want you to live it.” He takes a shuddering breath and swallows. “Please, Elisa.” His words are a hoarse whisper. As if this is all he has left to bargain—all he can give.
Tears blur my eyes at the searing agony in his eyes because I know I can’t ease it. Because I am causing it. I look down at his Oxfords. “I can’t,” I whisper. “I love you. I love you more than my own life. But I love the Solises too. I can’t betray them any more than I could have crashed into my parents’ Beetle. Or any more than I can leave you. I can’t choose between you.”
Sobs start and torrential tears gush to my chin. I’m the one who should be under marble and roses. I’m a plague to everyone who’s ever loved me.
“Oh, but you are choosing, Elisa. You’re choosing to sacrifice yourself, to take yourself away from me.”
“No! Never! I—I—I’ll stay here illegally. I’ll give up s-s-science. My d-d-dad. All of it—” I pause to breathe over the sobs as a cold shiver chills my neck. Like a breath from the grave. I know it’s my imagination. But it doesn’t make it less real.
“I’ll just w-w-work with Maria at the hotel. I’m a good cleaning lady. It’s worth it if I can still have all of you… If you’ll s-s-still have me then…” I can’t speak anymore from the sobs. Behind the blurry tears, Bob’s scene transforms. I’m still in a hospital, but I’m mopping the floor. Through a cracked door, I see Aiden with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, all-American girl who didn’t come with my baggage. Who made him happy. Who gave him a sapphire-eyed boy.
“Oh, fuck!” His torn voice barely seeps through the roaring sobs in my ears. Through the curtain of tears, I see his Oxfords turn. He’s walking away. Away from me.
“Please, don’t go!” I gasp, and grip his arm from behind.